To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Not goading but sharing my view.
I'm 5ft 8 with F cup boobs. I have an hour class figure, coming in at the waist and then curve out again at the hips.

I would not say I am fat. I have a pouchy bit of skin from having children.

I need to buy size 16/18s to fit my boobs, but they never fit me anywhere else.

I have spent years battling with self esteem and your title comes across as really shit. If they are happy, leave them to it, OP. If they truly are fat (they may know this and just not like to admit it, I have been there) then they likely know it and don't need you telling them. Leave them alone.

This world is a cruel place when it comes to women and weight. I have always hated buying the clothes size I do and at one point was so thin that you could see my ribs. Boobs never shrank and I still needed big sizes. I eventually realised, a size is just a size.

@tilder as someone who in the past has been morbidly obese, inwardly, I knew what I had to do before the consultants tactfully told me. I had/have 2 young daughters, was/am under 30 and putting my life on the line. Counselling has really helped me. But feeling supported by empathetic doctors and consultants who wanted me to live a long and healthy life and to see my daughters grow up consolidated it.

I’ve never been under any illusion as to how dangerous being overweight/obese is. I just needed that kick up the arse, a non judgemental ear and the right support to succeed.

They shouldn't eat a crap diet.

But you're being massively unreasonable to act like this is something they could change at the drop of a hat.

Eating habits are very deeply entrenched. They're rooted in emotions, you can't just tell someone salad is better than chips and expect that to do the trick.

Fat people wear their vulnerabilities openly, I bet you have some habits you're not proud of but wouldn't want some busybody picking you up on.

In short, keep your nose out. And yes it's possible to be that size and not fat, some people are just built on a bigger scale than others.

I am size 16, I'm fully aware that I am fat but if my skinny friend tried to offer me nutrition and fitness advice we would no longer be friends.
I'm not fat because I'm stupid and ignorant, I'm fat because when I was 15 someone laughed at my big boobs and said I was fat (I was 5'9", size 10 and played sport 5 x per week) so I starved myself then got into a classic starve-binge cycle which has lasted 20 years and ruined my metabolism. I also tend to eat when I'm tired, bored or stressed rather than just when I'm hungry.
I go to the gym, I'm strong, the last time I got ill (even a bad cold) was 2012, my blood pressure is perfect, I've had two textbook pregnancies and have two beautiful healthy children so yes I'm overweight, yes I'd like to be 3st lighter but believe me, a smug gym bunny pointing this out to me would be more likely to do harm than good.

As you will have gathered from the replies OP many of the 13 million obese Brits use mumsnet.
Whether you mean well or are genuinely lacking in self awareness never try to help overweight people unless they ask you first.

Well this went exactly as expected.

I'm 5ft3 and a size 10-12 I would class myself as "chunky but funky"

I have F cup breasts, have a noticeable and defined waist that comes in and then hips that go back out. I am an hourglass figure. I also weigh 12stone.

On me 16-18 would mean I was fat, but every woman's body is different! Someone could be a 16 and 5ft 8 they would not be fat.

I wouldn't interfere with your family, leave them be. It's not your duty or job to do so OP.

I'm not a vile person for caring about my family. You are to say such a thing.

You may be right about people being fat at size 16/18 but whilst you claim not be a vile person the tone of your posts has been utterly vile.

Cleymene I was a size 18 bottoms 20 tops (carried weight in my stomach.

My point is , that NO ONE on here (I hope) would condemn their D.C. to a miserable teens & twenties. Why is it OK for fatties ? I use that term because I was one !! and no amount of 'diet and exercise' would of changed that. Obesity is a complicated and awful disease because it is that horrible combination of mental and physical health. Not saying it.. doesn't make it better ..
My closest family and dearest friends NEVER mentioned it .. until I did.. because they didn't want to upset me .. It didn't make it less real.
Before I had the op I had ;

Sleep apnoea,(MANY overweight people have this and is the qualifier for Bariatric surgery - only they don't know they have it.. do you wake up several times a night ??)

High blood pressure.

Pre diabetes? ? Cost the NHS £3k A YEAR (my op cost £8k) I was pre diabetic for 8 years.

Severe arthritis . (My arthritis treatment cost god knows how much in NHS physio)

Incontinence . Common in obese patients . (Cost to me in humiliation- immeasurable)

Does ANYONE want that for their child ?

Not me.
That's for sure. When my DD 1 started putting on weight I TOLD HER .. before it was too late.

Look at Dr Rachael Batterham (YouTube ) of UCL ... this is not Hokum it's science. I cannot express strongly enough ?as someone who has really been there FOR YEARS ) do not take obesity for granted .

As you will have gathered from the replies OP many of the 13 million obese Brits use mumsnet.

This. YANBU but your thread won't go the way you want because of the above.

I'm a 16 and well aware that I'm fat.

If you told me so, I'd nod. Then punch you for being a spiteful wanker.

@2user1488481370 im glad you had fhd support you wanted.

@Reenskar its not about castigating people. It's about helping them.

Haven't RTFT, but you should definitely LTB

GymGirl23 Are you considered less attractive or less popular than these girls among your family? Is this what is driving your attitude, or are you jealous of their family dynamic and this is something you wish you had yourself? Well meaning concern about the health of family members is completely understandable but I'm not sure what's to be gained from this starting thread if not to validate your views.

I've lived in a country with one of the highest obesity rates in the world and the message there is simply move more. Everyone, regardless of their size, is encouraged to be more active whether that's a walk along the waterfront or joining a free outdoor exercise class. People there don't have access to gyms or expensive equipment but everyone knows how to have fun, dance and enjoy themselves. I think that's a much more positive way to encourage a more healthy lifestyle than endless shaming and hatred.

This threads made me see I need to loose weight. Thanks OP. I was a size 8 before and after giving birth. Before was just naturally thin, after was because I was in a DV relationship and really unhappy so not eating. I'm a size 16 because I eat when I'm happy, which I now am, but need to be healthy aswell. No snacks tonight.

I can’t really see what business it is of yours.

I'm a 16-18 and I'm fat. It isn't healthy at all and I'm working hard to get the weight off. A lot of fat people kid themselves that its "curves", I see it as diabetes inducing fat and I want it gone.

And my point is that people don't become obese in a vacuum. The go government could (off the top of my head):

• Build in better cooking and nutrition classes from very early and make them a key part of the curriculum and fund schools to provide ingredients
• better fund schools more generally so that so many of them weren't forced to flog off their paying fields to raise cash
• raise taxes on shit fast food so that it's not cheaper to feed a family of 4 at McDonald's than it is to cook a meal
• zone retail space so that it isn't full of crappy takeaways
• provide much better support to the thousands of people who are overweight because they have a dysfunctional relationship with food.

Obesity in the U.K. is a cultural problem - unless there is a commitment to deal with that at a root level, things aren't going to change.

And @disorganisedsecretsquirrel - your obesity was making you very ill. BMI normally has to be over 40 for weightloss surgery on the nhs unless you have significant health issues and size 18-20 typically doesn't cause the problems you had.

I walk my dog 2+ miles a day, I don't have any heart problems or any of the other issues you were suffering from. I"m glad you're feeling better.

Like I said, I used to be much thinner. I know how smug and evangelical it makes you feel.

I'm a 12/14 and consider myself fat. I certainly wouldn't appreciate someone offering me unwanted diet advice. Keep your nose out of their business and your thoughts to yourself.

But.....I only became fat at the menopause was always slim before, my hormones went mad and so did I, I've since had a gastric band which I paid for but even with the band the weight is too slow to come off.

I guess I don’t pay that much attention to other people’s bodies? People can do what they like, if they’re overweight then they’re overweight - it doesn’t impact on me and it’s none of my business. I do however judge people who are so invested in the business of other people, suggests they live quite small lives and need a distraction.

I'm a 16 and I'm definitely fat. I'm also curvy with a waist and bum but I'm not scared to use the word fat. I don't like it at all; I hate having a big obtrusive belly that gets in the way and makes me feel winded if I bend over.
It is very annoying when people use curvy as a euphemism for fat.

OP created an entire thread to talk about other people's weight... I believe she's actually just struggling with her own and may need some encouragement that she's not as fat as she thinks she is at a size 16-18. In which case this thread should give you the reassurance you need OP.

Perhaps instead of using the words fat you should be a bit more diplomatic.

As confusing as it is, not everyone seems to care about their long term heath or how being morbidly unhealthy affects how long they will live, I don't just mean larger people either, I know several slimmer people with terrible diets/ high Bp

They will only change if they want to so I would stay out of it

Yes a size 16-18 person is probably fat. (Me)

Bit here's a crazy thought... perhaps they know what you think of them and it's embarrassing and uncomfortable to them. I feel even from reading your post that you'd actually be disgusted to be associated with me.

Your title is horrible.

Anyway, I'm going out for my run now. Thankfully I'm not too fat to exercise.