Not invited..aibu to be hurt?

[hammy345]

Il shorten this as much as possible.
Also name changed as my other threads have too much personal info.
Last year my good friend (or so I thought ) introduced me to her friend.(gay and I'm bisexual )
We got on well but she's a player.
Now we all start going out together and I start sleeping with her and going out for food etc.
My friend got jealous of me joining the group so cut me off and the invites with them stopped.
Me and this girl continued to text daily for 10 months.
Tonight she's having a party (ex friend will be there ) and she's texting me showing me (lights,DJ machine ) etc she's bought.
I'm not invited
I feel hurt
I'm good enough to text every day
All day..but not good enough to be invited.
I had a little cry because I have feelings for her.
If she really wanted she could say to her friend (my ex friend ) she's invited me and deal with it.
I'm just hurt
I feel not good enough
At one point I thought me and her were becoming a thing.

Do you think if she was into me she would have got with me a year ago ?

I remember your last few threads. You were given a lot of good advice on the first one and most people agreed that this woman was just not that into you. She definitely valued her friendship with mutual friend more than a relationship with you. She also admitted that she only saw you as a fwb and had no feelings for you. I’m shocked that a year down the line, you don’t seem to have progressed.

Honestly, it’s horrible having feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same way. I know, I’ve been there. It’s awful. At the same time, you have to take steps yourself to remove yourself from the situation. Chasing after her makes you look desperate and I’m betting she’s loving all the attention.

Aside from that, she is allowed to hang out with her friends. I’m not sure why you’re so disappointed she hasn’t chosen your side when she has repeatedly chosen her friend over you. This can’t come as a shock to you, given her last behaviour.

Honestly, for your own mental health, you need to step away from all of them. Block on phone and social media and just get on with your life. She will never be the one for you.

Do you think if she was into me she would have got with me a year ago ?

I think, for the 3rd or 4th time, you should talk to her. It's as if you are sitting waiting for her to 'get with you' that's not how relationships develop. Both parties need to discuss. Talk. Communicate.

@GruffBelow since the last thread,she asked me on a date.
We went out and had a good time then a day later she slept with a random.
It was just getting confusing.

since the last thread,she asked me on a date.
We went out and had a good time then a day later she slept with a random.

Admittedly I haven't seen the last thread. However, this? Why are you even wanting to get into a relationship with her

OP you keep posting about this but never seem to listen to advice

I listen to advice then I think she's changed and get drawn back in.
She won't change
This won't change
I have to change it by moving on
Trying not to hope she will realise she made a mistake.

But op you had issues with her spending time with her friends without you full stop, even before the fall out with ex friend. You are possessive and she's told you very clearly she doesn't want a relationship.

I just know if the roles were reversed I would never have done the same.
I would never have not included her.
If my ex friend had did that to her I would have told her where to go

Unless I've misread the op, you said that your ex friend introduced you to this fwb and the 2 of you started seeing each other, going out for meals etc. So it seems as though you did exclude your friend and although you may have seen it more like dating (and therefore wouldn't typically include third parties) it seems as though the fwb was pretty clear from you from the outset that she wasn't into anything serious and you knew from.the beginning that she slept around. So from your ex-friend's point of view, she introduced you to a friend, and then you and fwb then met separately and didn't include her. I'm not saying her behaviour is right or rational, but you can't claim you wouldn't have excluded her if the situation had been reversed.

I think it really would be best to move on from this woman. She appears to have told you time and time again that she wants a casual relationship but you want more than she is prepard to give.

I think it's unkind to send you pictures of the party you're not invited to, but again, she is telling you here that she considers ex friend more important.

@BilboBercow I really didn't.
It was after the mutual friend stirred the pot.
This girl is very social and before lockdown was out with lots of different friends.
I go out with my friends
That was honestly never a issue
The issue was she couldn't see how manipulative mutual friend was.

@LockdownMayhem the mutual friend hated me being there in the big groups.
She told me I didn't belong there as I wasn't part of the group.
That's when she started telling this girl lies to put her off me (very 15 year old behaviour)

The issue was she couldn't see how manipulative mutual friend was.

It's really not though, is it? The issue is she doesn't want to go out with you. Face that and move on.

@curtainsforme she messed with me,dates then sleeping around.
It was confusing

It's not confusing at all. She isn't into serious stuff and you don't seem to be able to instigate a conversation.

You've posted about this So. Many. Times. When are you going to give up on this?

@ibblebibbledibble

A party? At the moment? 🤔

I’ve read this op before. Getting Déjà vu now.

X post with pretty much everyone!!!

It's your birthday tomorrow.
They are having a party .

As a birthday present to yourself , put on Celo Green "Forget You" ( uncut version) and delete their numbers from your phone. ( Ex Friend and EX FWB)

If you want send a text to each to say "Don'r bother me again"
Then press delete

Block on Social Media
And breathe.

HappyBirthday to yourself . Give yourself the lifelong gift of Self Respect and a Backbone

You’ve said so much good advice over so many threads.

I don’t say this lightly or goady, please consider seeing a therapist to help yourself now and in the future. You’d get so much help from being helped with this.

Good luck

you’ve had so much good advice even

Oh for an edit button like all other forums!

I'm bowing out.

You aren't listening to - or engaging with - any of the advice that you are being given on this thread.

Instead you seem to want an audience to sit and listen to you forensically analyse every tiny detail of what this woman has said and done, and how it's made you feel. On thread, after thread.

I'm out.

It sounds like she enjoys stringing you along and playing games.

Statements like:
"Il never settle down"
"Il sleep with anything"
Reveal a troubled personality.

Comments like:
“I tell you all not to develop feelings for me,you all go and do it"
Are designed to excuse her from taking any responsibility for how she treats girlfriends.

She has shown you who she is. Walk away, infact - run.

What you want is for this woman to commit to you and stop shagging other people and to make it clear that she has chosen you over her longtime friendship group. She will change from a bad lass to your devoted partner.

This is not going to happen and she has made that pretty clear.

You've romanticised the falling out with your former friend by convincing yourself that she fancies the woman too and that she's engineered this falling out with you to keep you and woman apart. Like in a Mills and Boon.

If you aren't careful you are going to waste your life mooning after this woman when she's been incredibly clear that she doesn't want what you want.

She won’t realise she’s made a mistake. She hasn’t made a mistake, she is living her life as she wants to. She says so explicity.
You would be making a mistake to get involved with her.
Stop mooning over her.

While you are obsessing over her and how things could be if she felt the same about you, you are stopping yourself from being open to meeting someone who can treat you well and make you happy.
Or from just being happy as a single woman.