Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
Crissy83 · 06/06/2020 06:33

Fabulous ending, well done all xx

adviceatthislatestage · 06/06/2020 06:38

That brought tears to my eyes.

Congratulations and best wishes to you all Thanks

kaldefotter · 06/06/2020 06:40

This is just so lovely, thank you for sharing it with us.

MrsExpo · 06/06/2020 06:44

Oh my goodness .... what a lovely, positive post amidst all the sadness, madness and negativity. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all every happiness.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/06/2020 06:48

What a lovely story. I think you’ve broken Mumsnet today. Congratulations mum and dad!! Flowers

Heldupwithscaffolding · 06/06/2020 06:49

Lovely story thank you for sharing

saffy1234 · 06/06/2020 06:58

This story has made me so happy Smile

Peridot1 · 06/06/2020 06:59

How lovely. Congratulations to you all.

And yes teens can be gits! I’m told they grow out of it. Mine is 18 so I’m hoping it’s soon!

HelloGoodbyeStay · 06/06/2020 07:04

I never cry at stuff on mnet but I must admit to a little speck in my eye. As the parent of teens myself I know the trials and tribulations very well, I also know that they need, even more than toddlers, the security blanket of knowing you are there for them and that they are loved. Seems like you have fulfilled those roles with bells on! What a wonderful post, wishing you all the very best in the future.

Racheyg · 06/06/2020 07:10

Such a lovely happy ending I hope you, and your family enjoy your new lives in Cornwall xx

Foggyday124 · 06/06/2020 07:15

This is the best thing I’ve read all week. Congratulations, it can’t have been easy but you created something beautiful.

2bazookas · 06/06/2020 07:29

Congratulations to all of you.

ProperVexed · 06/06/2020 07:32

So lovely to read a nice thread on mumsnet and it even includes the dreaded teenagers. Congratulations!

GhostCurry · 06/06/2020 07:35

Fantastic news OP, well done to all of you!

Mytimetogo · 06/06/2020 07:35

So lovely. Congratulations to all of you. ❤️

PopsicleHustler · 06/06/2020 07:42

Well done
Excellent story towards the end of course.
Congratulations. And I hope you enjoyed your pizza party with the kids!

PinkSparkleUnicorns · 06/06/2020 07:53

I love this! Thank you for sharing

cafenoirbiscuit · 06/06/2020 08:23

I think this should go into Classics 😍

StillMedusa · 06/06/2020 09:32

Asolutely lovely to read, thank you for sharing your story and huge congratulations to all of you !

bibliomania · 06/06/2020 09:51

That really feels like a ray of light. You and your dh have been open to turning your lives upside down. I'm so happy to hear it has worked out.

MaeDanvers · 06/06/2020 09:59

Another one here to say thank you for sharing. Really made me well up, so happy for you all that you have found such happiness together as a family after such a tragedy.

SecretSpAD · 06/06/2020 10:01

I've never started a thread before so this is lovely!

Yep, we're heroes for the pizza as it's not easy to get it delivered where we are and it's normally a treat for when we go to Truro (obviously not in the last few months).

We hadn't planned to ever become parents, but had looked after the children now and again while their mother was in treatment. My in laws dealt with the situation by throwing money at her - bought a house, paid for treatment, paid for the children to go to boarding school (which lasted half a term as they hated it). What they never gave their daughter or their grandchildren was love and support. If she'd have had that then although it wouldn't have stopped her from dying of cancer, it would have given her a better life when she was here - and her children happier memories.

Needless to say my husband is non contact with his parents and they are not getting their hands on their grandchildren. My dad and my siblings all live fairly close by and have embraced the teenagers into my family - as they did to my husband.

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 06/06/2020 10:04

What a lovely story! Brought a tear to my eye too!

Thank you for sharing, congratulations and wishing you all the happiness.

buckeejit · 06/06/2020 10:18

This is so wonderful, huge congratulations to you all.

I LOVE a happy ending/beginning ❤️

xyx123 · 06/06/2020 11:01

Beautiful story OP.

My parents both died by the time I was 12. (Well my stepdad, but the only dad I ever knew). His sister and husband took in my brother and I.

They didn't formally adopt us as they just felt it wasn't right to in the circumstances of our own parents always having been in the picture, but they'll never know how much they changed our lives, and how grateful I am for the love they show me every day (despite being a professional git teenager to them myself).

Their kids are now nothing but my brothers, and they are grandparents to my dc.

You're a mum now, and likely a granny some day! But definitely always an angel. Funny how things turn out. ♥️

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.