To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

[GymGirl23]

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

@borntohula

Weight is a VERY touchy subject it would seem.

Yes, it really does seem like it.

Of course it has various effects, so what we look like is one, but also our health and then ability to do certain sports.

I find Pilates harder at 9st than at 8 1/2 st.

@SkyDragon

Actually I AM happy being fat. I'm an 18. Hourglass, luckily I have a beautiful face and good hair. And I dress very well. I have no desire to be thin. And no shortage of male attention (although I'm happily married) It is not for you to project your own feelings onto other people. You'll be much happier if you focus on what makes YOU happy.

I don't think it's impossible to look quite good when overweight, but I still imagine if you could choose, you'd rather be a 12 than an 18.

Then that's just looks, there's also joints, heart, lungs, doing sports etc

Not your circus to be getting involved in. Leave them to it and concentrate on your own life

Lol it absolutely burns some people up on this thread that there are fat people with the audacity to not hate themselves. Imagine foaming at the mouth because someone told their pal on FB that they look nice. All the spiteful shit about it being pointless for fat people to bother with hair/makeup/clothes because they're FAT and these things should only be enjoyed by people who've earned them by having the decency to stay at an acceptable weight, not these disgusting blobs getting ideas above their station. Lol stay fucking mad.

There's SO many reasons and it's complicated
For me - I have just been diagnosed with hashimotos and they've put me on a teeny tiny dose of levo - I'm 5ft 10, it's going to do fuck all until they increase it. So that affects my weight

I can't exercise at all due to being covered in hives every time I do - covid has stopped the referral for Xolair I've been waiting for. When I say exercise that includes walking/swimming/yoga/anything

So I'm left with a shitty metabolism, exhausted from the thyroid and an inability to exercise with a sedentary job. I'm not going to hate myself for being a size 16

And i say my post as a size 16 5ft 8 28yr old who is losing weight and is almost a 14 again

What size are you OP?
What business is it of yours?

Yes 16-18 is fat and they probably do know it. Nothing you can do or say will change their minds if they don’t want to do anything to change things. I have severe autoimmune Hashimotos (which can cause high cholesterol and heart diseass) and PCOS and it takes hard work for me not to get fat but I do it because if I don’t take care of myself nobody else will. But others don’t have that mentality.

I don't think it's impossible to look quite good when overweight, but I still imagine if you could choose, you'd rather be a 12 than an 18

Just because you view beauty and aesthetics one way doesn’t mean the entire world agrees. Are you really so arrogant to believe that your views are universal? If she says she is happy why don’t you believe he? How bizarre (and a little sad) to care so much about how other people feel in their own bodies.

I don't think it's impossible to look quite good when overweight, but I still imagine if you could choose, you'd rather be a 12 than an 18
You can imagine all you like love but it won't make it true

it absolutely burns some people up on this thread that there are fat people with the audacity to not hate themselves

SO true!

MrsKypp And I'm telling you how I feel about MY body.
It's really weird that you would be so presumptuous as to think you know better than me, how I feel about MY body.
You seem really invested in other people's bodies.
Maybe you should focus more on your own personal happiness, like I said. It's not really mentally healthy for you to do this much projecting onto other people.

The size of other people is none of your business. Leave them alone

OP your opinion doesn't really matter but I know plenty of women, myself included, who are size 16 upwards and can run in excess of 5km with no problem.

How rude of you. Other people's bodies are not your business OP. Get it?

Of course she realises the connection between her weight and chaffing etc🙄. Give your head a wobble OP. 🤔

Crikey there are a lot of very bitter people on this thread who have made all kinds of warped accusations about me just because I'm concerned about my family members, one of whom is my God daughter and who I want to ensure has a long and healthy life. Is that so wrong? What is wrong with you to think like that? It actually says more about your own state of health both mentally and physically to use such vile language which I would never do.

The poster who said "As you will have gathered from the replies OP many of the 13 million obese Brits use Mumsnet" actually hit the nail on the head judging by the replies! Why be so defensive and then go on the attack? What does that solve?

Luckily there are some sensible posters here who can see exactly where I'm coming from especially the poster whose DH is a doctor dealing with the effects of obesity and the pressure it puts on the NHS. I've already said I have been over weight previously but did something about it through exercise and healthy eating, I'm not thin but a slim size 10/12 so it can be achieved if that's what you want. Not gloating either btw as why should I? If you want to lose weight then maybe redirect your anger into doing something positive about it besides swearing on here!

Why can't we use the word 'fat' anymore because that's what it is isn't it? I've had no problem saying it about myself in the past wheh I was overweight. I'm a realist. It's not 'big' girl or 'curvy' girl, just say it how it is and face reality then we might actually get somewhere!

Leave "The Mum" and her family alone.

I hope you don't get what you clearly want - a long thread of fat shaming criticism you can read with glee, & happily hold in your mind when you hypocritically chat and smile with this family again. Your post is nasty and judgemental, if there's any weight and health advice to be given, it shouldn't come from you. Presumably they have GP'S who will be already addressing it with them, & hopefully one day they will listen to medical advice

The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then?

Yeah, overweight women how dare they wear make-up etc, as for getting nails done too that's definitely outraged pearl-clutching territory. They should do suitable bare-faced penance on unkind "friend's" say so🙄

I think the relatives would turn on you.

Actually I think that you mean well.

It’s tricky and depends on the relationship and reason for concern.

My mum is very overweight. She is on the shielding list already and is diabetic. I’m upset and angry she isn’t doing more to get healthy. I’m very worried we will lose her if she catches this virus. She knows she’s obese but is in denial about how risky it is. She also has knee pain and walks incredibly slowly and wheezes even when sat still. She refuses to believe these symptoms are connected to her weight. It’s frustrating and frightening. I’ve yo-yo’d several times but only a stone or two, I’m not happy fat, I know how hard it is, but also how easy it can be once you find the right way for you and get into the routine. She did listen and promised to cut out the cake and biscuits. The next time I asked she hadn’t bothered to try. I can’t do anything to help so I need to shut up and keep to myself. My husband is so it, although his BMI is normal, he’s just unhealthy and I’m weak and end up giving in to his treats too, reason for yo-yoing.

There’s nothing you can say that will help.

I'm a realist. It's not 'big' girl or 'curvy' girl, just say it how it is and face reality then we might actually get somewhere!

Right on, OP - that's great straight-talking...from someone who's just smiled and nodded when their family said this and who had to ask her mum's permission to speak her own mind.

Say whatever you like to them - let us know how it goes.

"Why can't we use the word 'fat' anymore because that's what it is isn't it? I've had no problem saying it about myself in the past wheh I was overweight. I'm a realist. It's not 'big' girl or 'curvy' girl, just say it how it is and face reality then we might actually get somewhere!"

But it's not about where they want to be, it's about where you THINK they should be.

The poster who said "As you will have gathered from the replies OP many of the 13 million obese Brits use Mumsnet" actually hit the nail on the head judging by the replies! Why be so defensive and then go on the attack? What does that solve?

Size 10 with chunky thighs here I'm afraid so nope, not in my case.