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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 22:50

@EmbarrassingAdmissions that is so beautiful thank,you.

OP posts:
FruitPastillesaregood · 05/06/2020 22:50

That is absolutely amazing. Thank you for sharing this lovely story. Love to all of you!

Knittedfairies · 05/06/2020 22:50

Wonderful!

2306IRW · 05/06/2020 22:50

That's so lovely, ❤️ really brightened up my day congratulations to you all xx

Toomuchtrouble4me · 05/06/2020 22:52

Thanks for posting - so lovely, I have a little tear...and a smile.

Treatedlikeamaid · 05/06/2020 22:52

Oh that’s so lovely, well done for persevering and muddling through and being pretty darn fabulous all of you xxxx

GriseldaChop · 05/06/2020 22:53

Happy Forever Family Day! Such a lovely story to read. You will have changed their lives, such a huge and amazing thing. Smile

MrsMouse03 · 05/06/2020 22:54

How lovely, what a positive story. Wishing you lots of good times in the future x

OrchidJewel · 05/06/2020 22:55

What a story, how lucky they are to now have wonderful parents like you. Thank you for sharing does the heart good

Riddikulusness · 05/06/2020 22:56

Many congratulations! Heartbreaking to think what those kids must’ve been through even before losing their mum, but so lucky and amazing that they’ve got you. Thank you for sharing OP XX

ShopoholicIn · 05/06/2020 22:56

Was having a rubbish day.. Thanks for sharing op.. your story truly welled me up...WineCakeFlowers

flowerbombVR · 05/06/2020 22:57

Beautiful. In amongst the madness of this world there are still moments of beauty Smile
I'm so happy for your kids, for all of you!

NeedToKnow101 · 05/06/2020 22:58

What an absolutely lovely, heartwarming story ❤️❤️

MaryShelley1818 · 05/06/2020 22:58

That might be one of the loveliest things I've ever read. I'm training to be a CP Social Worker and stories like this make me cry.
You and your husband are amazing, how lucky those children are xxx

JustC · 05/06/2020 22:59

Congratulations! And thank you for sharing this. It's nice to hear/read something positive amongst all the crap happening in the world.

YesIDoLoveCrisps · 05/06/2020 23:00

I love teenagers because no matter what happens it’s always about food too. Acknowledging you are their mum/asking for pizza.
Grin
So happy for your family Smile

Lifeisconfusing · 05/06/2020 23:01

Amazing!!!! you stepped up for your family and completely changed your family dynamic to bring up these kids so that they could be secure and loved. You are both amazing and I wish you so much joy and happiness in your futures together.

FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

Caoilainn · 05/06/2020 23:02

Congratulations! You both sound like a wonderful mum and dad and your have two brilliant children!

SummerBaby2020 · 05/06/2020 23:02

I think it’s a mixture of being so happy for you and the pregnancy hormones but I burst into tears next to my partner and he woke up in a panic. When I told him why he had a wee tear too!! Thanks so much for sharing your story OP it’s so nice to see such a lovely story with everything going on ❤️ Your story has made my day congratulations to you all Flowers

AtaMarie · 05/06/2020 23:02

What a lovely post! Your teens are lucky to have you as parents. Sounds like you were a proper family from the get go (arguments and confusion are totally normal!) and the piece of paper just makes it official.

Egghead68 · 05/06/2020 23:03

Congratulations!

positivity123 · 05/06/2020 23:04

So nice. Thank you for telling us. X

beachdreaming2020 · 05/06/2020 23:04

OP I want you to adopt me. I mean I’m nearly 50 and have two kids myself but you just sound like the best mum ever. Thank you for sharing such joy and I hope you have a very happy life full of love.

UnholyStramash · 05/06/2020 23:04

The four of you have done brilliantly. Congratulations to you @SecretSpAD and your lovely little family. I hope you all have lots of fun in the years ahead.

CaptainNelson · 05/06/2020 23:05

How wonderful. Wishing all of you all the very best x

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