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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
mencken · 06/06/2020 11:19

excuse me, I've got something in my eye...

in a world full of arseholes - a great reminder that there are some really, really good people around. Thank you, OP.

DressesWithPocketsRockMyWorld · 06/06/2020 11:39

I love this so so so so so much. I wish you and your children a lifetime of good health, fun, laughter and happiness.

MistyMinge2 · 06/06/2020 11:43

This is so very lovely and has made me shed a few tears. What a selfless act you both did. So nice to read about something positive.

longtimecomin · 06/06/2020 11:49

Congratulations, a happy tale Grin

Fishfingersandwichplease · 06/06/2020 11:50

Got goosebumps after reading that!! What lovely people you and you DH are.lucky kids xxx

MinistryOfTragic · 06/06/2020 11:50

Amazing. Congratulations. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Iggypoppie · 06/06/2020 11:52

Would make a lovely book

OrlandoInTheWilderness · 06/06/2020 11:54

We need more stories like this. Congratulations!

pomegranatefizz · 06/06/2020 12:09

This is one of the loveliest things I've ever read on MN. Thanks for sharing, wishing you all a long, happy family life Thanks

pinktaxi · 06/06/2020 12:14

Lovely story, thank you for saving the lives of two children who would have been so disadvantaged in life if you hadn't stepped in. Thanks

likeamother · 06/06/2020 12:17

@SecretSpAD congratulations on adoption day! I have both smiled and cried reading this, and it feels like a little timely gift for me as I am currently struggling with my lovely teen nephew who lives with me. We are at the 'many tears/difficulties/counselling' stage and your post has given me hope we can all come through it, as I have been doubting myself lately.

You, your H and your children sound like a wonderful family x

Fandoozle1 · 06/06/2020 12:18

What a heartwarming story of love triumphing over such tragic circumstances. Wishing you all a lovely happy family life together x

EarringsandLipstick · 06/06/2020 12:19

What a lovely lovely thread. Beautiful to read.

OP you and your family sound fabulous 🤗

dontdisturbmenow · 06/06/2020 12:22

What a lovely and refreshing post on MN. Thank you so much for sharing. Made my day xx

BigBirdsbird · 06/06/2020 12:31

Ooh, you've made me well up, I needed a lovely story in my life.
I may well move in and let you adopt me too.

Babymamaroon · 06/06/2020 12:33

Oh my goodness! What a beautiful, happy ending indeed. Just wonderful thank you for sharing your joy Star

backseatcookers · 06/06/2020 12:40

As someone who is adopted, thank you. Thank you for opening your home and hearts to help them feel safe, secure and loved Thanks

LateMumma · 06/06/2020 12:40

Just beautiful. Congratulations to you all!

Warsawa31 · 06/06/2020 12:41

Wow what a wonderful story! You and your husband have given those kids a lifeline, in ten years time when you have a carpenter and a vet nurse visiting you it’ll be because of the stable and loving home you guys provided them. Just a great story that brought tears to my eyes

SecretSpAD · 06/06/2020 12:44

xyz thank you for sharing that. It is lovely to hear the great relationship you have with your sort of adoptive family.

We had, still have, many sleepless nights where we worry if we're fucking them up! Parenting isn't something that came naturally to us, still isn't, but luckily the kids are pretty good at helping us through it!

OP posts:
oohnicevase · 06/06/2020 12:50

How lovely 😊

Casschops · 06/06/2020 12:54

Lovely and life changing story. Good luck to you all in your future .

Glitteryone · 06/06/2020 12:56

Such a lovely post ❤️

snop · 06/06/2020 13:09

What a lovely story x

Smokeyrobinson · 06/06/2020 13:12

Awwwww your story is wonderful!

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