MIL and her allergies

[Cryingmakesmecry]

MIL is moving in with us, she has severe allergies to the following:

Garlic
Chives
Celery
Salad onions/spring onions
Anything else from the garlic family
Penicillin

She doesn’t carry an epi pen, and doesn’t want to get one from the doctors.

Would you keep any of the above in the house? DH says it’s fine to keep but I’m scared of cross contamination even if I kept them separate from everything else.

I do most of the cooking and am very careful with her, I’ve also got a separate chopping board for when I’m preparing meals that include her. She moves in officially from next week so wondering if I need to do a cull of dried herbs etc before then.

Those who live with people with severe allergies, what do you do?

YABU: don’t get rid of anything just keep it separate

YANBU: get rid of everything and accept a life free of garlic bread

Thank you!

Oh god. Why won't she carry an epi pen?

I wouldn't let someone with severe allergies move in without first taking responsibility themselves.

My Dad has suffered from anaphylactic shock a couple of times, triggered by wheat, you do get some warning - but it's frightening and without the epi pen he would never have made it to hospital.

What sort of allergy? Does she get a runny nose or anaphylaxis?

Is the move permanent, or just during lockdown? And is she insisting you get rid of allergens?
If it's only for a few weeks/months I might consider it, but not if it's going to be for the rest of her life.

I simply wouldn't keep my MiL in the house. Certainly not without an epi pen.

So just she really have "severe allergies" or do these foods just not agree with her? I say that because while they they are uncommon foods for allergies some people will get indigestion from them or strongly dislike them and call it an allergy.
If she is genuinely in danger of anaphylaxis then I wouldn't have those foods in the house while she is staying.
If not then you have to decide whether you always cook for her separately or you all eat bland food.

Your house, your rules. She needs to get an epi pen before she moves in.

Agree she should make sure she has an epi pen.

My children have severe allergies to milk egg, nuts and sesame. We keep all of these things in the house. We do have epipens though.

If her allergies cause anaphylaxis, an Epi pen will save her life. It won’t cause any harm to her.

We don’t have my child’s allergens in the house and we don’t go anywhere without two epipens.

Allergies are unpredictable and anaphylaxis can be fatal before an ambulance could arrive.

If severe means anaphylactic then I wouldn't have them in the house.

Anaphylactic allergies are usually more common in certain allergies like peanuts or shellfish. Possibly by severe she means really upset stomach. If so I would still be very careful to avoid cross contamination but I wouldn't cut out those items from house altogether unless life threatening.

My son is anaphylactic to peanuts so we never have nuts in the house. We do have may contain peanut items that he doesn't eat but the rest of us do as risk of cross contamination from a may contain is low enough for me.

define severe allergy

I'll bet you a significant sum of money it's not anaphylaxis if she doesn't bother to carry an autoinjector

is she by any chance attention seeking/manipulative in nature?

She needs an epi pen is she has severe reactions

Does she have a severe allergy or does she just not like them?

We don't keep anything that DD2 is properly allergic to in the house it's not worth the risk.

We keep a few things that give her an upset stomach in a separate cupboard in the kitchen. We also keep a knife, a chopping board and a pan in that cupboard. They are only ever used/eaten when she's away for the weekend just to be safe.

I wouldn't be remotely happy living with someone who has an anaphylaxis reaction who refuses to get an epi-pen.

I have severe food allergies - the epi pen is a bit of a red herring. An epi pen doesn't make it okay for me to eat nuts - it might save my life if I eat them by mistake and am in danger of death, but it is not the answer. The answer is to avoid my allergens.

I too am surprised by your MIL's allergens - have never heard of severe allergies to those foods. If a family member of mine moved in - and was severely allergic to those foods - I would stop buying them. I'd make do with having garlic bread etc when I was out.

It very musch depends on her reactions. I have the garlic and penicillin allergy. As long as im not taking other peoples medicine then the penicillin one isnt an issue. The garlic one causes stomacg cramps and mouth ulcers when eaten and burning blisters when handled (only if was chopping it just picking it up is fine) so for me cross contamination isnt an issue if her reactions are more severe then id be making sure she had an epipen.

It depends whether it is either A - she has a life-threatening allergy and all those foods need to be banned from the house completely, or B - she has a food intolerance and they give her appalling wind so she avoids them for that reason, but is too embarrassed to say so.

What does severe mean? I would not want to live with someone why is anaphylactic but refuses an epi pen. Why on earth won't she get a potentially life saving device?

When you say severe allergies, how severe?

Will she potentially die if she touches them/smells them as some individuals can with nut allergies? Or does she only have an effect if she eats them so much easier to avoid.

I have an anaphylaxis reaction to penicillin and I’m really sensitive to it, even mould growth on citrus fruit has hospitalised me. I wasn’t offered or given an epipen by the NHS as they “don’t give them for this allergy.”

Living with other people is a nightmare if they aren’t clean, or responsible - I just had to become unapologetic about throwing food away if it was in the fridge too long when I shared an apartment. Still didn’t catch everything, and got seriously ill a few times. When I moved to the US and Middle East, doctors were shocked I hadn’t been given epipens. I’d encourage her to go private to get them.

If she is severely allergic, it’s a life without garlic as the spores are enough to cause an emergency medical situation. But I’d get your husband to speak to her about this and present your concerns. That way she can tell you what works for her health. It may be that she keeps a fridge and toaster oven in her room and doesn’t access the main kitchen.

Definitely Anaphylactic afaik! She used to have epi pens but they went out of date and she never got a new prescription. She seems to think she has to pay for them (?)

Have never encountered her having any kind of attack but as I say I’m very careful, when we eat out she has completely bland food to avoid any risks.

I said the same thing to DH that it’s unfair she doesn’t carry a pen because it’s putting a lot of pressure on everyone around her to monitor things. I always double check but I have a toddler so it would be very easy to get suddenly distracted and mix stuff up if that makes sense!

She’s moving in full time, not just for lockdown. I know I know!!!

I would really insist that if she comes to live with you she gets an EpiPen OP! Why is she so against getting one?

If she’s anaphylactic to all those foods then I would def keep out of the house. Be careful about reading packets too because I can see them being in a lot of different foods!

You're lovely thinking so much about it. The epi pen will depend on the severity of her allergy, won't it? You could always get a bit firm with her and say "no epi pen, no moving in" (only much more nicely and diplomatically).

Also worth checking how bad it is because a life without garlic bread is just unthinkable!

Yeah she did say to me once that it’s ok to have her stuff that contains garlic in the house (sealed jars, or like ready meals) but no real raw garlic. Yikes! Looks like a life without garlic it is, one of my favourite flavourings

So just she really have "severe allergies" or do these foods just not agree with her? I say that because while they they are uncommon foods for allergies some people will get indigestion from them or strongly dislike them and call it an allergy.

This is my thinking - my DM has a fair few ‘allergies’ which I would simply call intolerances. She’s never been to the doctor about them and certainly doesn’t need an epipen for any of them. If an allergy is ‘severe’ you need an epipen, simple.

Not “have her stuff” *have stuff!

She can’t have anything containing it!