To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

Ha, at a size 16/18 I ran the great north run in 2h30 mins! I could run a mile in 9 mins and I rode horses for three hours a day! I was a damn sight fitter than my thinner friends.
What is more concerning is the fact you mention how bad their diet and general lifestyle is. But at the end of the day, there is sod all you can do about it because it isn't up to you how other people live. I do sympathise, it isn't easy to watch people you care about causing damage to themselves.

I think OP will reflect. I think some are being harsh OP is right I think she’s just not got her point over in the best way.

No-one who tries to dictate and tell someone how they should feel based on their body is right!

When I had a need for size 16 clothes, I was fat. Sorry.

@amy85 I disagree to be mean to somebody there’s absolutely no need and of course you cannot force somebody either it’s their body and choice.

However it’s all relative you can tell a family member that they are putting on weight I don’t see any harm. But I must admit how OP has written this it doesn’t sound like she is in a position to tell them.

No-one who tries to dictate and tell someone how they should feel based on their body is right

Possibly a doctor?

The girls are adults, They will name their own choices soon enough.

Well, as I mentioned earlier @GymGirl23 it's not surprising that you are frustrated with your relatives as you are battling huge weight issues of your own. So my advice is just to take a step back, focus on staying on the wagon yourself and ignore the relatives, maybe if they see you slim down more and improve your health they'll pay attention but regardless you'll be doing your mind and body many favours by stopping following negative eating patterns and jumping up and down in size so dramatically.

Wow OP you think they dont realise they are overweight?

@Leflic

No-one who tries to dictate and tell someone how they should feel based on their body is right

Possibly a doctor?

The girls are adults, They will name their own choices soon enough.

So doctor should tell you you should feel unhappy because you are fat?

[quote Sweetlikecoca]@amy85 I disagree to be mean to somebody there’s absolutely no need and of course you cannot force somebody either it’s their body and choice.

However it’s all relative you can tell a family member that they are putting on weight I don’t see any harm. But I must admit how OP has written this it doesn’t sound like she is in a position to tell them.[/quote]
But the op and others aren't just telling people they have put on weight but they are telling people how they should feel because of their body they are also saying there is no way they are happy with their body and that they obviously are unhappy and want to be thinner...it is not their place to tell people this

It’s true it’s not their place. However their does seem to be a slight delusional element here. The majority of us don’t feel happy been over weight let’s not lie. That is not to say everyone is not happy of course not.

But at 5ft4 and a size 16/18 I would hope my friend or family member told me even though I would feel hurt.

@WhatCFerylsThis so glad you posted as you are the perfect example of what I'm talking about! Someone who obviously doesn't understand anything about nutrition / weight if you actually think a size 10/12 is someone who has 'huge weight issues'! Please for your own sake educate yourself, you might learn something. I went down from a size 14 to a 10/12 four years ago and managed to keep it off. At only 5ft 2 size 14 was fat and that's the reality! I'm fine with saying that. You should take your own advice and try it yourself!

Hmm @GymGirl23 I was actually trying to be helpful but never mind. I do see where others are coming from now. And FWIW dropping one dress size, straddling the one below that and keeping it off for a few years may be well done you but it does not put you in a position to preach to others about maintaining significant weight loss. As in no matter how 'hard' you tried to go down that one dress size, nobody with a significant amount of weight to lose will ever take you seriously about the effort it takes to do what they need to do, as you've never done it. I have gone down from a size 20 to a size 8 in the past and stayed there. And because I tried so hard and struggled so much I definitely learned to be empathetic towards people who struggle with their weight. It's a shame your own 'journey' has taught you nothing. Sort out your own yo-yo dieting and leave other people's body image alone.

Also to the people on the thread hell-bent in the idea that a size 16-18 is fat () and that automatically equals bad health, follow @drjoshuawolrich on Instagram.

An actual medical professional who can explain a lot more why fat doesn't always equal unhealthy and why that's a really shitty opinion to have.

Also you've gone from creating a thread to shout out that size 16-18 is fat and then jumped later to insinuating that size 14 is also 'fat'. You seem to have no basic empathy - you can talk about your opinions to your own friends and family but casting aspersions like that on a public forum risks causing disordered eating and self loathing. You should be ashamed of yourself for having so little regard for others' mental health.

Also what the fuck with the whole "I bet everyone who is fat is desperate to be skinny but they just put on a brave face".

You do get people, like myself, who just don't give a shit about weight? If you honestly think nobody in the world is capable of being "fat" and just not giving a shit about it then more fool you.

At 5ft 4 and a size 18 is unhealthy there’s no dressing it up. It is what it is as long as your happy though. Good for you. Just because you may not have current health issues at that size you WILL be more prone to poor health.

Good for you OP. Here's the arse pats you're looking for.

No one cares.

Sorry but I’m going to go against the grain. Whilst I don’t think saying anything to them would be of any use (and just upset them without actually changing anything about their diet) we should all as a society be concerned about this. It’s all of our business because the UK has a chronic obesity crisis which is costing us all heavily in terms of NHS healthcare.
It’s a tidal wave stored up for the not so distant future- so much money is going to be required to pay for treatment for health issues directly related to obesity. Two thirds of this country are overweight or obese! People need to wake up and stop saying ‘it’s none of your business’ yes it bloody is. So much more awareness is needed and so much needs to change

@Time2change2 there's a huge argument for why you are correct. But the grain on this thread isn't that OP is wrong about her original statement, but that she is so insulting towards everybody whilst using her own body image as a measure for something people should aspire towards.

Something else that heavily affects the NHS is mental health. In the same way we need to tackle the obesity crisis, we also need to ensure that unnecessary strain isn't put on our mental health services due to insensitive people such as this deliberately shaming others to gratify their own self esteem. It's damaging and pathetic to watch.

@Time2Change2 you are spot on with that and have worded it perfectly! People will only read and hear what they want to though and then become agressive when they don't like it. This is what the NHS is up against everyday.
@WhatCFeryIsThis is typical of this by casually saying I said a size 14 was fat! I actually said a size 14 on ME was fat being as I'm only 5ft 2 but obviously on someone who's say 5ft 6 it's perfectly fine! It's not that diffucult to understand surely! Also she bizarrely accuses me of yo yo dieting when I've already explained I've been the same size for 4 years! I would say if my weight was up and down, why on earth would I lie about it? It's obviously either a reflection of herself or she seriously needs to learn to read!

None of your business!

I actually said a size 14 on ME was fat

OP, if your approach is so scientific and you're genuinely concerned about your family's health, why are clothes sizes so important in this?

Surely BMI would be a better indicator of risk if this is actually about health?

I was once a size 14-16 and at 5ft3 I was obese. I lost 4st and ended up a size 4. I was still within my normal weight (not underweight). At the moment 8 months pp I'm back to a size 8. My aim is to get back to.a size 6 as BMI and health wise that's optimal for me.