Would it put you off a man if he spoke in detail about exes looks?

[SunshineOverStress]

For instance if during a general conversation they randomly mentioned how good looking past conquests were, perfect body big boobs big bum completely flat stomach model type, stunning etc without asking them? Like going into extensive detail about their looks when you haven’t asked them what they look like or anything in regards to their looks? This has happened more than once by the way...

Wondering if I’m being sensitive to finding it off-putting and thinking why is he telling me this? Is it because of his own insecurities And to big himself up or to make me feel insecure/jealous?
Turn off or am I being unreasonable?

This is pretty grim, I'd mark him down considerably.

In the fullness of time, I would want to get a better understanding of a new partner's ex, but as ever - discretion is the better part of valour.

He’s insecure, you’re out of his league so he’s trying to knock you down a peg. Wake up, dump him.

Next, move on
Doors that way➡️

I am going to take good advice and move on! I’ve read up on negging and this sounds exactly like what he’s been doing to me giving me back handed compliments!

Examples:
You know you haven’t got the biggest bum in the world Don’t you, like you know when a girls got a big bum,but you just know how to show it off.

He said my car boosts me by a point and makes me look better

My friend was saying in front of him and his friend how stunning she thinks I am and later on he said I would just find that so awkward in case other people didn’t agree, like unless you knew you were a 10/10 - not saying that you aren’t though...

Only met him a few times so I am cutting my losses!

All sounds sooo shallow and childish too and he’s 32!!

Either negging or utterly shallow. I couldn’t put up with either in a partner. It’s just too tedious. I think you’re right to move on.

He's scoring you on points and you are wondering whether to stay with him?!

OOH! I'd end it by saying you've realised you're clearly not up to his standard, so you're freeing him to find better.....

What a twat. Wonder why he's not still with any of these stunning women from his past

An ex told me his ex was the spitting image of Carla from Corrie.. that did wonders for my self esteem. Yes he was trying to put me in my place (negging) and no he wasn't a nice man. At all. Anyway towards the end of the joke of a relationship I happened across a photo of her. I won't be be bitchy but the ONLY resemblance to the actress was the dark hair...

He sounds weird, gross and plain boring. How can you find him attractive?

Run for the hills my dear, this is not a good ‘un.

Definitely negging, and only tossers do this. I'm glad you're cutting your losses!

Also - bet you anything he's a liar liar pants on fire, his exes were almost certainly nothing like as good looking as he's claiming.

Not totally sure I can comment, having never myself been a particularly attractive person. It probably does make a degree of sense that someone in that camp would spend a degree of time, y'know, enjoying it, and I suppose an element of that might entail glorifying/dissecting people's physical appearances.

This said, of course, looks are only ever temporary, at 32 you're well over halfway through peak years, it might be time to start moving on.

Anyway, going into detail about an ex feels wrong to me - it's important to be as open about your exes as your partner wants, but this feels to me like TMI.

OK well surely you have your answer then OP.

My ex used to do this (I was young and wasn't as aware of red flags then as I am now, so I suppose I can thank him for one thing, because he made me hyper aware of them). He was a cunt. I've never met a man who did this who wasn't. It's really gross behaviour. Immature and disrespectful, both to you and his ex girlfriends.

Negging. He'll be abusive and critical underneath this acting show.

He sounds awful and very insecure. I've been with my DP for nearly 15 years and not once have his exes come up other than I know for the significant ones why they broke up and roughly how long they were together, no clue if they were supermodels or girl next door types, curvy or slim, dark or blonde, absolutely nothing, he makes sure I know he's attracted to me and that's all!

This would 100% put me off.

Weird, insecure nasty little man, you do right to move on and find someone who appreciates all of your good points.

I have noticed this quite a bit. Especially with some quite educated men, referring to other women in an odd, depersonalised manner as though they are some kind of arbiter of female beauty: 'yah, there were some, like, objectively very attractive women at the bar we went to. I'm pretty sure they were escorts'. It seems to be trying to lower your esteem and make you grateful for their attention.

his final point about the conversation with your friend being awkward is very much negging to me- why would your friend not say kind things about you?

And it's weird that he even thinks of you as a mark out of 10. Women are human beings, not show ponies.

Onwards and upwards, OP. theres a lot of this nonsense about.

He’s an utter arsehole. I don’t have a clue what my husbands exes look like and he tells me I’ve got the nicest bottom he’s ever seen (which is patently untrue).

Completely unreasonable. Dp rarely mentions his ex and he had a 7 year relationship with 2 children with her. He is obviously in regular contact with her because of the kids but still manages to not mention things about their previous relationships to me.

Your update is awful.

Your car boosts you by an extra point? Out of interest what car is it?!

Gross. Get rid. 🤮

Dump immediately and tell him to fuck off out of your life.

Surly you have a gorgeous ex boyfriend who was an amazing lover he should know about.