Would it put you off a man if he spoke in detail about exes looks?

[SunshineOverStress]

For instance if during a general conversation they randomly mentioned how good looking past conquests were, perfect body big boobs big bum completely flat stomach model type, stunning etc without asking them? Like going into extensive detail about their looks when you haven’t asked them what they look like or anything in regards to their looks? This has happened more than once by the way...

Wondering if I’m being sensitive to finding it off-putting and thinking why is he telling me this? Is it because of his own insecurities And to big himself up or to make me feel insecure/jealous?
Turn off or am I being unreasonable?

Urgh. Nope, you're not being sensitive.
He is being insensitive.
And tone-deaf. And won't change.
You deserve so much more x x

You're not being unreasonable at all.

a. Why are they telling you, massively insensitive.
b. Why are they telling you, some sort of hidden agenda
c. They sound really shallow.

I would be off the starting blocks like a whippet

How does that even come up in conversation???

Yanbu, it might be a bit of both but its a massive turn off

He’s telling you that you should be grateful that he is lowering his usual ‘standards‘ by being with you. He is not a nice man.

100% yes. I don't think I'd even be friends with someone so shallow and oblivious let asking date one! 😂 And if I did it would only be the once .. ditch!

How embarrassing for him. 🤦🏻‍♀️

He's drawing comparisons to make you feel insecure. They're obviously exes for a reason. Either he was an arsehole (likely) or other things were missing that looks alone weren't enough for a good relationship.

I had an ex that bragged about the "stunners" he'd had before me. Interestingly he hasn't managed to get a girlfriend (stunning or otherwise) since I left him five years ago so I now doubt it ever happened. I would take his stories with a pinch of salt.

So why isn’t he with any of them now?

Yes it would put me off. Can only think of negative reasons why he would even mention it once.
I would feel free to start talking about how fit your exes were, even if you made it up.

YANBU. It'd be a big custard pie in the face from me.

The thing is, without being shallow and vain myself, I would be considered a very attractive woman myself, and this sounds awful to say but I would be classed as objectively much better looking than him.

So I’m wondering if it’s to make me feel like he regularly pulls very attractive women (which is Irrelevant as looks is not all someone has to offer!) in order to not feel too good for him (not that I would) and to kind of put me in my place a bit and to try make me feel not that special?

I pulled him up on it today and he was like ohh sorry I’ve offended you are you getting jealous? I said no I just find it off putting as I don’t see why I need to know this. He said if it was reverse he would find it a compliment that I find him good looking enough to see him seeing as I’ve dated good looking men previously then he must be attractive and mentioned that I’ve never actually told him that I find him good looking. Fishing for compliments too maybe?

Not from Bristol is he?
I was chatting to someone who decided to tell me the mother of his child is a model in another country.

Thanks then!

OP, your last post suggests to me that he is indeed sort of negging you, and that it's about making you think you should be grateful he's dating you seeing as his exes were so good looking.

Well done on pulling him up OP.

IMHO (being an oldie!) I don't see the threat in discussing the physical elements of former partners. So what if he/she was gorgeous? Looks are only one element of what makes a person who they are, and if the inside isn't as attractive as the outside then the wrapping is irrelevant.

What do you see in him?

So I’m wondering if it’s to make me feel like he regularly pulls very attractive women (which is Irrelevant as looks is not all someone has to offer!) in order to not feel too good for him (not that I would) and to kind of put me in my place a bit and to try make me feel not that special?

I think you've figured him out. He sounds massively insecure and like he's trying to pull you down with him. This kind of thing can turn into emotional abuse, in my experience.

Hes negging you.
Find someone nicer and more intelligent.

He sounds gross.

Are you much better looking than him by any chance? As this is standard behaviour for losers who know they aren't good enough for you. Making you think they have had better anyway whilst trying to destroy your confidence and make you feel less attractive. Don't waste any more time on him please!

Yanbu. I wouldn't want to see him again.

He sounds very immature.
Dump and move on.

I think it sounds like negging as well. Run!

“My last boyfriend looked like Thor only better looking, with a penis down to his knees. You could tell he never skipped leg day. He had buns of steel and you could practically grate cheese on his abs. Shoulders like boulders, a smile that could light up a room, and he’d look at me with his piercing blue eyes like I was a glass of ice cold water in the desert. Your ex sounds pretty.”