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MNHQ here - should we support the campaign to end ‘rough sex’ defences?

535 replies

JustineMumsnet · 04/06/2020 12:21

Hello

As lots of you will already know because their campaign originated on Mumsnet, the group We Can’t Consent To This has been running a campaign to end ‘rough sex’ defences - and we’d like to know what you think about MNHQ signing up as a supporter of their
campaign.

Their aim is to end a situation in which defendants can claim that the death of or injury to a woman was caused by ‘consensual sex games gone wrong’.

They say:

‘We’ve now found 60 UK women who’ve been killed by men who claim a sex game gone wrong - and in the last 5 years the defence was successful in 7 of the 17 killings of a woman which reached trial, with the man being found not guilty or receiving a manslaughter conviction. We've found many more women injured in what the accused men claim was consensual sexual violence.
Yet more women tell us it’s now commonplace to be assaulted and abused by men they’re dating, with 38% of UK women under 40 reporting being assaulted - choked, slapped, gagged or spat on - in otherwise consensual sex. That equates to 3.6 million women under 40 in the UK who have experienced unbidden violence in sex - and we know that women over 40 experience this too.
We do not believe that women can consent to their grievous injury or death, and will campaign until claiming this is no longer a useful defence.’
We Can’t Consent To This is currently lobbying to tackle these ‘rough sex defences’ by adding amendements to the Domestic Abuse Bill that is going through Parliament, meaning that now is the time to get writing to MPs to encourage them to support the changes.

We'd love to get behind this campaign but as ever we said we’d ask you what you thought - so please let us know by adding your thoughts here or voting YANBU for ‘Yes please I’d like Mumsnet to support this campaign’ and YABU for ‘No, I don’t think Mumsnet should support this campaign’. (Apologies for using the AIBU metric for this but it’s the best way we have at the moment to get a snapshot survey of people who’ve read the OP.)

Big thanks

OP posts:
CallingOnAvengingAngels · 04/06/2020 20:17

Yes please!

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden · 04/06/2020 20:17

Please do support this.

farfar · 04/06/2020 20:20

Yes, yes, yes.

Coffeeandbeans · 04/06/2020 20:23

There was a recent post on MN where someone said they liked being choked everytime they had sex to the point of nearly blacking out. She said it was safe as she was hadn’t died.

FiveToFour · 04/06/2020 20:23

Yes,absolutely.Please do this

Footle · 04/06/2020 20:24

Yes of course

terryleather · 04/06/2020 20:33

Yes, absolutely!

IsolatedIzzy · 04/06/2020 20:34

Yes please!

Atinytrolley · 04/06/2020 20:34

Yes, definitely.

TwistinMyMelon · 04/06/2020 20:36

Yes

R0wantrees · 04/06/2020 20:41

Absolutely yes!

DysonFury · 04/06/2020 20:45

About time.

FreiasBathtub · 04/06/2020 20:55

Yes.

PeskyEdith · 04/06/2020 21:00

Yes

BeardyButton · 04/06/2020 21:02

God yes. Would anyone say no (except abusive fuckers planning on murder)?

While you are at, get rid of the term 'breath play' .

Neome · 04/06/2020 21:03

Yes

Yes

Jane Longhurst

Everyone

HermioneWeasley · 04/06/2020 21:05

Why the hell wouldn’t you?

siring1 · 04/06/2020 21:15

Are there any other examples of a defence being not being allowed in court?

Would this be the first time a law has been passed to stop somebody saying what they want in their own defence?

CountFosco · 04/06/2020 21:15

Yes. What a stupid question.

EmpressLangClegInChair · 04/06/2020 21:16

YES. Definitely.

Eskarina1 · 04/06/2020 21:19

Yes please

BoreOfWhabylon · 04/06/2020 21:29

Yes, absolutely.

jokolo · 04/06/2020 21:31

@siring1

It doesn't say the defence wouldn't be allowed. It says 'campaign until claiming this is no longer a useful defence'.

You can make any defence you like. You can stand up in court and say you killed that woman because the Metatron bade ye, but it won't get you very far. The point is not that the defence should not be mounted but that it should not be successful because it is not sound.

LimpLettice · 04/06/2020 21:33

Absolutely you should.

Jingstohang · 04/06/2020 21:34

Please get behind it. It should not be an acceptable defense.

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