to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

I'm with you. Karen has taken off in far bigger a way than any of the others being cited here and is specifically used to shut down and/or ridicule women of a certain age.

Ageist misogyny, pure and simple.

How can your name be your identity?

Names are chosen randomly (ish) by our parents when you have no personality to depict. The name doesn't define who you are at all, it's just a label. Obviously they are class and cultural and sex signifiers, but it's not your identity unless of course you're Katie Price calling yourself Jordan.

‘Cheers, Kev’ was a way of basically saying ‘shut the fuck up, you boring sod’ around here for a while 😂

@LadyFeliciaMontague

Op I read the ‘grow up’ comment as a response to Plsgivemefer awful comment.

Then apologies to the PP who said 'grow up' I am oversensitive, having a bit of a shit day regardless of my name.

How do class and culture not contribute to your identity?

I agree it's sexist af and I feel really sorry for my lovely, spirited, left wing and intelligent Karen friend atm.

‘Cheers, Kev’ was a way of basically saying ‘shut the fuck up, you boring sod’ around here for a while 😂

Was different here, if you put big fat exhausts or fat wheels onyour car, you were deemed to have "Kev'd it up"

You could change it to Fanny.

Me and dh use the name "Rupert" as a general term for posh blokes

@tohatemyname

whether it's wearing glasses, having freckles, being red-haired, being tall/short, plump or skinny that society will pick on.

See that wouldn't bother me (even though I am short, have freckles, am plump, red-haired and wear glasses - do you know me?!) but a name is so personal, it's your identity isn't it?

Ha, no, I don't think I know you! I wish I did though, you sound ace.

My name isn't my identity though. I get called different varients of it depending on who is speaking, rarely does the 'normal' name get used (except at work, where it's on my name badge, so that's understandable)!

Fuck off

Yep. You're a Karen Karen.

Sharon and Tracey and Debbie had it for years!

@Moonmelodies

You could change it to Fanny.

Out of the frying pan......I'll pass thanks.

‘Misogynist way of erasing female voices, particularly middle-aged female voices.’

Personally I’d be glad if the ‘Karen’ type voice was erased. It describes a particular type of entitled, overbearing, snobby and bigoted woman. Of course nobody believes every person in real life called Karen is awful and everybody knows most middle-aged women aren’t ‘Karen’s’. You may get the odd idiot teen snigger if they hear your name just like people did with Sharon, Tracey, Roger etc but it’s not that big of a deal. It’s not like you’re going to be discriminated against for being called Karen. By this time next year everyone will have forgotten about ‘Karen’.

but a name is so personal, it's your identity isn't it?

No it isn’t. It’s simply something people can use so you know they are speaking to you.

If a name is an identity, why do so many change their surname when they get married and yet not lose their identity?

My name is one people can joke about. I can’t get worked up about it otherwise I’d have spent my entire life being annoyed about it. As is was, I got over it when I grew up.

Plsgivemeref and Glitteryone

Did you miss the bit where the OP said that she was suffering with low self esteem after years of abuse, depression and anxiety?

Is this how you respond to people who are struggling in real life?

But again, it's not as bad being referred to as posh, especially in the UK, it suggests you have some influence in the world.

Time to step away from Mumsnet hen?

Or pronounce your name Kaaar-en

Sharon
Tracy
John
Dave
Bob and Barbara

They've all had it, although Dick and Fanny have probably had it worse.

I feel for you OP but Karen will be replaced by something else too.

@PhilCornwall1 poor Kevs nationwide

Oh woman up
Richard “Dick”
Billy “Billy No Mates”
Norman “Norman No Mates”
Henry “Hooray Henry” ie a posh toff

The list is endless

*Soon

I do think you have certain pre-conceptions from a name, even user names from this forum.

@Bettysprocker

Karen, Susan, Wendy... I don't take it personally.

I do. I find it despicable and deeply offensive. And yes, one of those is my name.