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MNHQ here - should we support the campaign to end ‘rough sex’ defences?

535 replies

JustineMumsnet · 04/06/2020 12:21

Hello

As lots of you will already know because their campaign originated on Mumsnet, the group We Can’t Consent To This has been running a campaign to end ‘rough sex’ defences - and we’d like to know what you think about MNHQ signing up as a supporter of their
campaign.

Their aim is to end a situation in which defendants can claim that the death of or injury to a woman was caused by ‘consensual sex games gone wrong’.

They say:

‘We’ve now found 60 UK women who’ve been killed by men who claim a sex game gone wrong - and in the last 5 years the defence was successful in 7 of the 17 killings of a woman which reached trial, with the man being found not guilty or receiving a manslaughter conviction. We've found many more women injured in what the accused men claim was consensual sexual violence.
Yet more women tell us it’s now commonplace to be assaulted and abused by men they’re dating, with 38% of UK women under 40 reporting being assaulted - choked, slapped, gagged or spat on - in otherwise consensual sex. That equates to 3.6 million women under 40 in the UK who have experienced unbidden violence in sex - and we know that women over 40 experience this too.
We do not believe that women can consent to their grievous injury or death, and will campaign until claiming this is no longer a useful defence.’
We Can’t Consent To This is currently lobbying to tackle these ‘rough sex defences’ by adding amendements to the Domestic Abuse Bill that is going through Parliament, meaning that now is the time to get writing to MPs to encourage them to support the changes.

We'd love to get behind this campaign but as ever we said we’d ask you what you thought - so please let us know by adding your thoughts here or voting YANBU for ‘Yes please I’d like Mumsnet to support this campaign’ and YABU for ‘No, I don’t think Mumsnet should support this campaign’. (Apologies for using the AIBU metric for this but it’s the best way we have at the moment to get a snapshot survey of people who’ve read the OP.)

Big thanks

OP posts:
Mollyollydolly · 04/06/2020 19:22

Can't imagine why anyone wouldn't. An emphatic yes.

CurbsideProphet · 04/06/2020 19:31

Please do support the campaign.

Noconceptofnormal · 04/06/2020 19:43

Yes absolutely.

Tolleshunt · 04/06/2020 19:46

This is a no-brainer, surely?

Of course MN should get behind it. It’s fucking outrageous that this has ever been allowed as a defence, and shows just how out of touch and misogynistic our judicial system is.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/06/2020 19:47

But it is MEN post-rationalising that argument, or coercing women into agreeing.

It is. Women who like being choked don't generally realise how dangerous it is or how unwise it is to give someone that much power over you, they think it's exaggerated, stop kink shaming me. Men who like choking women know the dangers full well, but don't like the idea of going to prison for "accidentally" killing their sex partner.

wheresmymojo · 04/06/2020 19:48

Yes please!

BadAlice · 04/06/2020 19:48

Yes of course!

LuxLuxLux84 · 04/06/2020 19:49

Please do.

BackBoiler · 04/06/2020 19:50

100% from me

SoupDragon · 04/06/2020 19:51

Yes

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 04/06/2020 19:52

100% yes

DontRockTheB0at · 04/06/2020 19:53

Yes please.

QueenJulian · 04/06/2020 19:55

Absolutely yes!

MrsWednesdayteatime · 04/06/2020 19:56

100% support

AlovelybitofsquirrelJackie · 04/06/2020 19:59

Without a doubt yes

Coffeeandbeans · 04/06/2020 20:02

No question about it of course you should.

aliloandabanana · 04/06/2020 20:02

Yes, definitely.

parttimepunk · 04/06/2020 20:03

Jesus Christ yes. Amazed you felt the need to ask.

Squeakycheese · 04/06/2020 20:06

100% yes!

StealthMama · 04/06/2020 20:06

Of course you should.

RosieTheHat · 04/06/2020 20:08

Yes. 100%

Graphista · 04/06/2020 20:12

Yes yes yes!

Please do. Rape is all but legal and murder becoming so under these circumstances.

NOBODY can consent to gbh or death

Cismyfatarse1 · 04/06/2020 20:13

Absolutely, yes.

Thecazelets · 04/06/2020 20:13

Yes please.

LillianBland · 04/06/2020 20:14

Yes.

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