to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

I feel for you OP - there was a thread I was on yday about this and I said I'd tweeted about the use of it, that it should be stopped - two pps then decided to have a go at me and one suggested I was a Karen for defending my relatives' hate for the use of it! I just couldn't understand why I was being told I was a Karen when all I was doing was saying we should stop using it as an insult.
🤷🏼‍♀️ most bizarre it was!

Personally I’d be glad if the ‘Karen’ type voice was erased. It describes a particular type of entitled, overbearing, snobby and bigoted woman.

But it's not about bigotry. I see it all over the place whenever a woman calls out any kind of 'laddish' or anti-social behaviour and whenever a woman dares to express disappointment in the way something has been handled by an institution. It's a way of undermining women, sowing doubt that they might in fact be a bigot. That's why it is so horrible.

It’s an insult used to depict a working class, badly highlighted, lumpy, aggressive and entitled woman. She wears tunic tops over leggings. Horrible. Sympathy OP.

'Tarquin' is used to ridicule posh people's kids/parenting.

Tarquin is also used to ridicule gay men and male hairdressers.

Plus the use of names change all the time.

Look at all the historic Fannys and Tittys and Dicks and Willys.

I mean look at them figuratively obviously. Don't go out hunting for fannies and willies, you will get into no end of trouble.

Would you consider formally changing it?
Why should she? Its her name. The problem isn't her name its the way it is used by others.

Would you like to speak to the manager about it ?

No one correlates the meme with real people...truly they don't.

You should see what Brenda is used for in Australia, tis hilarious

Personally I’d be glad if the ‘Karen’ type voice was erased. It describes a particular type of entitled, overbearing, snobby and bigoted woman.

This week I've seen it used against a woman criticising a racist post, one pointing out the lack of ppe for dentists and one asking people not to leave broken glass in parks.

It seems to have become a general term to put women down.

I hate social media with a passion, for this and many other reasons.
Best wishes to you and any other Karens out there

@Juliet2014

Oh woman up Richard “Dick” Billy “Billy No Mates” Norman “Norman No Mates” Henry “Hooray Henry” ie a posh toff

The list is endless

This misses the point that Billy, Norman and Henry are meaningless without descriptors. No one describes someone as "a Billy" or "a Norman" - the name itself is not being used as an insult.

"Dick" I agree is insulting without any additions, but 'Richard' isn't an insult in any context.

My sister is named Karen. She's bloody wonderful.

You're not wrong, OP, it's sexist, classist, and fucking ridiculous.

Take heart in the fact that only utter bellends would use it as a shorthand for absolutely anything.

I bet all of the Sharons and Traceys are delighted Karen is the new name in town!

Yep! I was so happy when Birds of a Sodding Feather finished!

@Apple1029

you are coming across as a real Karen now.

That's ok, as I long as I am not coming across like you do I'm fine with it

Not one person (as far as I can see) has said the OP should change her name, they've simply suggested she might want to think about it.

Let's be practical here. The OP has 2 choices if she really can't cope with this.

Change the world or change her name.

It's sexist to use the name Karen in a derogatory way.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/may/13/karen-meme-what-does-it-mean

@Tellmetruth4

I bet all of the Sharons and Traceys are delighted Karen is the new name in town!

No, we’re really not.

I'm sorry that you're upset about it OP, I can understand how if you're already feeling bad, this would get to you.

Things take hold so quickly on social media and at the moment the people using it are thinking they're 'on trend'. I am sure it will die out soon enough and be replaced by something else.

@WorraLiberty

Not one person (as far as I can see) has said the OP should change her name, they've simply suggested she might want to think about it.

Let's be practical here. The OP has 2 choices if she really can't cope with this.

Change the world or change her name.

Yet other people who find a word offensive are entitled to feel that way, and demand that the word is no longer used?

MN double standards yet again.

Yanbu OP, I would be deeply unhappy if my name was Karen too and I sympathise. And what really enrages me is that the people who use it don't give a thought to how prejudiced and misogynynistic it is. Or don't care. Either way, it diminishes them.

Have I missed something? What is wrong with the name Karen?

I hate it. Just another tool used by misogynists to silence and stereotype middle aged women.

I’m really sorry OP. I find the references to your name incredibly mysogynistic and rude. Plenty of lovely people have your name and it’s vile the way people are using it as derogatory. This does t happen with men’s names I notice.
I wonder how the people who think it’s no big deal would feel if THEIR name was used to insult others.

Yet other people who find a word offensive are entitled to feel that way, and demand that the word is no longer used?

No, they are in exactly the same position as the OP, they can try to change the world (impossible) or try to change their response to it. Luckily the OP could have a solution in changing it or she needs to change her mindset. Those of us who face those other words regularly only have the choice of changing our mindset.

I'm with you OP, I cringe when people use it, especially when someone has said they have anxiety and depression and then they are told, "yeap. your're a karen karen".
I've only really seen it used online,I know one person who gets excited about memes and talks about them and that's my friends 15 year old son.
It will pass,my name was used like that years ago and I hated it.Then I met people from a different country and it's one of the most popular names for babies.

Those of us who face those other words regularly only have the choice of changing our mindset.

You're missing the point that the term 'Karen' is used as an insult towards middle-aged women generally - we cannot change the fact that we are middle-aged women. I am not called Karen, but I find the term offensive because it's used to erase the voices of women like me.