Not invited..aibu to be hurt?

[hammy345]

Il shorten this as much as possible.
Also name changed as my other threads have too much personal info.
Last year my good friend (or so I thought ) introduced me to her friend.(gay and I'm bisexual )
We got on well but she's a player.
Now we all start going out together and I start sleeping with her and going out for food etc.
My friend got jealous of me joining the group so cut me off and the invites with them stopped.
Me and this girl continued to text daily for 10 months.
Tonight she's having a party (ex friend will be there ) and she's texting me showing me (lights,DJ machine ) etc she's bought.
I'm not invited
I feel hurt
I'm good enough to text every day
All day..but not good enough to be invited.
I had a little cry because I have feelings for her.
If she really wanted she could say to her friend (my ex friend ) she's invited me and deal with it.
I'm just hurt
I feel not good enough
At one point I thought me and her were becoming a thing.

[ChocolateQuiltedShitPig]

I haven't RTFT but I don't see the issue. She rightly values her friendship more than a FWB situation.

Why would she want to invite you and risk animosity. You aren't dating.

[ddl1]

She shouldn't be having a party at all!

[MouthBreathingRage]

I'm gonna move on,

Move on from this teenage nonsense, or move on to the next thread about it. If the former, best of luck.

[hammy345]

It's correct tho,you can't make someone want to invite you.
They either do or they don't
She didn't
That's it really
I'm gonna move on,think I deserve someone who wants to see me.

[sonjadog]

It sounds like she told you clearly who she is and what she can offer you. Try to accept that at face value and not wishful think what you would like to hear into her words.

[GruffBelow]

Honestly op, please just listen and stop all this. Your previous threads have gone the same way. People have given you lots of good advice, you ignore it, keeps repeating yourself until posters get sick of it and stop posting. You then post again a few weeks/months later going on about the same thing. I remember several threads you have posted about this same topic.

Please, get some help. You need to talk to a professional because this is verging on obsession. Who cares about the date. It is very obvious from the many threads that she is not that into you. Have some respect for yourself, get some help and move on with your life.

[hammy345]

She is living her life how she wants.
I know that
I think because I'm the total opposite of her,I couldn't understand how she wanted to sleep with randoms /get off her face rather than be settled down.
I guess in 40 years If she hasn't changed
She ain't gonna start now

[Thingsdogetbetter]

I don't think it's confusing at all. This woman has told you she's not into having a gf, and you will only ever be a FWB. You refuse to listen and hunt for clues this might chsnge.

She continues to interact with you as a FWB (albeit with lots of texting - so the friendship side is close at least). Unfortunately, you are grasping at straws and reading more into normal FWB interactions because you so desperately want there to be more. But you can't create a relationship from your wants or hopes.

FWB can go on lovely dates. They can be great at keeping in contact. They can have deep conversations. That's all possible in a purely fwb situation. It does not mean it's developing into more. It's been a year, she's still being clear she doesn't want you as a gf, and your still refusing to listen.

The ex friend situation is almost a red herring. You think her dumping ex friend would be a sign she wants more. That's why you're giving it so much head space. But even if she sees through ex friend and ditches her and 'chooses' you, she'll still be choosing you as a fwb, NOT as a potential gf.

Let her go. You cannot wish a relationship into reality. No one has that power.

[Samtsirch]

While you are obsessing over her and how things could be if she felt the same about you, you are stopping yourself from being open to meeting someone who can treat you well and make you happy.
Or from just being happy as a single woman.

[pictish]

She won’t realise she’s made a mistake. She hasn’t made a mistake, she is living her life as she wants to. She says so explicity.
You would be making a mistake to get involved with her.
Stop mooning over her.

[HouseOfEdwards]

What you want is for this woman to commit to you and stop shagging other people and to make it clear that she has chosen you over her longtime friendship group. She will change from a bad lass to your devoted partner.

This is not going to happen and she has made that pretty clear.

You've romanticised the falling out with your former friend by convincing yourself that she fancies the woman too and that she's engineered this falling out with you to keep you and woman apart. Like in a Mills and Boon.

If you aren't careful you are going to waste your life mooning after this woman when she's been incredibly clear that she doesn't want what you want.

[LumaLou]

It sounds like she enjoys stringing you along and playing games.

Statements like:
"Il never settle down"
"Il sleep with anything"
Reveal a troubled personality.

Comments like:
“I tell you all not to develop feelings for me,you all go and do it"
Are designed to excuse her from taking any responsibility for how she treats girlfriends.

She has shown you who she is. Walk away, infact - run.

[Tappering]

I'm bowing out.

You aren't listening to - or engaging with - any of the advice that you are being given on this thread.

Instead you seem to want an audience to sit and listen to you forensically analyse every tiny detail of what this woman has said and done, and how it's made you feel. On thread, after thread.

I'm out.

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

you’ve had so much good advice even

Oh for an edit button like all other forums!

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

You’ve said so much good advice over so many threads.

I don’t say this lightly or goady, please consider seeing a therapist to help yourself now and in the future. You’d get so much help from being helped with this.

Good luck

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

It's your birthday tomorrow.
They are having a party .

As a birthday present to yourself , put on Celo Green "Forget You" ( uncut version) and delete their numbers from your phone. ( Ex Friend and EX FWB)

If you want send a text to each to say "Don'r bother me again"
Then press delete

Block on Social Media
And breathe.

HappyBirthday to yourself . Give yourself the lifelong gift of Self Respect and a Backbone

[NotIncandescentWithRage]

X post with pretty much everyone!!!

[NotIncandescentWithRage]

@ibblebibbledibble

A party? At the moment? 🤔

I’ve read this op before. Getting Déjà vu now.

[MouthBreathingRage]

You've posted about this So. Many. Times. When are you going to give up on this?

[curtainsforme]

It's not confusing at all. She isn't into serious stuff and you don't seem to be able to instigate a conversation.

[hammy345]

@curtainsforme she messed with me,dates then sleeping around.
It was confusing

[curtainsforme]

The issue was she couldn't see how manipulative mutual friend was.

It's really not though, is it? The issue is she doesn't want to go out with you. Face that and move on.

[hammy345]

@LockdownMayhem the mutual friend hated me being there in the big groups.
She told me I didn't belong there as I wasn't part of the group.
That's when she started telling this girl lies to put her off me (very 15 year old behaviour)

[hammy345]

@BilboBercow I really didn't.
It was after the mutual friend stirred the pot.
This girl is very social and before lockdown was out with lots of different friends.
I go out with my friends
That was honestly never a issue
The issue was she couldn't see how manipulative mutual friend was.

[LockdownMayhem]

I just know if the roles were reversed I would never have done the same.
I would never have not included her.
If my ex friend had did that to her I would have told her where to go

Unless I've misread the op, you said that your ex friend introduced you to this fwb and the 2 of you started seeing each other, going out for meals etc. So it seems as though you did exclude your friend and although you may have seen it more like dating (and therefore wouldn't typically include third parties) it seems as though the fwb was pretty clear from you from the outset that she wasn't into anything serious and you knew from.the beginning that she slept around. So from your ex-friend's point of view, she introduced you to a friend, and then you and fwb then met separately and didn't include her. I'm not saying her behaviour is right or rational, but you can't claim you wouldn't have excluded her if the situation had been reversed.

I think it really would be best to move on from this woman. She appears to have told you time and time again that she wants a casual relationship but you want more than she is prepard to give.

I think it's unkind to send you pictures of the party you're not invited to, but again, she is telling you here that she considers ex friend more important.