To ask what bloody weird things you do when home alone?

[ChaoticGouda]

Let's be honest here. We all let ourselves go a little bit feral when left to our own devices, don't we?

I'm partial to having one-sided debates with the dogs over any random topics that come to mind (sounds less crazy than talking to myself IMO! ). Also been known to slide around the floor in my socks after a good mop pretending I'm Michael Jackson, Hee-Hee's included.

I do quite a lot of letter writing, and also writing about things during my life, like a journal. So when I have finished a lengthy piece of writing, I stand up, and read my piece out aloud, like some tv presenter,or someone on stage. I have never recorded myself though. I live alone, so won't be annoying anyone.

Talk to myself. A lot.
Lie on my bed. A lot.
Dance, sing, eat like a savage
Make up stories in my head

Talk to myself, usually in a Scouse accent
Burp
Fart
Eat like a ravenous teen (I'm not)
Dance to music whilst mopping the floor and cleaning brusquely

I also listen to Christina Aguilera Genie in a Bottle a lot

Gotta rub me the riiiiggghhhht way

I like to look as scuzzy as possible with greasy hair etc etc. Look in the mirror with a sad "before" face. Then have a shower, wash my hair, all the cleansers, face packs moisturiser, etc etc, style hair, make up. Look in the mirror. The happy "after" face. Done this for years and years. Usually with commentary a la teen magazine captions circa 1984.

^
Omfg that's brilliant

'sad' face

@samtsirch,

Would your secret be a purchase? If so, what, a piece of art or crafts? Please don't say it's a shrine or memento from a misdeed.

I have been know to ‘drop dead’ to see what panic stricken way my dogs would react ...not that bothered if you’re wondering

I walk around the house yelling 'yeah just leave your shit there! I'm a maid!! I fucking love it!' And so on.

I love a good boogie with my dance partners... Miss Broom, Mrs Mop, and Mr Henry Hoover.

We may have, in our heads, got our Audition Video ready for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (my other secret pleasure!). I'm pretty sure they aren't looking for overweight British housewives, since the criteria appears to be super skinny young women with long flicky hair. But they can sure dance!

I narrate my cats life aloud eg Fluffy ( not his real name) is stalking a belligerent fly.

Drink, smoke, eat meals in bed.

I get up and feed the cat and potter about for an hour or so then go back to bed until lunch time, then get up, stay up late and then back to bed and repeat.

Don’t bother with meals, just eat a lot of toast instead
Chat away to the dog .. and answer for her! The look on her face..😳
Argue with the tv.. particularly waffly rambling politicians
Channel-hop to the American crap section... Murder She Wrote, Dance Mums, Say Yes to the Dress, so lovely wasting an afternoon with those!
Join in (on the quiet) with debates on radio
Tell next doors horrid yapping

rat to go to hell - quietly, they’re nice folk, their dog is not
Wear food-stained clothing and vile tracky bottoms - or nothing at all if it’s hot
Go and have an afternoon nap... a proper in-bed one ... especially lovely in winter months

I’m widowed so always on my own here... I try and make the best of it.

I tend to stuff my face when eating in front of people at the best of times, not one of my best traits, but they have no idea how much of a pig I am when nobody's around. Like needing to change into clean clothes after eating beans on toast.

I melt cheddar cheese in ramekins and eat it with a teaspoon

Go to bed early and watch crappy stuff in bed

I'm actually more organised and tidy when no-one's here

At the grand age of 36 I would like to confess that when alone I become the 5th member of little mix 🙈 or sometimes Ariana Grande 😱 I can’t hold a tune for the life of me but I definitely play the role well, especially whilst hoovering the stairs

Talk to myself constantly,usually in a Belfast accent (I am not Irish). Sing songs from Les Mis or Jesus Christ Superstar whilst watching myself in the mirror and often having reducing myself to tears with my moving performances.
Play hardcore rap and do sexy faces in the mirror .
Plan my funeral songs- designed for maximum tears.
I don’t even need to be alone, I have no shame

@Zilla1
It is a memento but nothing gruesome, it's from an awful experience I had and reminds me that I can get through anything.
No one else knows what it is, it just helps me to be strong.

Good for you, Samstirch.

I don't tidy up at all. If I didn't have a partner, I'd be living in total mess.

I pretend I’m on a tv show about my life like a commentary of what I’m doing,
Also I do gymnastics, practice handstands etc
Walk around in my underwear quite a lot
And I turn everything into a song, so I’ll sing what I’m doing eg “go to the loo then you can have some lunch, have some lunch” to a random tune

Kids are grown up and DH travels a fair bit so I’d often have a few nights on my own. In those halcyon days pre-lockdown I would order a tray of sandwiches from the M&S party food selection. When I collected it I would also buy a multipack of crisps. Those, plus some fruit, chocolate and wine would be my breakfast, lunch and tea for an entire solo weekend. No cooking, no washing up, just me, a kindle and delicious sandwiches.

I miss it SO much.

I talk back to the news. I don't watch the news in front of people because I can't help myself shouting at it. I like using all the swear words I try not to say when the kids are home! I tell all the things I hate in the house how much I hate them too.

And I put music on really loud and dance and sing and jump around. Usually while 'cleaning'

I have a bath in my small claustrophobic bathroom and leave the damn door open. Then I let myself air dry for a while before getting dressed

I also eat Nutella with a spoon. Or peanut butter. Or just break off a big lump of cheese and nibble it like a mouse.

I try to exercise and lie on the floor laughing or crying when I'm completely exhausted and trying to do one impossible abs exercise or another.

I put on Closer by NIN and stripper dance to it in the mirror.

Oh the shame!

I accept imaginary awards and do speeches.
I pretend I'm being interviewed for my E! True Hollywood Story..
Also lots of dancing

This is the thread I have been waiting for! I too drink loads, smoke loads, dance like a stripper & eat what the hell I want, usually chocolate and crisps and when I'm too tired from all the dancing, usually to v loud Chaka Khan I put trash on telly like RH or something terrible on ITVBe 😂