to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

"Yes this. I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall here- there ARE no memes for willow or Reginald, as this poster points out. THAT is the issue, why is that?"

Maybe because people in the service industry experience more Karens than Willows or Reginslds in any given day?

You could ask someone who uses the meme what their motive was? I don't know anyone in rl. On an anonymous forum people would have no reason to lie and it would save you from making assumptions about them.

I know why- it’s mysogyny.
People aren’t deliberately lying- they just don’t want to admit to themselves they are participating in something so unpleasant. Cognitive dissonance is very powerful.

For anyone wondering the male equivalent is kyle. Meaning a fuck boy.
I hate how Karen is used.

@smudgebutt I have never heard of this either. Mystified. And I don't live under a rock.

@rawlikesushi

"You are judging woman called Karen because of this meme and that's the problem with it."

Nobody is judging all Karens and assuming they are like the meme. If that is your concern I really think you can rest easy.

Yet it has happened several times on this thread. Perhaps subconsciously but that doesn't make it acceptable, if anything it makes it worse.

rawlikesushi (and anyone else justifying the use of Karen memes)

Do you think it’s acceptable to share this meme? I saw it on shared on Facebook by a white man

I can’t get the picture to attach for some reason. It reads “Karen! I will rip your face off, Cunt!”

It reads “Karen! I will rip your face off, Cunt!

I would immediately unfriend any man who posted that- thats absolutely vile, and its threatening aswell.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

I did that immediately. The sad thing is, people were replying with the laughing emoji, including women who call themselves feminists. This is the kind of stuff I’m seeing more frequently, and as someone called Karen, it fucking hurts.

No, I've never seen or used that meme (or any other meme actually). I'd unfriend anyone who used it.

I'm really sorry bee222 - thats horrible.

Hopefully this stupid meme will disappear soon. Thats the only good thing about social media- its very reliant on trends and trends come and go all the time.

‘Whereas if you work in the service industry and have had your shift spoilt by a succession of Karens, maybe the only recourse available to you is a joke with like-minded friends and colleagues who have experienced similar.’

I work in retail for one of the big companies. We don’t refer to customers as Karens, not because customers aren’t awful. We complain about customers all the time but referring to people as Karen just isn’t a thing at work.

My employer did put up posts explaining what the Social distancing rules would be in our stores and how staff would be making sure customers followed them.

This led to many men leaving angry comments about how employees who tried to get people to social distance were Karens, shut up Karen, you’re not the police Karen, fuck off Karen and on and on.

Before that I hadn’t seen the Karen thing. Now I see it as something men say to women to try and stop them having authority or boundaries. I am finding many male customers are very angry that my physical boundary is now 2 metres.

I am finding many male customers are very angry that my physical boundary is now 2 metres.

How dare a mere woman have a boundary from a man who should be allowed to get as close as he likes. That's what they are objecting to.

This thread is very interesting. I think it’s abundantly clear that no matter where this meme originated from or what it’s original purpose was, it is no longer being used for that purpose (in UK at least- I can’t speak for other countries as I don’t live there) and has been adopted by white men specifically, as a way to put women in their place. It reeks of mysogyny. For this reason it needs to end because it is achieving nothing except perpetuating vile insults towards women by white men.

Yes - it's all very well making those pesky middle-aged women invisible, but if they will persist in speaking, how are the men expected to ignore them?

Maybe those men would like a return to the days of a scold's bridle.

But the Karen meme is not a woman expressing an opinion. It is a woman rudely expressing an offensive opinion, and/or trying to garner privilege for herself.

You say this, yet on this very thread the OP has been told she is “a Karen” for having the temerity to have an opinion. All she wants is for other posters to acknowledge it’s OK to be pissed off that her name is used as an insult.

Other posters have pointed out that it’s an ageist and misogynistic slur, used against women with opinions. You personally may not use it as such but it’s widely used in this way. It’s divisive and cruel.

" It is a woman rudely expressing an offensive opinion, and/or trying to garner privilege for herself."

In the memes I've seen, Karen is asking to 'see the manager' basically just standing up for herself when she gets bad service.

This is truely awful op, I hope people put themselves in your shoes and don't ever use this name as a joke. All of our names could become something of an insult once first one started, we need to stop feeding it.

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/apr/13/the-karen-meme-is-everywhere-and-it-has-become-mired-in-sexism

It’s a really unpleasant meme and sorry that it’s having an impact on you.

Another article here:

medium.com/@thisveganfeminist/get-back-in-your-box-karen-bd0c9d4c833e

Titty was a real person, she changed her name from whatever she was born as. Her family were unhappy that the BBC changed her name from Titty to something else in the tv adaptation.

The real little girl's name was Mavis. The name 'Titty' was an affectionate abbreviation of Titty Mouse. (Tatty was the other mouse from that story, but IMO that sounds worse. It carries connotations of scruffy)!

On the other hand, the Dicks and Fannys of Ransome's contemporary Enid Blyton became Ricks and Frannies aeons ago - at least in the Faraway Tree.

I love the name Karen. I hate the often misogynistic way it has been used recently.

Without dismissing your right to be upset, you are overthinking for sure. People don’t write off everyone named Karen, it’s just shorthand. I wouldn’t immediately think of the Karen archetype if I met a woman of that name; fact that it has become a catch all phrase for that ‘type’ of person is no judgment on you, so don’t think that people assume anything about you based on your name.

As a side note, when I worked retail there were 2 customers who would consistently cause trouble, complain, demand discounts and ask to see the manager. They were both called Karen...

Your 2nd paragraph negates your 1st paragraph somewhat!