To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

YANBU.

Well done for sticking to your guns OP and not being chased off by the perpetually offended.

YANBU at all!

16-18 is fat not curvy.

People sugar coat shit, well done you for speaking the truth!

I am more worried about all these people who have nothing else going on in their lives that they think about if someone else is fat or curvy. Someone else’s body has nothing to do with anyone but themselves.

Yes it’s fat but keep your trap shut. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with you

Other people's weight doesn't affect you so back off and leave them to it. There is plenty of info out there on bmi, weight and exercise and whilst high bp may run in their family it will likely he exacerbated by their weight and they will have already been told that by their gp.

Most people are overweight at a size 16-18. I am overweight at a size 12 you pointing out the obvious to me wouldn't help.

I got into MN mostly because I couldn’t deal with any more COVID shit on the news and, well, cars/football = boring. It was truly depressing to see how helpful, supportive and above all intelligent this site and its posters can be. Now I’m feeling a lot better. Please keep eviscerating each other like this. And focus on how you look, not what you can do. Otherwise the rest of us might have to raise our game.

Well apparently i am overweight at size 12/14 but have more fun than at size 10..it is up to them.

I think if you love someone, especially a family member then you care about them, you can't help that and it does affect you. Just as if they were addicted to anything that may shorten their life.

Far too many assumptions that people are being nasty or superior when they have people's best interests at heart.

But folks love to stay in denial don't they? Blame someone else, lash out and say 'poor me' rather than address the issue.

And that demographic is increasing (no pun intended).

Yep. In this fat phobic society with messaging that women can never be happy or worthy unless they're thin I'm sure they have no idea they are fat. Ffs.
Shame doesn't make people 'healthier' it often leads to poorer health outcomes for large people. Better they continue feeling good about themselves and make health changes from there if they choose to: health isn't an obligation. Or are only 'healthy' bodies (thin?) ok?

It really is out of order (and rude) to comment on someone else's appearance. We all come in different shapes and sizes. The girls you talk about sound happy and confident op. Of course it's healthier to be slimmer, but it's also healthier to not drink alcohol, and smoke, do you do any of those?

I am trying to loose weight...have eaten salad for weeks...weight loss is slow...tbh i am wondering if i should be content at my size 12/14...12stone me as life is so much nicer when not obsessed with dieting.

At least they can lose the weight. You can't change your personality OP 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’m 5 ft 7 and used to be that size. I was fat. I lost weight 20 years ago and became a size 10. I have stayed the same weight (apart from pregnancies) with a good diet and exercise but now my clothing is a size 6/8 so even in the last 20 years clothing sizes have changed!

I would never ever leave comment on anyone’s weight and I hate being around talk of diets/sizes etc because it takes me back to those feelings of self-loathing.

Overweight and obese people know they are overweight and obese. Comments only hurt.

I'm a 14 or a 16 depending on where i shop. BMI suggests i should lose 3 kilos. But to be honest i don't look a size 16. İ have had 4 babies in 6 years. Youngest is 1 so no I'm no model but I'm not huge and i think i look darn good considering. my friend was surprised when i said i was a 16. İ wear slightly loose clothes though as i don't like clingly fabric. My friend advised me on exercise the other day. She has one kid in school and is a stay at home mum with a DH who is a high earner. She is in the gym every day. İ nearly bit her head off because i haven't got bloody time before lock down trying to work from home with 4 DC. Needing to be home schooled too. DH out to work. And she thinks i should be doing squats whilst doing maths with the kids! Couldn't stop laughing. İn other words keep your mouth shut. İt's none of your business and they probably wouldn't appreciate it

I don't like fat and curvy being used interchangeably because one can still be healthy but one isn't. And I say this as someone who was overweight a few months ago.

I don't think I would get involved though. I'd probably have been very upset if a family member had commented on my weight even though I knew I was fat.

It is awful how overweight people in certain countries are getting though. I read that by 2030 half of us in the UK will be overweight. Especially when you consider how many millions don't have enough to eat, it makes me feel quite bad. I'm now a healthy weight although I wouldn't say slim through my own determination but I still think change needs to be on a societal level as well as individual. Theres too much shit food out there that's bad for the environment to produce and has almost no nutritional value yet its on every street corner.

I'm a 14 and definitely overweight, I'm also taller than them. 18 is definitely fat.

Don't get involved.... it's really not your place.

@BluebellForest836 referring to people as “fatties” is really Unkind and unnecessary. Perhaps In the same way if someone called you wrinkley now that your Botox has warn off. You know that already, being called names by someone else is not helpful or compassionate and frankly no one else’s business. Appearance is clearly very important to you but for a lot of people self worth is so much more than appearance

I put YANBU, because I do see your probably just concerned but I will tell you most bigger people tell you they are happy with their weight when actually they arent whilst and are desperately trying to diet, I know this as I've been there myself, it creates a false confidence on the outside. I was called fat for years and it actually made me worse, after I had my 3rd child I went from 13st to 9st, I'm 5ft3. However please dont offer advice to your relatives, it wont do any help for them or you.

It depends doesn't it?

I'm a size 18, I'm not curvy, I am fat. Very fat, actually. But I am also 5'3" and I was also fat two clothes sizes ago. The last time I could describe myself as 'curvy' I was 10 stone and a size 14.

However if you're closer to 6ft and in a loose 16, you'd look drop dead gorgeous, so y'know.

I'm sure this has been mentioned but not RTFT but you can be fat and curvy... it's the hourglass shape

I'm a size 24 but with a much smaller waist than hips or bust and I'm considered "curvy" and fat.

Its none of your business. I'm 5ft 3 and over the last 7 years I've been every size from a size 6 to a size 22. The smaller I got the more self conscious I got and I actually lost my confidence, plus I looked crap. I'm now a size 14 and I look great. So yes you can be happy when you are fat.

And right here on this thread is the epitome of why the UK is in the midst of an obesity crisis.

'Nobody's business' - sorry but yes it is.

Whilst most on this thread who are screaming 'stay out of it' possibly aren't yet plagued by the associated health issues obesity creates, it is a tidal wave waiting to happen.

Denial, blame and anger is mostly what I'm reading here but the plain facts are obesity is made everyone's business when the NHS picks up the enormous bill for treating the comorbidity creates.

My perspective comes as someone who cares
for an obese DM. Never properly addressing the problems or making a commitment to becoming healthier has now caused Type II diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, lymphedema, zero mobility, continual hospital admissions and dependant on others to do basic tasks for her.
I would suggest that managing her conditions is absolutely everyone's business but she still doesn't want to hear it. I gave up trying to discuss it years ago.

@9millioncansofbeans - I’m 30, no one is going to be calling me wrinkley 😂 and I have more resilience then to be bothered what others think of me. I do it because it makes me feel happy.