MIL and her allergies

[Cryingmakesmecry]

MIL is moving in with us, she has severe allergies to the following:

Garlic
Chives
Celery
Salad onions/spring onions
Anything else from the garlic family
Penicillin

She doesn’t carry an epi pen, and doesn’t want to get one from the doctors.

Would you keep any of the above in the house? DH says it’s fine to keep but I’m scared of cross contamination even if I kept them separate from everything else.

I do most of the cooking and am very careful with her, I’ve also got a separate chopping board for when I’m preparing meals that include her. She moves in officially from next week so wondering if I need to do a cull of dried herbs etc before then.

Those who live with people with severe allergies, what do you do?

YABU: don’t get rid of anything just keep it separate

YANBU: get rid of everything and accept a life free of garlic bread

Thank you!

I know someone who has anaphylaxis to onions and garlic. It is rare, but can happen. And celery is a fairly common allergen - it is one of the 14 allergens which must by law be highlighted on packaging in fact. So nothing too unusual or unbelievable about that one.
However, even people who suffer from anaphylaxis vary in their sensitivities. Some will not react unless they actually ingest their allergen whereas others can have a reaction triggered by minute amounts due to cross contamination, or from touching or smelling their allergen. I think you need to find out more about exactly how sensitive your MIL is before you decide how to proceed. At a guess though if she eats out in restaurants etc she is not going to be so sensitive that you have to eradicate all traces of her allergens from your home. Obviously I'm making assumptions there and of course you need to check, but the man I know who is onion allergic never eats out as he is highly sensitive and the risk of cross contamination is too high as of course onions are in the kitchen of every restaurant, even if they will cook an onion free dish specifically for him. So if she's not like that, you will probably be ok with her just having separate food - though I agree with others that she, and your husband, need to step up and take responsibility for her diet. And she absolutely does need to get another autoinjector - well, 2 to be precise.

As has already been stated, carrying adrenaline doesn't mean you can relax your guard, but it does provide a safety net in case of accidental ingestion. My teenage son has multiple allergies, but until fairly recently he hadn't had an anaphylactic reaction since he was a small child. But last year he accidentally ate a tiny bit of something he shouldn't and started reacting immediately. We were in the car on the way back from a sports fixture so I pulled over and asked him where his autoinjectors were. I got an answer I didn't want to hear - "In my school blazer pocket, hanging up at home". Fortunately we were not too far from the local hospital so I drove straight to A&E but it was the scariest few hours of both our lives and we had strong words after he was better! He admitted that he'd got a bit complacent as he couldn't actually remember his previous anaphylaxis as he was so young then. And to be honest, so had I, plus I had made some assumptions about his ability to organise himself that were a bit optimistic. But we both learned from the experience and it isn't likely to be repeated. It may be that your MIL is the same if she hasn't reacted for a long time. She needs to be reminded that accidental exposure can occur at any time, and that a change of home and a new routine probably make that more likely. And its not all about her. Obviously it is her life she is risking but seeing someone have an anaphylactic reaction is traumatic for other people. I know this sounds a bit harsh, but it is a real possibility - suppose she had a reaction in your house and died before the ambulance arrived and the rest of the family were powerless to do anything. That would be horrendous for you all and possibly leave long lasting effects, especially if you have young children. Does she really want to risk that, all to save a prescription charge? I appreciate you are in a difficult position here but it is not your responsibility to mother her. She is an adult. She needs to start behaving like one and take responsibility for her own health.

@HopelesslydevotedtoGu

Is she genuinely allergic to all of those things? It's not that she is allergic to penicillin and intolerant of the others? It's unusual to be allergic to garlic, celery etc., a food intolerance to them is much more common (which could be unpleasant for her, but wouldn't be life threatening).

If she is truly allergic to them then personally I would avoid having them in the house, as I know I wouldn't be careful enough to avoid cross-contamination, I would rather not have garlic than worry about having garlic.

However if she has said it's ok to have them in the house I don't think it's wrong for you to do so - she is an adult who can make a risk assessment. It's odd that this wasn't discussed earlier though!

A friend has a child with a severe peanut allergy and has been told to feed the young siblings peanuts regularly to reduce their chance of developing allergy - she manages it, and the older one has never had a reaction to the peanuts in the home, so it is possible.

Celery is a very common allergen, that is why it must be declared and highlighted in bold on products sold in the UK.