To ask what bloody weird things you do when home alone?

[ChaoticGouda]

Let's be honest here. We all let ourselves go a little bit feral when left to our own devices, don't we?

I'm partial to having one-sided debates with the dogs over any random topics that come to mind (sounds less crazy than talking to myself IMO! ). Also been known to slide around the floor in my socks after a good mop pretending I'm Michael Jackson, Hee-Hee's included.

I pump up the volume on Spotify and have a boogie and singalong to my favourite tunes, normally Girls Aloud or Queen. I’m so good I should be on Britain’s got Talent 😂 DH was agog when I told him and made me give him a demonstration!

Sit in the downstairs loo in the dark with my headphones on pretending to be in a rave, have arguments in my head with people I dont like, watch friends on re run (5th time watching)

Also make really weird loud random noises

I’m alone all the time, I think because it’s not a novelty I don’t do anything odd

I watch lots of episodes of Paranormal lockdown or Ghost Adventures

Yes to YouTube karaoke! I also like talking, or often shouting, in a foreign accent or language.

She sat inbetween my shoulderblades and started chewing her own arse.

Crying with laughter!

I vary often say out loud whatever my inner monologue is

Yup- I totally do this too. I also kind of have conversations with myself, we get on SO well and always agree

I really can’t remember the last time I was alone, it goes back way further than lockdown. I miss it so much. I don't feel I can relax or truly be myself and resent constantly having my family around me. My mental health is really suffering from it. It’s suffocating and draining yet they seem perfectly happy with never being alone somehow, it baffles me! I’d feel so much better if I regularly got alone time just to potter without being judged, asked what I’m doing, interrupted and having to explain myself. I recreate myself on the sims and build myself cute flats and homes where I pretend I’m alone and free to do whatever I feel like.

Sneeze with pure, unadulterated and joyful abandon. Often culminating in almost a sort of orgasmic scream. Beautiful.

@yelyah22 I miss this now I live in a bungalow.

This is hilarious. I’m sat in fits of giggles, alone in the house, unwashed face and hair piled on top of my head wondering what I can pig out on whilst I imagine the whole cohort of mumsnet galloping up the stairs on all fours

I have always done this, even if people are in the house and its never been picked up on.

I think I mainly eat a lot in a slobbery way and I dont pick up after myself.

I think I’d still be too self conscious to dance and sing in my own presence!

No DP or DH but teenage kids so

Get my vibrator out

@BathshebaAndGabriel oh my word not just me then! Was thinking earlier would so love just an hour to myself in the house lol!!!

I do love dh, but he works from home, and was going to be away in May and June, two trips, and with kids at school, I was going to just lie on the sofa and watch daytime TV and pretend to work. Then stay up too late and make the cat sleep on my bed.

Sounds very tame, but I love that me time.

I am getting very tired of us all being in the house together.

Put headphones on and strut around the house busting loads of moves a la Tina Turner.

Run as fast as I can up the stairs on all fours really whacking the carpet with my hands as I go - like a 3yr old

Eat supernoodles and sweets from my secret stash

Lie face down and motionless for ages just contemplating life

On my pre lockdown day off I would take DC to school, DH would be at work.

Then I would go to McDonald's drive thru and get breakfast, take it home and eat it slowly IN MY BED.

Lounge for a while, masturbate then go back to sleep.

Get up, play on iPad. Do 10 mins of housework, collect kids and pretend I'd had a hard day of sorting the house.

Bliss

If I have no child I get drunk and sing songs loudly. If dd is here and in bed I watch crappy telly on netflix

Sometimes me and the cats will have full blown 2 way conversations, they always reply in a Cockney accent (I'm Northern). For example:

Me: I'm going to tickle your belly now.
Cat: (in my best Danny Dyer accent) Don't you fackin dare, I'll scratch ya fackin eyes out
Me: oh you wouldn't do that to mummy would you?

Little daft things like saying 'ooo come to momma' when I'm getting a chocolate biscuit. Singing, dancing, all the usual stuff. There's a ballet routine I remember from when I was about 11, I do that in the kitchen & sing the tune in my head.

@LurpakIsTheOnlyButter
That’s what I call winning at life

sing badly to my spotify library
talk to my guinea pigs or the dogs if they are all ignoring me i talk to the ferret

I do comedy routines, in a geordie accent (I'm crap at both)

I narrate whatever jobs I'm doing like David Attenborough (The female is considering her options, should she clean the bathroom, or lie on her bed)

I love being at home on my own and doing silly stuff.

I go solo with my toys.
Sometimes I get my now adult sons childhood box of Lego out and build rubbish while eating a family size chocolate bar.
Last week I built two dinosaurs, which to be fair, looked nothing like dinosaurs on completion. Then I made them fight, complete with lots or roaring and rarring while the dog hid and looked confused

I also argue with imaginary people about controversial topics that I'm passionate about, that I would never bring up with friends or family as I'm too introverted.

I do a lot of radio interviews and am also called on surprisingly often by the police to make statements.

I compose long and scathing reples to people who have annoyed me on the internet.

Luckily these can all be done in my head so I haven't had to stop completely, but I am really missing alone time.

I go upstairs on my hands and feet. DH caught me once and demanded to know what the hell I was doing. I explained in my most dignified voice (the one I use for police statements) that I find it makes the stairs easier. Now I always do it if he'll see.

It's just one more thing for his 'list of reasons my wife is batshit' which I try to make sure he has ample material for.

I talk to myself out loud constantly, I realised I was having an argument with myself in bed one night when DH asked wtf I was doing. I love it, have so many articulate conversations with myself, I run a lot and even do it in fields 🤦