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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

541 replies

GymGirl23 · 08/06/2020 17:25

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

OP posts:
Raaaa · 08/06/2020 21:53

As you can see OP it is an emotive subject.
I don't think they sound healthy I'm 5"2 and I'm was overweight at a size 14. Obesity is an issue and people like to put their head in the sand and lash out. Saying that I wouldn't say anything to them unless they come to you as it just won't go down well.

Iggi999 · 08/06/2020 21:53

You haven't hurt my feelings, you've alarmed me with your dictatorial stance. I don't remotely think I should be working with anyone to encourage weight loss, unless I'm their GP or they ask for help! I don't work to make random people stop smoking.

dobbyssoc · 08/06/2020 21:54

@MrsKypp Educate schoolchildren by having cookery classes and nutrition lessons showing how and why we shouldn't let ourselves get overweight.

^ I think Jamie Oliver had this idea. Look how far that got him...pretty sure he told children the horrors of chicken nuggets and how it would make they horrifically overweight and when they were asked if they'd eat them again they all said yes.

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 21:55

Boshmama

Sorry, I had to laugh at your reply :-) Flowers

I didn't mean we shouldn't tolerate overweight PEOPLE !!!!!

I mean we shouldn't tolerate BEING OVERWEIGHT / OBESE so easily.

We need to help everyone to keep to a healthy weight.

Bibijayne · 08/06/2020 21:55

I'm 5'2 and a 14-16. But I don't like tight fitting clothes and I'm an L cup bust. I'd like to lose a few pounds but as my doctor keeps saying, i'm not fat. I could squeeze into a 12-14. But I prefer a looser fit. I'm probably borderline fat/curvy. I go in an out at the right points, but those points could all be a bit trimmer.

Bibijayne · 08/06/2020 21:58

That is, every time I mention weight to GP etc. I'm told I'm fine.

I was pretty slim until a few years ago (mid-30s) when I had to take some meds that caused weight gain. Currently waiting for an operation to deal with some GI issues which will likely help me with losing weight.

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 21:58

Iggi

I agree with you, it's not for me to tell someone they are overweight or obese and I have NEVER done that.

What I mean is that there need to be loads of things on offer, for free, that people can do to maintain a healthy weight, so e.g. free or very cheap but fun sports, widespread access to healthy food etc

Oh yes, Jamie Oliver, can't stand him. His healthy eating thing was just a USP.

BetteDavisWeLuvU · 08/06/2020 21:59

I was going to come and say depends on the person’s height. I'm 5,5 and was a size 18 after DC I felt fat - according to NHS I was borderline obese, not just overweight.

It’s not your business to say anything though.

Doggyperson · 08/06/2020 22:00

Fat is the new thin! I have a few friends on facebook who go on about being happy in their own skin with the skimpiest clothes, of course they get "looking good babes" "gorgeous hun"
They're fat and this is why we have a growing obesity problem In this country.

I wouldn't say anything though. I used to weigh 18 stone and only I could do something about it, no words of advice off anyone else helped, it just made me feel worse.

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 22:04

@Doggyperson

^Fat is the new thin! I have a few friends on facebook who go on about being happy in their own skin with the skimpiest clothes, of course they get "looking good babes" "gorgeous hun"
They're fat and this is why we have a growing obesity problem In this country^

That's exactly what I meant!!

I don't even believe they really feel that. I bet they are desperate to be slim.

Who the hell wants to be fat? Nobody.

I think the NHS could certainly do more in a supportive way, so check people's blood for hypothyroid issues, offer nutrition classes, exercise etc

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 22:05

The italics didn't work in the quote in my last post.

this was a quote:

Fat is the new thin! I have a few friends on facebook who go on about being happy in their own skin with the skimpiest clothes, of course they get "looking good babes" "gorgeous hun"
They're fat and this is why we have a growing obesity problem In this country

Sandybval · 08/06/2020 22:06

I think the problem is that on a biological level it is as simple for the majority of people that they are overweight if they eat too much and aren't active enough. But often it's tied up to other things, be it social, mental health related, or lack of knowledge. Telling people they are fat really isn't helpful because a) they probably know, b) unless theyre in a place to accept support from you what good does it do, and c) it doesn't address the issues that lead to it. I was a size 20 and now a size 10-12 after decades of trying to lose weight. It was only when I addressed my underlying issues and learnt to respect my body that I could do it. A lot of people do seem to have lost sight of what someone who is a healthy weight looks like mind.

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 22:09

@Sandybval

Agree with you 100%.

amy85 · 08/06/2020 22:13

[quote MrsKypp]**@Doggyperson

^Fat is the new thin! I have a few friends on facebook who go on about being happy in their own skin with the skimpiest clothes, of course they get "looking good babes" "gorgeous hun"
They're fat and this is why we have a growing obesity problem In this country^

That's exactly what I meant!!

I don't even believe they really feel that. I bet they are desperate to be slim.

Who the hell wants to be fat? Nobody.

I think the NHS could certainly do more in a supportive way, so check people's blood for hypothyroid issues, offer nutrition classes, exercise etc[/quote]
Because you know better than the actual people themselves 🙄
You know it is possible to be both fat and happy and shock horror there are actually fat people who are comfortable and confident in their bodies and their main desire isn't too be thin

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 22:17

I just don't think anyone is truly happy about being fat.

It doesn't mean they can't be happy people, just not happy with their figure.

People who say they are happy about being fat are putting on a brave face.

CockCarousel · 08/06/2020 22:17

Jesus, what is the world coming to?

Flipflopsaga · 08/06/2020 22:21

Hi op, I feel that your thread is sneering at those who are overweight. I believe that you don’t honestly want to help the family you talk of. I think that the truth is that this is a stealth boast as to how fit and healthy you are and how disgusted you are in people who are overweight. In my opinion, the family that you discuss will certainly know that they are overweight as our society can be terribly cruel and I expect on a daily basis, they are told how ‘disgusting’ they are. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, for posting such tosh! I’m sorry if this comes across harshly but I believe what you have posted about is not out of genuine concern for the family, rather just a chance to prove how superior you are and how unpalatable this family you discuss are. Not acceptable.

LonginesPrime · 08/06/2020 22:25

People who say they are happy about being fat are putting on a brave face

Ok, they should all be given lie detector tests to check, then the ones who are found to be secretly unhappy should be locked up with only salad and a treadmill for company.

Can the ones who pass the lie detector be set free and left alone, though?

saffy1234 · 08/06/2020 22:26

I think it's dependent on height
I'm 5 9 and wear a 14 if lucky but mostly a 16
I'm not fat I just have big boobs and a really big bum.

NoSexPleaseWeAreInAPandemic · 08/06/2020 22:28

Have a biscuit OP Biscuit

AlanAlAl · 08/06/2020 22:28

You sound like a judgemental nob to be honest OP

SkyDragon · 08/06/2020 22:29

Actually I AM happy being fat. I'm an 18. Hourglass, luckily I have a beautiful face and good hair. And I dress very well. I have no desire to be thin. And no shortage of male attention (although I'm happily married)
It is not for you to project your own feelings onto other people.
You'll be much happier if you focus on what makes YOU happy.

borntohula · 08/06/2020 22:29

Weight is a VERY touchy subject it would seem.

Babyg1995 · 08/06/2020 22:35

Yanbu I'm a size 16 I'm ,5.7 and 14 stone I look fat I hate it and feel so unhealthy I'm 9 weeks pp and have lost 2 stone so far just want the rest gone I gained 6 yes 6 stone this pregnancy my health has been really effected carrying this weight around .

Duggeehugs82 · 08/06/2020 22:38

I am overweight the thing that is clear these people will know they r overweight they will not need telling we see it everytime we see our reflection. I see it everytime i eat something good or bad . U come across really crappy