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MNHQ here - should we support the campaign to end ‘rough sex’ defences?

535 replies

JustineMumsnet · 04/06/2020 12:21

Hello

As lots of you will already know because their campaign originated on Mumsnet, the group We Can’t Consent To This has been running a campaign to end ‘rough sex’ defences - and we’d like to know what you think about MNHQ signing up as a supporter of their
campaign.

Their aim is to end a situation in which defendants can claim that the death of or injury to a woman was caused by ‘consensual sex games gone wrong’.

They say:

‘We’ve now found 60 UK women who’ve been killed by men who claim a sex game gone wrong - and in the last 5 years the defence was successful in 7 of the 17 killings of a woman which reached trial, with the man being found not guilty or receiving a manslaughter conviction. We've found many more women injured in what the accused men claim was consensual sexual violence.
Yet more women tell us it’s now commonplace to be assaulted and abused by men they’re dating, with 38% of UK women under 40 reporting being assaulted - choked, slapped, gagged or spat on - in otherwise consensual sex. That equates to 3.6 million women under 40 in the UK who have experienced unbidden violence in sex - and we know that women over 40 experience this too.
We do not believe that women can consent to their grievous injury or death, and will campaign until claiming this is no longer a useful defence.’
We Can’t Consent To This is currently lobbying to tackle these ‘rough sex defences’ by adding amendements to the Domestic Abuse Bill that is going through Parliament, meaning that now is the time to get writing to MPs to encourage them to support the changes.

We'd love to get behind this campaign but as ever we said we’d ask you what you thought - so please let us know by adding your thoughts here or voting YANBU for ‘Yes please I’d like Mumsnet to support this campaign’ and YABU for ‘No, I don’t think Mumsnet should support this campaign’. (Apologies for using the AIBU metric for this but it’s the best way we have at the moment to get a snapshot survey of people who’ve read the OP.)

Big thanks

OP posts:
Rummikub · 04/06/2020 17:46

Absolutely yes

Greenkit · 04/06/2020 17:48

Yes

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 04/06/2020 17:48

Yes

ChateauMargaux · 04/06/2020 17:50

And a yes from me!

(Why on earth would you not??)

hapagirl · 04/06/2020 17:51

Yes absolutely. It’s in the interests of every woman out there.

QuantamBaby · 04/06/2020 17:51

Yes, absolutely!

022828MAN · 04/06/2020 17:53

Absolutely!!

LisaSimpsonsbff · 04/06/2020 17:54

Absolutely. Like others, I just can't see any justification for not supporting this.

RuffleCrow · 04/06/2020 18:02

i'm shocked that you even have to ask, tbh.

Especially given the controversial and unscientific claims that MNHQ supports unequivocally and that we never get a say on. Hmm

Suze1621 · 04/06/2020 18:03

Absolutely yes

evespudding · 04/06/2020 18:05

Yes please support this

MrsSlocombesPussy · 04/06/2020 18:07

Yes

TooSadToSay · 04/06/2020 18:19

Yes! Absolutely! Of course

Ohdeariedear · 04/06/2020 18:20

Please do.

QueenieMum · 04/06/2020 18:21

Please, please, please support this campaign. Let us know how we can get involved.

RoxytheRexy · 04/06/2020 18:23

Yes please support this. I can’t believe we have to say that we don’t want to be strangled to death during what is supposed to be a loving act

TheClitterati · 04/06/2020 18:27

Absolutely please support it!

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/06/2020 18:53

Please do support this campaign.

FannyCann · 04/06/2020 19:08

Definitely. Please support it.

footprintsintheslow · 04/06/2020 19:11

YES YOU SHOULD!

Jainy · 04/06/2020 19:11

Definitely yes!

Rosieredapples · 04/06/2020 19:12

A million times yes.

MrsFrTedCrilly · 04/06/2020 19:13

Absolutely, yes

Giggorata · 04/06/2020 19:16

Yes, no question.

stinkingbishop · 04/06/2020 19:18

Um, yes! I can only think the 3% saying YABU are confused by the voting mechanism and are saying the rough sex defence is unreasonable, which it is! I know there is a pro-strangulation lobby, which tries to position them as being anti-nanny state, liberal values, not policing the bedroom etc. But it is MEN post-rationalising that argument, or coercing women into agreeing.

As a society we understand that a baby getting the cord tangled round its neck is a bad thing, and can lead to lifelong disabilities. Our necks don't suddenly stop being incredibly fragile as grown ups, and can therefore lead to similar brain damage.

100% want MN to campaign for these amendments to the DA Bill. For me. For my daughters. For all womankind.

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