Not invited..aibu to be hurt?

[hammy345]

Il shorten this as much as possible.
Also name changed as my other threads have too much personal info.
Last year my good friend (or so I thought ) introduced me to her friend.(gay and I'm bisexual )
We got on well but she's a player.
Now we all start going out together and I start sleeping with her and going out for food etc.
My friend got jealous of me joining the group so cut me off and the invites with them stopped.
Me and this girl continued to text daily for 10 months.
Tonight she's having a party (ex friend will be there ) and she's texting me showing me (lights,DJ machine ) etc she's bought.
I'm not invited
I feel hurt
I'm good enough to text every day
All day..but not good enough to be invited.
I had a little cry because I have feelings for her.
If she really wanted she could say to her friend (my ex friend ) she's invited me and deal with it.
I'm just hurt
I feel not good enough
At one point I thought me and her were becoming a thing.

[hammy345]

@curtainsforme no I was expecting her to see through my ex friends lies and bullshit,and see the situation for what it was.

[curtainsforme]

no I was expecting her to see through my ex friends lies and bullshit,and see the situation for what it was.

Maybe she has. That doesn't necessarily mean she will cut contact with her.

[hammy345]

I just know if the roles were reversed I would never have done the same.
I would never have not included her.
If my ex friend had did that to her I would have told her where to go.

[iano]

You're going round in circles wondering about what she's doing and why and your ex friend. What are you going to do about all of this?

[dangerrabbit]

I think she sounds like a bit of a knob for telling you all about this party she is having that urge not invited to. I have primary aged kids and this is the sort of drama that goes down with them. Are you hoping she will become a gf in the future? Why? She doesn’t sound reliable.

[pictish]

She spoke about becoming a couple but didn’t make the move to become a couple. She’s playing you, stringing you along, keeping you on standby. She texts you because you give her the feedback and attention she craves throughout the day.
If she wanted you to be a couple you would be.

In other news, not being invited the party might not be a personal slight.

Either way, she’s not the one.

[Samtsirch]

It sounds as though you want her to choose between you and ex friend.
I don’t think that’s a healthy basis for a relationship, you can’t dictate who she is friends with.
You have to accept the situation as it , if you need more and find it too painful as things are then you need to try to move on from this girl.

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

I remember your posts about this a while ago. If they’re a friendship group then your fwb is allowed to invite who she wants, it obviously doesn’t feel nice for you but that’s life unfortunately.

This has been causing you problems for ages. It’s hard when you have feelings but it isn’t going in the direction you want it to. Even if you had an official relationship you’d still get this issue as I imagine she’d still want to see the friend who doesn’t speak to you!

When do you get pushed to the point of saying ‘enough’ and want a kinder life for yourself?

[curtainsforme]

I just know if the roles were reversed I would never have done the same.
I would never have not included her.

Despite many people telling you it is ok to see different people you still seem fixated on inclusion. It is perfectly normal to see different people are different times. The way she has treated you aside from that, with not knowing where you stand, like I said before - talk to her.

[hammy345]

I feel like I need to say to her
Do you ever see this going anywhere?
Because this isn't good for my mental health.
I can't carry on analysing every detail.
It's not healthy is it.

[ChaToilLeam]

Drop her and move on. Your feelings for her are clearly not reciprocated so why torment yourself? You are better off without either of them.

[Oilyoilyoilgob]

@hammy345

I just know if the roles were reversed I would never have done the same.
I would never have not included her.
If my ex friend had did that to her I would have told her where to go.

But the roles aren’t reversed. She isn’t you. She doesn’t have an issue with your ex friend and it’s be pretty controlling if you made demands for her to sack her friendship off.

Sounds like you’re stuck in ruminating about this and to be blunt, you’re wasting your life on this. The longer you stay linked to your fwb the longer you stay linked to your ex friend.

Concentrate on your other friendships and start being happy.

[Branleuse]

Youll have feelings for many people over your life. It doesnt necessarily mean they are important people. Often we develop feelings for the worst people because they trigger our attachment issues because they are dicks, not because theres actually something special or magical about them.
You need to be stronger than ever to not fall deeper into this headfuck

[pictish]

You can ask her but my guess is you won’t get a straight answer. You’ll simply be offering yourself up for more of the same.

You could also decide it’s not good enough for you and sack her off.

[PegasusReturns]

@curtainsforme. Are you always so obtuse?

It’s not ‘people see other people’ situation. Of course people can see friends.

It’s a matter of how decent people respond when they witness someone they apparently care about being treated appallingly.

[diddl]

@hammy345

I feel like I need to say to her
Do you ever see this going anywhere?
Because this isn't good for my mental health.
I can't carry on analysing every detail.
It's not healthy is it.

You know the answer already.

You can be the one to drop her.

[curtainsforme]

Are you always so obtuse?

I don't think I am being obtuse?

I may read the situation differently to you, that doesn't make me anything other than not of the same opinion.

[curtainsforme]

I feel like I need to say to her
Do you ever see this going anywhere?

Yes. That is exactly what you need to do. Talk.

Tying yourself up in knots because she remains friendly with someone you are no longer talking to is ridiculous though, whether you get with her or not.

[PawPawNoodle]

@PegasusReturns maybe she doesn't want to get in the middle of the spat because its actually nothing to do with her? Unless the ex-friend has committed a crime against OP then I imagine nothing appalling has actually happened and its just her being mean. This woman isn't obligated to pick between two people just because they've fallen out nor should they be expected to, we don't know the truth of the matter.

OP you have been left out because this is not your friendship group, I would hazard a guess that if you were still friends you may not have been invited anyway because it is a party for this particular small group of people who all already know each other.

[Tappering]

I just know if the roles were reversed I would never have done the same.
I would never have not included her.

But this isn't about what you would have done. She's not that into you. Stop wasting your time thinking about what you would have done - it's irrelevant.

I feel like I need to say to her
Do you ever see this going anywhere?

Don't bother. She's already told you that because she's sleeping with other women and has chosen your ex-friend over you. Delete and block.

Because this isn't good for my mental health.
I can't carry on analysing every detail.
It's not healthy is it.

No it's not. So stop doing it. You've been given lots of good advice on this thread. I suggest you follow it.

[hammy345]

A mutual friend has told me not to take it personally.
She's never had a relationship in 7 years.
I asked her why she sleeps around,she said "because it's what I want to do"
"Il never settle down"
"Il sleep with anything"
Other women have wanted more.
She says to us all
"I tell you all not to develop feelings for me,you all go and do it"

[Tappering]

@hammy345

What are you going to do about it?

You have a choice.

Keep analysing every single element of what's gone on.

Or delete, block , chalk it up to experience and move on.

[PegasusReturns]

I don’t think behaviour has to be criminal to warrant opprobrium from an unrelated party.

If friend A was called a racist slur by friend B, I’d find it pretty hard to stay friends with friend B.

If friend C had bullied friend D at work and got her fired I wouldn’t want to spend time with friend C.

If friend E had been shagging friend F’s husband for the past year I’d certainly be re-evaluating that friendship.

Anyway that’s somewhat academic: FWB didn’t want to to “not get involved” if that had been the case she’d invite both the OP and the ex friend. Instead she’s playing them off against each other.

Which speaks to the FWBs character. She’s not a nice person OP.

Concentrate on your other friends and draw alone under these

[BiggerBoat1]

She sounds like a twat.

Report her for having a party and don't reply to her texts.