to hate what my name has become

[tohatemyname]

I have a name which is ridiculed a lot in society and is frequently used as an insult. I already have low self esteem after years of abuse and depression and anxiety as a result. MN and other social media was my respite from all the emotional fallout of the abuse.
On MN now my name is used as an insult and thrown around casually like it doesn't matter.
It fucking does matter. My one safe place to escape my feelings has been pulled from under my feet.

Yet again it is always a women’s name. Either stereotyped as an upper class bitch or a lower class slag.

Yes it's always a woman's name. As a mum of 2 DDs of 11 and 8, it makes me really sad.

Misogyny again behind the 'Sharon' stereotype. Just as the misogynists can't handle a middle-aged woman expressing an opinion, they can't handle a woman behaving in a way they perceive as unfeminine:

she sleeps around, smokes, swears, drinks lager, doesn’t work and is blonde.

And why shouldn't a woman do/be those things if she wants to? (Clearly, wanting to has absolutely nothing to do with what your name is). No, a woman must be chaste and speak politely. She can only drink nice feminine drinks such as white wine. Her hair colour must be modest and discreet. She mustn't smoke because that's a man thing. If she doesn't work it's because she's lazy, not because she's looking after her family or unable to find a job.

Over on the Babyname section my name pops up on every single “what would you not call your DD? thread.

It’s not pleasant but people have opinions and it tells you all you need to know about them.

They’re judging the name....not you as a person.

NC for this - you really need to stop taking things like this personally - I am called Karen, my husband is Kevin and my best friend is Sharon - if this kind of thing really is close to pushing you over the edge you need to get help urgently. At no point have I ever hated my name, and memes and the like won't suddenly make me. I find it totally ridiculous that people are saying ' it's outrageous and I feel your pain' WTF?

Classic car the karen memes are not judging the name karen. They are judging white, middle aged, women.

Karen is just the name they have given them as it is a name that fits what they see as the demographic.

Pelleas a woman can be or do any of those things if she wants to. But my mum doesn’t and isn’t. And she has experienced people thinking these things about her only based on her name being Sharon. It is really awful.

Oh, yes, I see that WellTidy - I didn't mean your mum should be comfortable with having those character traits ascribed to her name. What I am saying is that the Sharon stereotype is rooted in misogyny because people object to the behaviour traits that are lazily and inaccurately attached to the name Sharon, but that objection in itself is unfounded.

It’ll pass

Chill out Karen

Completely Pelleas it is rooted in misogyny and is lazy and unfounded. There isn’t a male equivalent.

My sister is called Karen but not a single person associates it with the ‘meme’.

People use the name in the meme, but when they meet a Karen in real life, it really doesn’t occur to them to associate that person with the ‘can I speak to the manager’ joke.

Funny though, I don't associate people I know called with the Karen meme, I hadn't linked the two until reading this thread.

I think it's quite an American meme that mainly exists on Twitter, not really in the real world.

I have a friend called Karen, she's intelligent, funny and warm. I imagine if I asked her if she cared she just roll her eyes and shrug and then we'd move on.

Well how about making some memes with Asian men and calling them all Gupta or the same with black men and calling them Kwame.

After all it is only a name and no associated with a real Gupta or Kwame.

It's good that people don't associate their friends with the meme but unfortunately, it doesn't stop the meme existing. We might not personally harbour discriminatory feelings against anyone, but sadly it doesn't mean that discrimination doesn't exist.

@thefairyfellersmasterstroke
I agree with your partner 100%.
In fact women like that (I recall very few men ever acting up like that) are the reason I left retail.
When you are treated like absolute shit day in day out especially by a particular type of person, you start to find memes like that ring true.
I think I said on another thread, the people that treated me the worst were like clones of each other. The original meme was accurate in appearance at least.

Proudboomer and Pelleas
I agree with both of you.

Just another way to shut women up.

I agree, fellow retail worker. The original memes were very similar to my own experience. And I never had an irate male customer.

Maybe male customers are treated better in the first place ?

I've seen plenty of irate male customers in my time as a shopper and have also seen 'irate' (read, violent) males in other situations as well including medical centres, taxis and government offices. I've seen them bully and harass the mainly female staff in many of these environments.

Why don't we have a meme for them?

Why don't we have a meme for them

Exactly my point. My friend drives a taxi and was recently racially threatened by a drunk male customer who threatened to smash his face in with a rock because he didn’t want to pay the fare. He then vomited all over the seats and he had to call the police. But sure, Karen is the WORST anyone can ever encounter! eye roll

@Proudboomer

I didn’t realise....which maybe is a positive because in a way, it confirms that not everyone is aware of this?

"Just as the misogynists can't handle a middle-aged woman expressing an opinion.."

But the Karen meme is not a woman expressing an opinion. It is a woman rudely expressing an offensive opinion, and/or trying to garner privilege for herself.

Don't bestow victimhood on her, because she's a terrible person.

Why should she be called Karen though a word that's not a proper noun could be used? You are judging woman called Karen because of this meme and that's the problem with it.

The point is- men can be 10000 times worse yet we don’t have a meme for them. Think about why that is. Men commit most violent crimes and sexual assaults yet the only meme we have is for a woman.
Doesn’t that strike you as rather odd?