to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

"I've only heard the use of names such as Karen on mumsnet. Not on my social media and not in real life. I don't think it's as universal as you imagine."

It's really big on Twitter, more so than on MN.

The people who should be publicly shamed and shown up for precisely the prejudicial attitudes they're upholding are those who buy into this misogynistic BS that's consistently used as a means of silencing and denigrating women

Totally agree. Anyone using that name as an insult needs to really self reflect on their motivations and the effects their words are having on others. Its not funny or clever. Its pathetic.

I would say that the people that use it to deride people often seem to be the most unimaginative and boring. My young teenage son has picked up on it but I have discouraged it for the reasons I just mentioned.

QuoteAndNoneForGretchenWieners

Yes, sorry I didn't mean OP that you it'll pass and that's it, I was just telling you about my experience with my name.
Hope you can see from the thread that not everyone agrees with the Karen meme and how it is used.

Sorry that your counselling has been cancelled OP

If it doesn't apply let it fly.

Titty was never a name

Arthur Ransome would beg to differ.

As for Stacey Solomon she can have a cat

It's only Karen that I've noticed any backlash to on Mumsnet

AFAICR its also the only nickname which was coined by black people specifically to challenge racist abuse of privilege by white MC and largely "liberal" women. The term's appropriation by white men and others in the UK as lazy misogyny doesn't change that origin.

What a surprise that the one term targeting racism by white MC women gets outrage on MN.

Most of the other nicknames bandied about here are shorthand sneers at working class and/or black women and are excused and accepted. Just look at the babynames threads if in doubt.

If it's Karen, that shit is sexist nonsense, and I hate seeing women using it against other women.

It's a perfectly lovely name. Don't change it.

Maybe research some famous women who share your name.

Karen seems to be about two types of person depending on which side of the Atlantic you live. The name Karen doesn’t even really fit the personality descriptors over here. I think there is a demographic that is female, opinionated without thought , has Live Laugh Love in their overly cleaned house and will complain about anything because they can.I’d say Samantha was a better fit myself.

The male version would be David Brent. Ricky obviously chose “David” because Dave is already there as a bit of a loser.

Brian is a middle aged creep or perve. I don’t think there’s a female equivalent to that is there?

Most other 'names' used as insults are just that, insults. Unkind and mean. But the Karen meme isn't 'just' an insult, it is being used to silence the voice of an entire demographic. Other insult-memes are to make the person feel bad and the insulter feels superior. The Karen-meme says '"Shut the fuck up 'middle aged women', no one wants to hear you". That's why it's different to 'Hooray Henry' or 'Shazza'.

The middle aged female vote (and voice) is a very important demographic in the US in this upcoming election. Of course they want to silence us.

@Leflic

Karen seems to be about two types of person depending on which side of the Atlantic you live. The name Karen doesn’t even really fit the personality descriptors over here. I think there is a demographic that is female, opinionated without thought , has Live Laugh Love in their overly cleaned house and will complain about anything because they can.I’d say Samantha was a better fit myself.

The male version would be David Brent. Ricky obviously chose “David” because Dave is already there as a bit of a loser.

Brian is a middle aged creep or perve. I don’t think there’s a female equivalent to that is there?

It's not about which name is a better fit though. No name should be used for this kind of vile shit.

But the Karen meme isn't 'just' an insult, it is being used to silence the voice of an entire demographic. Other insult-memes are to make the person feel bad and the insulter feels superior. The Karen-meme says '"Shut the fuck up 'middle aged women', no one wants to hear you". That's why it's different to 'Hooray Henry' or 'Shazza

Spot on. Exactly this.

@Russellbrandshair

I'm with you OP, I cringe when people use it

Me too and I actually think it says a lot more about the person who uses it than anyone named Karen. It makes them look like an unkind idiot.

Yes, it totally makes them look like idiots.

The people who have come on here to say it's fine and using it to insult the OP clearly don't give a shit about others.

I've been accused of being a Karen myself on Mumsnet - when I objected to other people on the thread using it as an insult.

People are weirdly blind to their own prejudice.

The Karen-meme says '"Shut the fuck up 'middle aged women', no one wants to hear you".

That's the most unacceptable part of it, that there is no expectation of what you say being of any value or acceptable.

^Willy’s and Dicks can use other abbreviations for their names.

Unless their actual names are Dick and Willy.^

Dick as an actual name would have been extremely rare, while Willie had gone out of fashion by 1900.

I’m sorry, can someone enlighten me on the Karen situation ? I have friends with that name, none have mentioned anything.

This thread has made me realise that I have never once (until now) made the connection between the 'Karen' jokes and the lovely lady Karen who I work with every day. Hopefully the majority of people who know and will meet you are the same!

it is being used to silence the voice of an entire demographic

In exactly the same way that Sharon, Wendy, Tracey, LaKeisha, Shoniqua etc have been used except they target mainly WC women and were not coined to call out specifically racist abuse of privilege.

Trying to recall the threads of outrage and whataboutery here on any of the other names used in this way. As people have said - these nicknames go in and out of fashion, I don't particularly like them but I find it fascinating that the one calling out racist behaviour is the one which should be banned.

Tbf I think hardly anyone on here knows about the link to racism? That’s not the context I’ve ever seen it in

@Pelleas

Misogynist way of erasing female voices, particularly middle-aged female voices.

Totally agree with this.

There are a few names like this - Karen, Simple Simon, Tim-nice-but-dim, Wendy, etc. I always think it’s a shame for the people who have those names, but I think it’s hard to change the perception.

^Titty was never a name

Arthur Ransome would beg to differ.^

Lol, OP. She was a fictional character, so I’m assuming a nickname. Can’t say I’ve ever heard of a Titty in real life!

@SinglePringle

It’s an insult used to depict a working class, badly highlighted, lumpy, aggressive and entitled woman. She wears tunic tops over leggings. Horrible. Sympathy OP.

Tunic tops worn over leggings are horrible? Really?

Wendying originated on Mumsnet and I haven't heard of it used anywhere else. And when posters named Wendy started threads saying they wished there name wasn't used in this way they got plenty of support and understanding.