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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
MadameMeursault · 05/06/2020 23:41

What a lovely story. You’ve made me smile and cry! Congratulations to you both and to your daughter and son Flowers

Soozikinzii · 05/06/2020 23:41

Wonder news thanks for sharing this today . I am so pleased that this has worked out so well for you all xx sending every good wish for the future for your lovely family xx

msmith501 · 05/06/2020 23:42

What an uplifting thread and so obviously full of love and depth of emotion. Thank you for posting it. Wow! Just wow!

titchy · 05/06/2020 23:45

How fabulous ThanksThanksThanksCakeCakeWineWineWineGrinGrinGrin

Justaboy · 05/06/2020 23:57

What a wonderfull win-win story for you all:)

Hope all goes well with Woodwork enterprises UK Ltd!

God Bless:)

AllsortsofAwkward · 06/06/2020 00:02

Beautiful story op you sound amazing parents Flowers

Creamcar · 06/06/2020 00:03

What a wonderful story. Congratulations and every happiness to you all.

dublingirl66 · 06/06/2020 00:07

I'm so glad there are wonderful people in the world like you both

How lovely 😘❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

happyrage20 · 06/06/2020 00:07

Omg tears at bedtime. What an uplifting story.

Flythedragons · 06/06/2020 00:12

Congratulations!!!! So pleased for you all 😀

Dita73 · 06/06/2020 00:14

That is completely wonderful. You’re very special people as you’ve taken on a lot but made it work so brilliantly. Congratulations to you all. I wish you so much future happiness. You have some wonderful times ahead and you thoroughly deserve them. Best wishes to you and your family

84claire84 · 06/06/2020 00:17

You both are bloody amazing people. I wish you an eternity of happiness. Xx

feelingfree17 · 06/06/2020 00:17

Oh my goodness, thank you for sharing this uplifting story, you wonderful people. Feel so happy for the children too
Here’s to a lifetime of happy days xx

ButterfliesandMoths · 06/06/2020 00:18

Congratulations to you all. That's wonderful news. All the best for the future.

LightTripper · 06/06/2020 00:21

Lovely. Thank you for sharing!

2018SoFarSoGreat · 06/06/2020 00:22

@SecretSpAD thank you for sharing this most lovely, heartwarming story. I have to say I have a tiny little something in my eye. Oh, both eyes.

You are good humans. You and your DH sound like the best kind of humans. How marvelous you found each other, and then that your children found you - albeit in a really hard way. May you all live happily together, always.

DontStandSoClose · 06/06/2020 00:24

It’s so nice to read something on here that isn’t negative or someone moaning. Your story did bring a tear to my eye, so pleased for you all. You sound like lovely people and I wish you all the very best.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 06/06/2020 00:28

Aw this has made me well up.
Such a lovely & fabulous story.
I'm so pleased for you all.
You'll be brilliant Grandarents too - obviously years into the future!

Lubeylube · 06/06/2020 00:29

I'm glad you've gone to bed because every time I pull myself together after one of your posts you write another one and start me off again. I can't take any more. Congratulations you are clearly already fantastic parents.

MrsEricBana · 06/06/2020 00:30

Gosh those poor kids have been through such a lot but that's a very happy ending indeed for all of you, how lovely! 🥰

Soonbechrimbo · 06/06/2020 00:35

Wow!!! Congratulations Mum and Dad! 😁 That is the most wonderful story. How lucky you all are to have each other.

Fellow Mum through adoption here ❤️

Henio · 06/06/2020 00:42

Love this! Very happy for you all xx

SingingSands · 06/06/2020 00:45

This is the best thing I have read in weeks.

Thank you for sharing your story. Goodnight mum!

Queenest · 06/06/2020 00:49

Wonderful news, huge congratulations! Wishing you all much happiness OP

thenamesarealltaken · 06/06/2020 01:00

Wonderful post to read. But luckily they feel comfortable enough to be themselves and not hold back. You sound like brilliant parents
I've two teens and other heading towards it. Yea, I know the moods.

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