Mother in law dumping her off stuff on us.

[A82971151]

Above says it all ^^

She’s obviously having a sort out whilst she’s off work furloughed. She doesn’t like to get rid of anything but happy to dump it on us.

She’s collecting things she thinks we might like. I won’t go into great detail. But old clothes, old toys that were here kids that too long ago but my two aren’t interested just things we don’t really need it have the space for in our tiny house.

I sound ungrateful but I’d be so embarrassed to give it away. I only give away things that people would appreciate if ever.

Oh has been popping over there for socially distancing chats and every time he comes back with a bag of crap. It’s often been stored away for ages and is grubby, smelly and ready for the bin.

Aibu to tell my partner to refuse to bring anything else home?

I’ve just been out to oh’s work vehicle to get something and there bags of junk that he’s obviously not brought in yet for me to see 🤣

She’s not elderly btw. She’s furloughed off work and doesn’t like to get rid of anything. If she finds out we are getting rid of something she hates it. She likes to re home things etc.

We were sorting out my mum and dad' house recently and found old currency - pre Euro, mostly pesetas and drachmas and punts. What on earth would you do with it? It seems obscene to put money in the bin, but it's not legal or valid, right?

Why didn't ex MIL try to sell the Top Trumps trading cards then?
Well, it doesn't really need an answer. That sort of knee jerk, 'it could have been valuable', 'it could have been used', is their stock answer. Yep, so valuable, so useful, that you have kept it in an unboarded loft, or a damp shed for 10 years.

Our local Sue Ryder charity shop takes old coins. Someone comes and buys them from them to melt down the metal. I don't know if other charity shops do this.

@jackdawdawn

We were sorting out my mum and dad' house recently and found old currency - pre Euro, mostly pesetas and drachmas and punts. What on earth would you do with it? It seems obscene to put money in the bin, but it's not legal or valid, right?

You can join a facebook coin collection group and offer it up on there for free if you want it gone

I have this but the opposite way round. My son a d his girlfriend turn up every couple of months with bin bags full of clothes ( I do see them more than once every couple of months, usually its every couple of days!)
Instead of going straight to the charity shop which is half a mile from them they drive 4 miles to bring me their clutter!!
If he is like this at 22 I ve got many more years if it!!😂😂

@MereDintofPandiculation

If it's not attractive and good quality just throw it away. What happened to "Reduce, re-use, re-cycle"?

That's a responsibility all of us have equally. It isn't discharged by throwing your old shit at someone else and making it their problem. That isn't reusing or recycling, it's fly tipping in someone else's home. Nor is their any moral obligation to make use of substandard items someone else has foisted on you. I primarily buy second hand but I don't accept ugliness or poor quality.

OP I'd say this needs to be nipped in the bud now. I wouldn't be willing to do what a lot of other posters have said and take it with a view to taking to the dump or charity shop, because both of those things have become a great deal more difficult in the pandemic. Many of us are dealing with reduced waste collection, tips aren't all fully open and neither are a lot of (all?) charity shops.

My mum is terrible for doing this. She knows I hate it so she gives it to the kids.

The latest thing she offloaded were some decorative fruit soaps that had been on display in her bathroom for the best part of two decades! Useless now as soap or anything else.

Love OMG the reverse burglar and the tat that gets a nice day out

A relative of DH’s does this, she also gets her DD to wrap up old tiny plastic tat toys from 10 years ago and give them to my child as Christmas presents. She’s always trying to flog her old crap on Facebook and gets offended when no one wants to buy it.

the classic mumsnet expression, you have a DH problem not a MIL!!! He needs to grow a pair and refuse to take it!

I take it and, after a quick check, put it in my bin rather than hers.

The thing is, nobody "reduces", a lot of stuff isnt fit to be re used and cant be recycled very effectively- result of five decades of not really caring or thinking about disposal.

My MIL does things like this. OH came home before lockdown with two black bin bags full of his old clothes from when he was younger. They were aged 11-12 so she had stored them for 15 years instead of just taking them to the charity shop opposite her house. He tried to ask why she hadn't thrown them away/donated them already and she said ''well they're yours and I can't store them anymore so that's your problem''

I don't really visit her with him for other reasons and he can't say no to her for some reason when she dumps crap on him. So I don't have any advice but I totally understand how irritating it is!

I have this with my MIL. If I try and refuse it I get a 10 minute explanation as to how useful it is, which is soul destroying. All delivered with a smile, so I feel both burdened with the stuff and patronised!

I now play the long game. Once my kids have grown out of it, it goes straight back to her when we visit, under the guise of being for her next grandchild who is 5 years younger then my youngest. For non child stuff, if I don't want it I refuse it straight away or bin it later, depending on how robust I feel.

@Peregrina The money I have is actually paper, banknotes! I suppose it is technically worthless.

I think the Sue Ryder shops takes banknotes too, although I am not sure what they do with them.

I donated tatty, 19C books and out of date currency from my grandfather to my daughter’s local art college as resources.

Thanks all. I don’t think he wants to upset his mum

Of course he doesn’t , he’d rather upset you. Then he can get YOU to upset his mum instead.

Meanwhile he gets to sit in the middle laughing at your two women who can’t get on, while he’s Mr Nice Guy. He can joke with his mates about you fighting over him and why women are so competitive.

Meanwhile you are posting on MN about it and he’s probably watching TV drinking coffee. You have 100% ownership of this problem and he’s care free.

My dp comes with tat from his father everytime he visits, its not allowed in the house, unfortunately the shed ( which is big) is unusable due to all the tat getting put in there, I don't understand why he can't upset his dad by refusing it but happy to upset me by taking it, anyway I empathise with you and your problem is with your dp

To the poster who mentioned foreign currency there is a website called www.leftovercurrency.com that buys out of date currency.

If he has no balls, then tell him to come home via the tip if she gives him stuff!

@myusernamewastakenbyme
Oh, thank you. My dad would have had a fit if he knew I was chucking money in the fire!

Reduce, reuse, recycle

Yes and the first and most important (by far) part of this is reducing - ie, don't buy things in the first place. So the person who has it should have never bought it in the first place. When it comes to disposing of it, facing that guilt and inconvenience can help you think next time - do I really need this?

The worse thing a person can do is buy heaps of things, kid themselves they are helping people by giving them away, and then buy more.

Reduce, re-use, re-cycle

Yes but hoarders don't do this - they expect you to deal with their rubbish. I try very much to lead as ethical a life as I can. I only buy carefully what I need, I do my best to reuse things and recycle everything. So it frustrates me when someone decides to make their broken tat MY problem.