To ask what bloody weird things you do when home alone?

[ChaoticGouda]

Let's be honest here. We all let ourselves go a little bit feral when left to our own devices, don't we?

I'm partial to having one-sided debates with the dogs over any random topics that come to mind (sounds less crazy than talking to myself IMO! ). Also been known to slide around the floor in my socks after a good mop pretending I'm Michael Jackson, Hee-Hee's included.

Me nothing, I behave the same when my husband is here as not, even when it’s a bit odd at times,,🤣

My daughter however was alone in her flat yesterday and said to me today, “my throats a bit sore, I think it’s because I was singing really loudly for ages yesterday”

Me “ehrm, right “

You all have such rich secret lives.

The only things I do when I'm home alone that I wouldn't do when DP's here are pick my nose and leave the bathroom door open while having a shit.

@Thuglife I also do the Belfast accent thing

@Studycast

I'm rarely alone ATM but when I am, I pronk like a goat for a good ten minutes

Then I can finally settle to doing something creative that requires quiet and concentration and "getting in to the zone" .. bliss ... .

Sometimes though if I am cooking or doing chores, I entertain myself my pretending I'm giving the eulogy at a funeral.

No one else I know is aware of the term pronking!!

I know what proking is! My friend's dog does it beautifully when loose in long grass.

@Spannwr1971 think of the amazing dramatic reveal that awaits you!

I swear a lot, loudly and with no limits. I'm fairly restrained in front of other people. They would be very shocked.

Yes to the accents :)
Scottish ‘see you jimmy’ and ‘Aberdeeeeen’ are my favourite phrases scouse and Irish too.
I like singing nonsense songs about vaginas too ( im a bloke )

Well I'm not technically home alone as DH is working in his office, but I made a chocolate mug cake, plonked some ice cream on top and ate it in the garage so if he came down he wouldn't see me stuffing my face 😂

Fart as loudly as possible.
Masturbate.
Sing to myself in silly voices.
Not get dressed all day.
When my cat was alive I would regularly chat and sing to him.

I conduct all vocal parts and orchestra in various musicals. Les mis is my current focus. They're getting there slowly 😉🤣

I sing and dance too, much to the horror of the child who walks in or overhears it. I did get a whatsapp message from a child from her room asking me what shit was that I was playing. Naturally I put it on full blast then.
The dog even gets roped in for some dances. They have also started disappearing when the Bluetooth connection bleeps.

I talk to everything including the washing when I hang it out. It gets told not to crinkle.

Every day I go and sit and have some time with Kreey. I have a pool and kreepy is the auto pool cleaner who whizzes around doing it thing, like a robot vaccum but a blue underwater one. It does this fancy spinny thing so when I go out the first thing I do it's say 'hello kreepy how's about a spin'. I have no clue if my neighbour's think I'm having it off with someone outside each day because I get excited when it eventually gets up the sides (it's a struggle) , and I am shouting enthusiasticallu , 'you can do it, you can do it'

Sometimes I sit in front of the TV and don't even use cutlery to eat. Such a slattern.

And the worst one, if the juice is just about to finish and I know it won't fill a glass, shock horror, I drink it straight from the carton.

*Kreepy

I wander round the house talking to myself in a Venezuelan accent with outbursts of Rogellio, Rogellio. This is because I have been binge watching Jane The Virgin.😂

Interview myself, like I’m famous and on Graham Norton or the like.

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who misses being alone, my husband told me I'm turning into a grumpy old lady!

When alone I watch reruns of the bill and eat my grot bag food which is a cheese omelette with beetroot. Then I like to conduct experiments on how long I can dunk a variety of biscuits in tea before the reach the danger snap zone.

I clean the house from top to bottom and revel in the neat and tidy results. I can’t relax in mess and muddle.
I cook myself steak and chips and enjoy every mouthful.
I eat as much chocolate as I like too 😋
Bliss.

Dance. And basically read WHEREVER I want, in WHATEVER position I want without worrying a small child or grown DH will come find me and need something

It's not weird, but - I clean the toilet. I get a huge amount of pleasure (a weird amount of pleasure!) from knowing that it will be clean for my bum for the next however-many hours, and that no other buttocks and their output will sully its cleanliness.

Recreate arguments saying what I SHOULD have said
Listen to lots of hiphop and rap along not missing a word (I usually do this when cooking or cleaning the bathroom)
Raid the m&s food hall near my house and then pig out by myself watching a trashy reality show

I eat ridiculous food - usually M&S ready meals and a lot of melted cheese and wank with no care about the noise. Not together, obviously!

@Soubriquet
I was literally crying laughing at your typo. 😂

I don't get out of my dressing gown. I lay on the sofa and MN all day.

Haven't done this in years as I have a toddler but -
Smoke lots of cigarettes outside with a glass of wine whilst I listen to cheesy music (steps, cher etc) or 90's trance music.
maybe then read a book
Meditate for 5/10 minutes outside in the garden
Have a long shower (whilst singing musical theatre songs) do a face mask, hair mask, exfoliate, shave then moisturize ect and put on clean pjs.
Eat a huge takeaway on my own whilst watching something like Moulin rouge or titanic (or any other trashy girly films)

What I would give to have an evening like that!

Having read everyone's 'pretend to be dead for the dog' posts, I decided to give it a go near the cat.

She sat inbetween my shoulderblades and started chewing her own arse.