My 12 yr old fell asleep an hour ago and he’s been so awful I’m tempted to leave him to sleep through

[savetti]

What’s the chances he’ll sleep right through
This is the first time I have had any peace for weeks

He doesn’t usually go to bed at midnight in usual term time !
Lockdown has been a nightmare
I have to care for my uncle in the morning, so he sleeps 12-10, which was the same as 10-8 previously
He has never been a child affected by lack of sleep, even when a tiny baby. Obviously things change, puberty on it’s way

I’m not ok, glowcat. I’m at my wits end

As a mum of a 12 year old boy, I would let him sleep. Late nights, more xbox time and growth spurt might be catching up with him.

As I'm a worrier incase he woke up hungry in the middle of the night, I'd make a packed lunch and keep it in the fridge, a big note somewhere obvious so hed see the note before he made himself oven chips or a toastie and half burn the house down. Your son might be more sensible than mine though.

I'd also sleep with my door open so I'd hear him go downstairs. But as I say, I'm a worrier

OP you sounds to behaving a tough time. Why won't your DS lat you go back to sleep. That's quite unusual behaviour for a 12yo.

He's twelve - he's still a bit young to be setting his own bedtimes. Midnight is too late (especially if he's sleeping until the afternoon). At twelve, I'd say in bed by ten, lights out at ten thirty is healthier as a routine, with obvious exceptions for special events.

He's probably due a growth spurt, hence the tiredness and grumpiness.

Does he have SEN, OP? I'm a bit worried that it sounds like you're almost being bullied in your own home. Do you have any support?

@ pps mentioning 12am being late for bedtime - you can't force someone to sleep/change, you can encourage earlier sleep times but it's sometimes counterproductive, unless you have them get up at 6am every morning - my 6yr old son has always fallen asleep naturally anywhere between 10-11pm - he's just never tired out! he perks up at nighttime - my mom says I was EXACTLY the same! everyone's different and as long as he's having the right AMOUNT of sleep and it's dark in his room for him to release growth hormones, then OP can't do much more than she's doing.
OP, leave him be - if it's been a crap day, maybe go and lie next to him, give him a cuddle and read next to him.

You sound a bit defeated.

Let him sleep.

I have to care for my uncle in the morning, so he sleeps 12-10, which was the same as 10-8 previously

Hang on, so have you deliberately adjusted his sleep pattern so that he sleeps later in the morning, allowing you to leave him asleep to care for your uncle?

If so, I feel for you because it sounds like you're in a difficult situation, but I'm not sure this is the answer. Apols if I have the wrong end of the stick!

He’s not sleeping into the afternoon, I meant he possibly would if I didn’t wake him. He sleeps 12-10, then gets up and does his schoolwork.
That’s a good point actually, he always has to be woken up.
He goes to bed about 10, it takes him about 2 hours to wind down. No gaming or phone. He’s just naturally hyper
Ed physiological evaluation overdue because if COVID.

I haven’t deliberately adjusted his sleeping times, but yes it suits.

Fingers crossed he stays asleep. But where will you sleep?

Why are you upstairs crying to get away from him? Does he have additional needs?

TBH, I'd leave him and find somewhere else to sleep.

OK, it might mean him waking you up at 4am, but the peace and quiet in the meantime will be highly enjoyable.

A sleeping child should only be woken for essential medication or in the event of a house fire. He obviously needs the sleep.

Bless you honestly, I would leave him and have some peace yourself right now. If you're struggling then you need some relaxation yourself for your own sanity and to help you cope. Don't forget the world is upside down at the minute and lockdown has been going on for 12 weeks, it's a long time and it's bound to be taking its toll on you both. As others have said he's probably got hormones going crazy, he'll be growing and then add in the current situation on top he most likely doesn't know what to do with his emotions.

Honestly, leave him asleep, go downstairs eat some snacks have a brew (or wine, or gin?) In peace and get an early night yourself!! I know you're struggling but you're doing amazingly well, parenting pre-teens is rough

His sleep time is adjusting itself. If he wakes at 4am, he'll automatically fall asleep earlier tomorrow night.

Try to perpetuate it.

He must need it and maybe that’s why he’s been so awful! Is he neurotypcial? He sounds quite “young” for his age. Do you want to tell us what happened today? Maybe we could help?

Don’t worry about his bedtime! As long as he is getting enough sleep I wouldn’t worry about it, I was sent to bed at 9pm every night until I left school and would lie in bed wide awake until around 1am before drifting off every night, some people just naturally wind down later.

Maybe leave him in your bed and you get in his so that you don’t have to disturb him?

Of course he’s fallen asleep and been playing up if midnight is when he normally goes to sleep! He’s bloody knackered!

He doesn’t leave me alone
He wants to be everywhere I am, follows me around, won’t do anything independently, including schoolwork. He sits on me, to hug me, squeeze me, get my attention.
Yes, definitely additional needs, prob adhd with ex dysfunction, dyslexia, processing issues. But no diagnosis yet

I'd leave him - he obviously needs it.
You might well find he sleeps right through to 7.35am straight.
Be brave and see.
My 13 year old can do 13 hours quite easily at times.

Its really hard to say with the information you give. I'd say if he's neurotypical and given kids are in quarantine at the moment and everything is weird I'd say his messed up sleeping pattern isn't a huge problem.

If he's asleep leave him be, maybe he needs it. Get a quilt and sleep on the sofa if theres no room in the bed for you. If I remember correctly, at that age my son would often have afternoon naps or sometimes turn in really early. At puberty they go through huge changes and just like toddlers sometimes they just really need their sleep to get through it.

And bedtime is usually about midnight, so very early

Wow, that's late, maybe that's why he's so tired and been so horrible?
I've a 12 year old and if he went to bed at midnight on a regular basis he'd be a bloody nightmare!
Sounds like you've had a shite day so I'd just leave him to it to let yourself have some peace and a chill.
It's 8pm now, what good's going to come from waking him?
You'd be waking him up for him to go back to sleep in a few hours (which let's face it probably wouldn't happen!} Just leave him be as he obviously needs the sleep, and from tomorrow try and get an earlier bedtime routine in place.
12 yr old here has been going to bed at 10.30 since schools are out and I thought that was late enough lol

My teen ds once slept for 14 hours after he had fell asleep at 6 ish.

Hi @savetti Sorry I didn't catch your last post. Have you had a look in the Teenagers topic? This thread may also be helpful to you?