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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a UK size 16-18 is not curvy but fat?

541 replies

GymGirl23 · 08/06/2020 17:25

Yes I know some will probably flame me for using the word fat but I'm concerned about some family members. The Mum is 5ft 4" with 3 daughters aged betwen 18 and 22 who are all a similar height. She and the eldest both take medication for High BP and the other 2 daughters are also heading that way.

The Mum said a while ago that it was 'great' they could swap clothes as they're all now a size 16-18! What bugs me is they are totally clueless about health topics and diet and the Mum has fed the girls crap diets all of their lives high in salt, fat and sugar. Even when they cook at home it's high in fat and sugar with huge portions! The worst part is she buries her head in the sand saying they're luckily not a fat family but are all just curvy girls and that it runs in the family along with High BP! The fact is they are all FAT and it's self inflicted and unfair on themselves. The girls are huge now with double chins and have no waists but hey they take great care with makeup, tan, hair and nails so that makes it OK then? Why can't they see what they're doing to themselves? My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight but I would like to help them as I know alot about nutrition and keeping fit.

Are people who are that size truly happy with how they look and feel and do they believe they're not fat but have curves instead?

OP posts:
PhoneLock · 08/06/2020 20:30

I sometimes wear a size 16 from some brands. I have very broad shoulders, I have G cup breasts and I am almost 6ft tall

To be fair, the OP did say that the subjects of her concern were only 5'4" tall.

OscarWildesCat · 08/06/2020 20:34

I thought you were unreasonable until I saw this

It seems everyone who's calling me names on here are the fat ones. What a surprise that is! Keep on kidding yourelves then

I now realise you are a bit of a bitch as well. They know, you are being self righteous and a bit smug.

Mrskeats · 08/06/2020 20:35

You know 'a lot' about nutrition Hmm
Leave them allow.

ThanksItHasPockets · 08/06/2020 20:35

My Mum says I shouldn't offer them advice as they get very offended if anyone ever suggested they were even slightly overweight

Look, we don’t know you. You might be blessed with great tact and diplomacy and be one of the few people who could broach this subject with your family and not cause great offence and hurt. Your mum does know you, however, and she clearly doesn’t think you can manage this - so listen to her.

Rumtopf · 08/06/2020 20:35

Wow OP you are RUDE.

Do not offer advice unless you are specifically asked.

Yes, people of that size may well be fat but may also be perfectly happy with their shape, size, curves and woe betide their double chin or lack of waist as you perceive it.

Fat is not the horrific thing you deem it to be. For instance I judge people who are rude, cruel and downright nasty far more harshly.

MorganKitten · 08/06/2020 20:45

I’m a 16/18 but 5’9 and you’d never know as I’m not fat, I’m curvy. If I was fat I wouldn’t be doing burlesque.

daisyjgrey · 08/06/2020 20:47

Please get a hobby. Have you tried painting by numbers?

Persiaclementine · 08/06/2020 20:47

Yes curvy is size 14, beyond that just fat

daisyjgrey · 08/06/2020 20:49

Also, my size 8 sister gets thigh chafe. She is not overweight.

BakewellGin1 · 08/06/2020 20:55

I think you come across quite bitchy tbh... However I'm a 16 and yes I am fat not curvy...

Mrskeats · 08/06/2020 20:55

*alone

Boshmama · 08/06/2020 21:05

What a repulsive post. Your mindset is the only thing that needs changing. Toxic horrible stereotypes leeching out of your post.

I don't know what's worse your faux health concern (top tip - you're not their Dr and weight isn't a reliable indicator of health) or your implication that because they are fat they shouldn't bother with hair/ nails/ tan etc. Because God forbid a fat girl makes an effort. They don't exist for you to judge them or to conform to a body type you deem acceptable.

I hope they disown you as a fat phobic arse hole and get on with their lives.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 08/06/2020 21:05

It seems everyone who's calling me names on here are the fat ones. What a surprise that is! Keep on kidding yourelves then.

I see you, OP.

'Gymgirl' my blue hiney.

Oly4 · 08/06/2020 21:06

you’re being a bitch and you know it. Keep your opinions to yourself and find something to do.
I say that as a size 10 person

maryd84 · 08/06/2020 21:17

The op must have a lot of insecurities herself if she feels the need to fat shame other people.

amy85 · 08/06/2020 21:21

And what has their weight got to do with you????

I'd rather be a size 16-18 than be as judgemental as you

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 21:35

Size 16-18 on someone 5'4" tall is very fat. That's a fact.

Curvy would be size 12, possibly 10 depending on their body shape.

I'm 5'3" and size 10 is when I feel chubbier than I should be. I have already put on 1/2 stone during this virus and am now just over 9 st, which is definitely too much for my height.

We seem to tolerate overweight too easily in the UK.

(Medical reasons are another thing, totally understand overweight / obesity from illness or medication).

PurpleDaisies · 08/06/2020 21:35

We seem to tolerate overweight too easily in the UK.

What do you suggest we do?

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 21:42

@Purpledaisies

Some ideas:

Educate schoolchildren by having cookery classes and nutrition lessons showing how and why we shouldn't let ourselves get overweight.

TV programmes

Exercise classes doing fun things

Making school sports more enjoyable. I LOVE sports now but what a nightmare at school (I have asthma which was not something the PE teachers seemed to think mattered so I got in trouble for walking in the 1 mile).

Making fun sports accessible to all

More help and encouragement in the supermarkets to eat healthily.

Positive encouragement NOT criticising because of possible comfort eating

Don't say nasty things to overweight or obese people. Don't stigmatise, but there must be support, help etc everywhere to keep weight in the healthy range

Iggi999 · 08/06/2020 21:42

Mrskypp that's a very alarming statement to make. Hmm

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 21:45

@Iggi999

Hi, which statement do you mean? - That we tolerate overweight too easily?

I think we do though. We are the fattest nation in Europe aren't we?

Japanese and Korean people are stricter and have far lower levels of overweight people.

Iggi999 · 08/06/2020 21:46

Shock you keep getting worse

CompletelyFUBAR · 08/06/2020 21:51

Nobody wants family members giving them "advice" about their weight or diet. Do them and yourself a favour and concentrate on your own failings, not theirs.

MrsKypp · 08/06/2020 21:51

Sorry, Iggi, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

I would never be mean to anyone about it, but we need to all work together to help everyone maintain a healthy weight, don't we?

(As I said before, being overweight due to illness or medication is a separate issue entirely and I am not talking about those cases).

Boshmama · 08/06/2020 21:52

@MrsKypp what do you suggest we do to fat people then? If we don't tolerate them do we shoot them? Round them up and ship them to a fat camp?

What a disgusting way to think