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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share my happy ending

406 replies

SecretSpAD · 05/06/2020 21:28

I've never talked about this on MN but after recently NCing so I could admit to my previous job I've decided I'm sufficiently anonymous now!

Two years ago my husbands sister died of cancer. She was a drug addict and well known to the health services so when she started presenting with some pretty serious red flag symptoms she was ignored. My husband did his best to get her listened to - he went to the GP with her, got her referred but it was too late - it's nit entirely her GP's fault as she did have a habit of going to the surgery stoned and then not telling the GP what the actual,problem was. She died 6 months later and in her final days asked us if we could take responsibility for her two children - then 11 and 15. We are childless ourselves, but had always been close to our nephew and niece and so said yes.

Two years ago these wonderful children came to live with us in London. We had pretty hard on jobs - at that time my husband was (and still is) a senior civil servant and I was a special advisor. It was a shock to the system for the children has they had grown up in a rural area, but they were excited by London and the anonymity of no one knowing they were the local druggies' children. We offered to move anywhere they wanted, but they loved London. We all made loads of mistakes along the way. I know it is hard enough to be a parent of the teenager when you have had them from birth, but when they suddenly appear in your life.....well, we fucked up many times. But we all muddled through and with lots of counselling, many tears, tantrums and arguments (some of them with the children!) we got through the first year.

Cutting a long story short, last summer we decided to move out of London and to Cornwall. I had quit my job and was doing freelance work and my husband was disillusioned with his and wanted to plan to leave too. The children and I moved in September and my husband visited each weekend. We acquired a dog and several cats. A rabbit also suddenly appeared out of no where one day and my niece has recently started whatapping pictures of a litter of puppies so no doubt we will be getting another dog before long. She has also, after years of objecting strongly to any and all education, decided she wants to be a vet nurse.
My nephew has discovered a talent and love for woodwork and is interested in training as a carpenter. My husband, who's hobby is carpentry, has handed in his resignation and plans to start a business making things out of wood with our nephew - though the latter is being encouraged to do an apprenticeship as well.

The best thing, however, was the moment, about a year ago when the children sat us down and said that they would like us to adopt them. That was, as you can imagine, a long process and one that involved several conversations with their deadbeat father who fucked off before my niece was born. After the initial posturing he gave in and gave permission......ams today, today we got the official news...,,,we are our niece and nephews new parents.

Of course, being teenagers during lockdown they were complete gits today GrinGrin and their response to our news was "you've been our mum and dad for the last two years and a piece of paper means nothing. But can we get a pizza tonight anyway?"

God I love them.

Apologies for the un AIBU AIBU.

OP posts:
FlamingoQueen · 05/06/2020 23:24

Love this! Congratulations

Willowkins · 05/06/2020 23:25

This gave my heart a wobble. Congratulations on officially becoming parents Wine

kesie123 · 05/06/2020 23:25

What a wonderful thing to post - thank you. Brought tears to my eyes too - you are both obviously natural and amazing parents - congratulations.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 05/06/2020 23:25

My daughter has just gone to bed and said "night mum, night dad"
❤️
Congratulations all

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/06/2020 23:26

Do you know how you know that your child truly loves and trusts you? When they properly act out at you.

An insecure child cant do that as they fear being rejected (its why you'll find many kids who are little angels for their deadbeat EOW parent but little shits for the parent they live with).

Oh and your attitude to alcohol is good. A kid who isnt allowed booze at home will still drink, just in unsafe ways. I have allowed all of mine to drink at home from 14 and the three who are now adults have a far healthier attitude to it than their friends, and did from the start.

IchbineinBerlinner · 05/06/2020 23:27

Gorgeous story. Well done everyone

Wakaranaihito · 05/06/2020 23:28

Congratulations and thanks so much for sharing. We need reminding of all the love in these days. Xx

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 05/06/2020 23:29

Lovely.

Congratulations all.

Typohere · 05/06/2020 23:30

Wow, what a lovely story.

Brilliant news and thank you for sharing.

Best wishes xx

May09Bump · 05/06/2020 23:31

So nice to hear - there has been horrid news all day and this added to the good in the world. Have a great life together!

ChooChooItsAllAboutYou · 05/06/2020 23:31

Congratulations!! Thank you for sharing your story and cheering me up xxx

Imohsotired · 05/06/2020 23:32

Congrats op. I'm in tears reading. What you've done is amazing and I'm so pleased for you

Neveranynamesleft · 05/06/2020 23:32

Such a heartwarming story. You should both be proud of yourselves, there must have been times when you questioned everything that you were doing but the ending makes it all worthwhile. I wish there were more people in the world such as yourselves.

Ladybud · 05/06/2020 23:33

Awww this put a smile on my face. Lovely to read and congratulations Smile

Scautish · 05/06/2020 23:34

Just so lovely. Thank you for sharing.

Spacecudet · 05/06/2020 23:35

This is the loveliest thing I have read, congratulations Flowers

Dee1975 · 05/06/2020 23:36

A wonderful story to hear during these times. Congratulations to you all

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 05/06/2020 23:37

This has brightened up my day.

What lucky children.

What a lucky man and dad.

What a lucky, beautiful, happy family.

Thank you for cheering up a disillusioned auld cow FlowersSmile

schoolrummum · 05/06/2020 23:37

Just made me cry! Thank you for being kind lovely people ❤️

Justgorgeous · 05/06/2020 23:38

You all sound wonderful. Well done to you and your husband you have done something pretty amazing. Wishing you all continued happiness.

FilthyforFirth · 05/06/2020 23:39

My god I needed this today. Thank you so much for sharing your story and breaking up the utter doom and gloom this site has become.

Very happy for your lovely family.

MsJaneAusten · 05/06/2020 23:39

I’ve only read the OP but this is absolutely lovely. Congratulations Flowers Wine

Wynston · 05/06/2020 23:40

I absolutely love the fact that you told that story how it was.....good and bad!!
I am delighted for you all......new beginnings so excited for you all x

Holothane · 05/06/2020 23:40

Well done 💐💐💐💐💐

FruitPastillesaregood · 05/06/2020 23:41

We need more of these sorts of posts . In a sea of negativity, this is the piece of treasure.

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