To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Have some fucking
You do you.

Very patronising to think they need or want advice from someone who clearly looks down on them and doesn't respect their mum at all.
I'm size 16 -18 and no one is unaware of their size, health risks, nutrition or exercise advice /info it is EVERYWHERE!

Weights a sensitive topic as you can read. I would rather someone told me tbh than my weight spiral out of control. It’s so easy to put weight on and a lot harder to loose.

You can tell someone in a nice way like someone else suggested the slimming world thing or signing up for the gym.

It is NONE of your business.

I'm confused @GymGirl23... what relations are these people to you for you to refer to them as 'the mum' and 'her daughters'? Also you haven't really mentioned what size you are? Solely for comparison so we can understand what you see as an acceptable size?

There's a chance you have some underlying frustration, if you are constantly struggling to maintain a healthy weight (based on you saying you've been overweight and dieted in the past) - if you've spent time working to to lose weight, you might just be feeling annoyed that other people don't seem to care about their weight as much as you do yours. But I'm sure if you stick with a good diet and don't fall off the wagon again, you'll stay a comfortable and healthy weight and you won't feel so frustrated by others' bad habits.

YANBU. The mum can do what she wants but she's inflicted this lifestyle on her dc and that's akin to child abuse imo.

They had no say when they were young about what to eat and she has fed them a high fat, high sugar diet and now their bodies will be addicted to this way of eating. They face type 2 diabetes, heart disease, fatty liver disease etc and probably don't like the way they look or feel at such a young age. Carrying extra weight makes it more uncomfortable to keep active as well.

Hopefully they will be able to turn it around but more likely she has set them up for a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and health risks. It has got nothing to do with you but it also makes me angry when I see people feeding their kids rubbish and making them fat when they have no control over it.

OP this is a really depressing situation which is only too common now.

I do think society in general has reset its level for what is a normal weight. Also, sadly, the daughters will not know what a healthy diet is. The substitution of nails/tan for real self care is sad.

I don't know what the answer is. What is your relationship with the family?

I wouldnt say a size 16 fat neither It is unless you're 5ft 9inch or over it is not unusual as the average.

I'm very happy with my 16-18 self. HTH.

She hasn't made the connection between the 2 things but if I can help family members I will.

^ how do you know this. Does she often ask why she has these things to you?

DD is a size 6, I showed her the thread and she also thinks you are a nasty judgemental cow OP.

I’m this sort of size. And short. And fat. And if some supercilious twat with too much time on their hands thought they needed to point it out to me I’d tell them where to go. I am also quite happy in life but I do know I need to lose weight. If I had “friends” like you, I’d start by shedding that excess baggage.

I'm 5'8, and as a size 16 weighed over 13stone. I can't do the BMI sum right now, but I think it was pushing. 30.
Size 10-12 now with a BMI of 23.
Tbh it was the BMI which freaked be into action. I think I kidded
Myself that I want fat until I worked that one out.

I'm that height and size, I don't have double chins (well, on zoom from a certain angle!) and I definitely have a waist. So either they don't look like that or they are bigger than they claim.
I am fat, but I would not appreciate your interference in that matter.

Of course I wouldn't mention their weight, I'd focus on nutrition and working out

You're going to be their dietician and personal trainer?

Do you do this professionally? I really can't see how you think you would be able to motivate someone to lose weight if they don't actually want to.

If you want to educate people, why not find people who want to lose weight? Why push your views on people who don't want them?

You've obviously worked hard to mould yourself into a 'better' version of yourself in your (or your mum's) eyes - if you used self-contempt about your figure to motivate yourself to lose weight, it's understandable that it's difficult to switch that contempt off when you see other people with double chins, etc. But it's important to remind yourself that it's not your double chin anymore!

Dh is a hospital consultant, often pretty end of the line stuff. @Clymene should he not tell them that the reason they are ill is because of their weight? Quite a lot express surprise when told the reason. Some do lose weight.

He is a hugely compassionate man, but he finds it hard to see so many people, including young people (under 60), with conditions that are limiting how they live their life and sometimes yes how long they live all because of their weight.

He sees more and more of it. It's not just about blood pressure. All that extra wear and tear takes its toll.

Weight is so different to different people too. My mum weighed this morning at 16 stone but wears a 14. I have a friend who weighs 13 stone and is a size 18 but they’re the same height.

I'm in my early 40s. I've been overweight most of my life. I hit a size 16 when I was 15 years old. I am now a size 22/24 and my knees are suffering. I am five foot five tall. Does OP not think my partner, my parents, friends and my GP all not expressed concerns? Of course they have. Have my thighs chafed until they bled through hot summers? Of course they have. Is shopping for pretty clothes a nightmare, especially to formal occasions? Of course it is. Will I ever change? Well, since I noticed the knees were going, I have been trying to. Previously to that, I didn't want to, really, in my heart of hearts. But not one person's "advice" led me to that conclusion, I came to it myself. I love food and being lazy. I need to stop being lazy and eat less. I came to that conclusion myself. I get that fat people offends the OP but telling them they are fat will not help.

As of today Mum said the eldest girl is now being tested for type 2 diabetes and she's so young.

In which case doctors will offer advice. It doesn't need to come from you as well. What could you possibly say to compare to the doctors?

If you're always working out at the gym to keep yourself from going back to being overweight then I'm not surprised your a little miffed at family members not working as hard on their size. It sounds hard for you. But I'm sure you can keep it up.

OP how d

"Previously to that, I didn't want to, really, in my heart of hearts. "

You didn't want to be slim or you didn't want to go to the effort of dieting?

It is fat, but it's probably none of your concern.

@tilder of course every doctor should (and in my experience as a confirmed fatty does) mention the danger of being overweight to their patients, but they are medical professionals. Unless the OP is a doctor or other health professional attending to these people, she has no place mentioning it to them.

If we’re talking about being a burden to the NHS should we also castigate everyone that drinks, smokes, or leads a stressful lifestyle?