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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would it put you off a man if he spoke in detail about exes looks?

105 replies

SunshineOverStress · 04/06/2020 22:47

For instance if during a general conversation they randomly mentioned how good looking past conquests were, perfect body big boobs big bum completely flat stomach model type, stunning etc without asking them? Like going into extensive detail about their looks when you haven’t asked them what they look like or anything in regards to their looks? This has happened more than once by the way...

Wondering if I’m being sensitive to finding it off-putting and thinking why is he telling me this? Is it because of his own insecurities And to big himself up or to make me feel insecure/jealous?
Turn off or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Sidge · 05/06/2020 13:48

He sounds like a massive twat.

Also, if a new bloke mentioned his ex partners to me I’d wonder why, and also listen very carefully how he spoke about them.

A man who only refers to his exes in terms of their physical attributes is a complete bellend who fails to see women as anything but adornments. Ugh.

BacklashStarts · 05/06/2020 13:54

Oooh 100% yanbu! With 77 posts.

Anyone who bangs on about their ex’s looks, esp early on, good or bad is a weirdo!

wildone84 · 05/06/2020 14:14

Yes. It's a sign of a very insecure man who will always feel that way and has little habits like this, as a way of bigging himself up. It gets tedious after a while. I speak from experience.

mencken · 05/06/2020 14:52

blimey, what a boring conversation.

unless the sex is out of this world, why are you bothering?

Zaphodsotherhead · 05/06/2020 14:54

The last time an ex tried telling me in detail how gorgeous his ex girlfriend was (apparently she was cabin crew and soooo well travelled too, dontchaknow), I asked for her number because I told him she sounded far more fanciable than him.

Then dumped him.

SunshineOverStress · 05/06/2020 15:59

@lgtg
It’s a white BMW 4 series coupe with black alloys and red seats... not everyone’s cup of tea I imagine And not exactly a luxury high end car either but I do get a lot of compliments on it! Very shallow to judge me on my car though regardless.

I’m glad everyone has confirmed my thoughts on him and the situation!

OP posts:
AnswerYourPhone · 05/06/2020 16:36

He's probably just making sure you know how lucky you are to have him...because you know, h us ex was a supermodel...So you can be replaced. He's setting up his expectations for you nicely.

redcarbluecar · 05/06/2020 16:37

Well you’ve just had your 200th YANBU. It’s looking like a landslide!

Msmcc1212 · 05/06/2020 16:42

Yes!

BacklashStarts · 05/06/2020 16:43

You car sounds fitter than him!

Candyfloss99 · 05/06/2020 16:46

Someone started telling me about their ex like this once. Luckily it was the first date so I could say I wasn't interested and walked out!

TheVanguardSix · 05/06/2020 16:55

Oh my. I wonder what he's feeling so inferior about?
He must have a paperclip for a penis or 5 nipples, something like that. I cannot stand men like this. I once made the terrible mistake of sleeping with a man after two dates who proceeded to give me a post-coital geography test. Capital of Eritrea. Go! And also a binary number/decimal equivalent test. What. A. Dick! He finished by telling me my feet were like flippers. I took my flippers and got the flop out of there. Grin

handslikecowstits · 05/06/2020 17:00

I'd rather fuck the car than him TBH.

TheVanguardSix · 05/06/2020 17:01

Oh! I forgot to mention that he kept banging on about his ex's body, how she was so tiny, he made her wear stiletto boots and bend over his very high bed while he stood back and admired her thigh gap. There was something about her putting her boot inside the bed. I can't remember. It was like some fucked up version of the Princess and the Pea.
I blame the parents. These guys are just raised wrong!

SunshineOverStress · 05/06/2020 19:56

@TheVanguardSix that made me laugh you got the flop out of there GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
SomeoneInTheLaaaaaounge · 05/06/2020 20:38

They are either a moron or nasty and trying to wrong foot you.

shatteredmama · 06/06/2020 10:56

I’d be dropping him like a hot brick, he sounds shallow, disingenuous and full of other horrible qualities.

Nightbirdcackle · 06/06/2020 11:01

@SunshineOverStress this is by the by, but I like the sound of your car!

Muh2020 · 06/06/2020 11:28

He's a twat.
Bin him and ghost him.
That's all he deserves.

SunshineOverStress · 08/06/2020 10:59

So he apologised last week and asked to see me which I politely declined.. left it over the weekend and this morning sent me a voice note apologising again and saying he wants another chance he could see it going somewhere between us and we just clicked which he finds it hard to find etc etc...
I was polite again but explained that it completely put me off him so at least he hopefully won’t make the same mistake in future!

I feel rather empowered that even when I feel like I liked him, I’m learning how to see red flags and have better boundaries! Finally! Grin

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 08/06/2020 11:03

Well done! Sticking to your guns (and enlightening him on how off putting it is when they keep dropping their 'gorgeous exes' into conversation)!

Regularsizedrudy · 08/06/2020 11:09

Well done op! It can be really difficult to stick to your guns with things like this so give yourself a massive pat on the back!

CorianderLord · 08/06/2020 11:15

Gross. I think the most my partners have ever done is a 'oh yes she was tall and brunette, had blue eyes'. And only if I ever asked.

You know, general appearence not descriptions of their bodies or sex organs.

HollowTalk · 08/06/2020 11:26

Oh I wish you'd told him he was dumped because you just didn't fancy him.

growinggreyer · 08/06/2020 11:40

Please send him a score based on looks. He deserves to know if he is a 7 or an 8 in your eyes.