To ask how much childfree time you have per week?

[MermaidApocalypse]

Just got back from a day out with DC's. DP stayed home as he works Saturdays and I was going with my parents. I at least expected the hoover to be put round a bit. Nothing. His excuse was that Sunday's are his only child free time apart from when he's at work.
My understanding of most people with small children is that they rarely get any dc free time, apart from work. Who's right? Also if he insists on dc free time, then surely I should too!

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

I get after 7pm when they are in bed, but if DH isn't home I can't leave the house (baby DD too young to be left with a strange sitter).

Neither of us works weekends so we can each do activities by ourselves then but the other has to deal with both kids and tbh its family time.

Occasionally I crave a bit of child free time but then I'm reminded it feels like their baby years are flying past and it's not forever.

[Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear]

Normally the hours I am at work. Plus DH and I tend to split Sunday afternoons so we each get about two hours to ourselves. Then DS goes to bed around 8 so a couple of hours in the evening. A whole day is very rare. During the summer holidays I put DS in childcare for 1-2 days and DH and I have date days. DH takes DS to see the in laws once or twice a year without me so I get a whole weekend then. And the in laws have DS overnight for our wedding anniversary once a year.

[museumum]

I get Saturday mornings “off” and dh gets Sunday mornings. He cycles. I used to go to ParkRun but also used to lie in / slob around home if needed and dh would take dc out. Now I garden so it’s not really “child free” but dh tries to see to most of the parenting.

[Rainycloudyday]

These threads make me shudder and wonder what the actual fuck so many women are putting up with. I would genuinely divorce my DH if he tried to keep a day a week to himself and I hadn’t no childfree time

I get a few snatched minutes at home here and there while DH entertains kids, otherwise I go out for a run about three times per week. DH gets the same-it’s full on with two under three, but I’ve no doubt it will increase for both of us over the next few years as the kids get more independent and we both feel less guilty leaving the other one to cope with both.

[Rainycloudyday]

Oh and I don’t think time at work is what the Op meant!

[Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear]

Forgot to mention that we each get one lie in at the weekend. We are very fair to be honest and make sure we both get almost exactly equal child free time.

[Colom]

Do insist on it then! If that's what you want. I had basically zero child free time up until last year. It caused huge resentment in my marriage.

Now that they are two and four and less dependent/hard work I make sure I get time to myself. Right now DH has brought them for a walk before bed. Tomorrow they'll go to the CM for the day even though I'm mostly a SAHM. On weekend mornings I go for a very long walk just me and the dog. Pre-covid I planned weekends away with friends/family every couple of months. Time for myself is absolutely necessary, or everybody suffers.

[Tiredmum100]

8-10 pm every day, so 2 hours when they're in bed. I'm currently working from home so I am with them all the time. Dh is still going to work. It can be hard. My dc aren't the type to go off and play in their rooms so they will be downstairs from 6.30 am until shower bed time. Pre lock down I would go out to meet friends in the evening or out with Dh but obviously none of that is happening at the moment!

[ArthurMorgan]

Zero, I didn't get one minute from when DD was born until she was 15 months old (she's 5 now), we've just had a row because I don't consider going to Asda "me time" and he does ... he's also been in the attic doing random hobby crap all day and moaned at me because DD was on Minecraft for a while whilst I was cleaning and doing the ironing . . My reply of "if you're taking the day off, stay the fuck out of my parenting" didn't go down too well! A strike is looming I think.

[NoseyfriendNC]

Zero as I'm a single parent. I usually get the time I am at work but I am WFH at the moment which is difficult but I am enjoying not having to wake up and rush around as much in the morning.

[PennyPincher64]

I'm a single parent with no family support so I have 0 childfree hours apart from the time I spend at work or commuting. Since lockdown began we've been together all day everyday, can't even go to the toilet in peace.

[Bellesavage]

When they're asleep, which is when I also try to squeeze work in. Both like to come into the bathroom through my daily shower and anytime I'm in the loo longer than 20 seconds.

[happymummy12345]

Before all this I had 2 mornings a week when ds was at nursery. And when he was in bed in the evening. No family to have him at all. My only 'me time' was my fortnightly beauty appointment.

[Frolie]

Zero, apart from when I’m asleep. Even when I’m in the shower or on the loo, my 5 yr old will walk in. It’s exhausting, we have two children. My husband is working non stop (we own our own business) and we decided at start of lockdown, my job would be the children/ house/ homeschooling and my husband would keep the business afloat. (Before that I worked 4 days in our business) We’re both working non-stop. Tough times!

[EmeraldShamrock]

2 hours on DP's day off x 2 day's a week. None really otherwise my shower is always disrupted by someone.

[tootiredtospeak]

None at the minute normally its when we go to work. DP gets an hour when he jogs with them....its 24hrs a day currently I love then but god its hard work and we both pull our weight.

[Ilovecats23]

Lately they aren’t going to bed well at the moment (light evenings and lockdown has thrown them) so usually about 30 minutes to an hour in the evening! Even when I shower it’s usually in the day and they’re wandering/crawling around playing upstairs while I take the quickest shower known to man 😂 eldest doesn’t nap anymore either so it’s literally just after they go to bed!

[winniesanderson]

Very little. Normally when I'm at work but I'm looking after other people's children then 😂 very occasionally my dp will take them out for an hour or so and that always seems to be a good time to get on with something housework related while I've got the time to concentrate. I need to stop doing that. Don't really get evenings either as the toddler is not a fan of an early night. Normally she's asleep around 10. Do sometimes get 5 minutes while she has a nap though. But that's normally when my eldest or dp are also around. I want to be ALONE!

[changeofname890]

You are so not alone OP. My DH has this next week off. He will not even think to do any housework, I've said he can cook every night and he said he might if he feels like it. My kids are older so I do have head space now, but I've not had a moment in the house by myself since lockdown!

[dancingmama]

Me and my DH are doing our best to take it in turns at the moment. One morning each - the other person has a long leisurely morning to themselves with no housework.

The person looking after the DC does some light housework in the morning (sticking a wash on, hanging it up, emptying dishwasher etc). We turn the housework into a game with DC.

Then the other person gets up and runs the Hoover around while their coffee is brewing.

It doesn't work perfectly, and I still do more in general, but at least we both get free time every other day for a few hours. And we both chip in around the house.

Also pre lockdown if one of us was going out with friends we'd make sure the other person had time to do the same the following week.

[justanotherneighinparadise]

Zero

[PeacefulInTheDeep]

We've got 2 under 2, so very little at the moment. Especially as the youngest is on some sort of sleep strike and is taking forever to go to sleep each evening.

I get about half an hour while they're both napping in the afternoon, during which I categorically refuse to do anything but relax alone. I have the evening once DD is asleep but she's been so unsettled recently that I've been sitting in my bedroom in the dark and quiet beside her.

DH is WFH at the moment, cooks dinner, puts the toddler to bed, and tidies up while I deal with the baby. He is good at recognising that I need respite though - he took them both out for a long walk (in the rain) yesterday just to give me a break.

[bloodywhitecat]

None but I am now down to one baby, I foster and moved one toddler on to adoption last week and am waiting to see if I am needed for a second baby tomorrow. If I am I will have a newborn and a 7 month old.

[Wishforanishwishdiash]

Apart from work (and even then they are near), I run or walk for an hour a day. Running time borrowed from work or sleep.

Smallest child waked at 7am, oldest goes to bed at 1am.

I miss my commute. Who knew enough to appreciate the blissful moments between dropping kids at school and arriving at the office?

[CayrolBaaaskin]

None at the moment. It’s driving me mad as I have to work from home. Also they never sleep and insist on coming into bed with me every night.