To ask the best compliment vs worst insult from DC

[PepperPott]

My DS is nearly 3, so he’s just starting to get elements of personality and I’m finding it hilarious.

Compliment - Eva Mendes in Hitch on TV - points at TV that mummy looks like that mummy points at me

Insult - whilst prodding my face You’re head is like an egg (I’m sure the insults will get worse soon.

What’s yours?

I don’t look like Eva Mendes by the way. But I’ll take it

In a shop trying on hats for a wedding DS aged about 3 says” oh you look beautiful mummy.” Everyone turns and says aww. He then continues “ Just like the fat controller. “

My DS skilfully combined a compliment and an insult in one little package when he said to me very sweetly "can I sit on your lap and cuddle you mammy? I love to cuddle your tummy. It's so jiggly and wobbly and cosy". Yes, DS, thanks to you, it is.

“You’re so squishy, mummy.“ Fat. Fat is what I am.

Playing in the pool with DD (she was about 3 and I was what felt like 9 years pregnant but in reality about a week off full term)

“Mummy, I’m all the Octonauts and your the blue whale.”
“You will be a great whale cause your huge like one”

“Mum don’t sing. Your a terrible singer. I love my singing so I can sing!” (She’s tone deaf and warbles her way through frozen fucking 2 theme song complete with the annoying voice calling needle in your year noise)

DS3 thinks I am amazing. He thinks I am clever, funny, kind, beautiful and really good at everything. He particularly appreciates, and told me loudly whilst in public recently, my ability to grow beard hairs. DS3 loves beards. So do I, just not on my fucking chin.

My dd10 said she loved pandas because they remind her of me because they’re so clumsy! She also complimented me about age 5 by saying she’d like to put my face on hers

😂 These are brilliant. I love how at this age they just spout out whatever is on their mind.

@DustyMaiden I’m loving that one and it made me laugh out loud! I could imagine my DS saying that actually.

DS is very complimentary at the moment (We were at shop last week and someone told him he’s gorgeous - so he said ‘I’m gorgeous like mummy‘). But he’s starting to get a bit more cutting in his insults too. I have a feeling they will get worse soon.

When DD was about 3 months old DSS walked up to me, patted me on the stomach and said 'we're getting another baby??!!'

I was a teacher to 4-5 year olds and got ripped all the time.

‘Miss i seen you last week when I was shopping with my mum. I noticed your witchy chin’

‘You’ve got teeth like bugs bunny’

Although I’ve had good ones.

‘ I really liked today I’m gonna come back tomorrow’

My 3 year old days I laugh like Mrs Twit

Bit she really me every day I’m her best friend so I’ll take it

"You're like lord Voldemort daddy. Lord Baldemort".

I lost my hair at 21. That one stung. However he doesn't reserve his barbs exclusively for me...

"Daddy, can you take me ice skating?"
"Nope. I don't do ice skating, you'll have to get your mum to take you"
"No, She would crack the ice."

'Mummy, your boobs look like cow's boobs'

At a children's party. Entertainer asked 'who has a beautiful mummy?' Dd 'Me me! My mummy is beautiful!'

Lots of typos!

@DustyMaiden

In a shop trying on hats for a wedding DS aged about 3 says” oh you look beautiful mummy.” Everyone turns and says aww. He then continues “ Just like the fat controller. “

Absolutely crying at this

DSS told me when I was pregnant-
“I bet you can’t wait to go back to being beautiful”

He tried 😂

My DD aged 3 or 4 (she's now 21): She climbs on my knee and studies my face and body closely and says 'You're very skinny aren't you mum?'
OOh I thought, I'm not as bad as I thought I was. She was third baby and I'd only lost a tiny fraction of what I put on during pregnancy.
'Do you think so?' I simpered. 'Yes' DD replied thoughtfully, 'you've got A LOT of skin.' (Most of it stuffed with blubber, evidently )

Also said I was so comfortable and 'squashy' while cuddling up

Just remembered another one... We were discussing relationships and I was trying to be inclusive...

"...in the future when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend..."
"EEEEW NO I DONT WANT TO BE GAY"
"What's the matter with being gay?"
"Being gay sounds REALLY BORING. No offense, daddy."

I'm heterosexual and have never given him any reason to think otherwise...

@Iwalkinmyclothing 😂 So kind and so cruel in the same sentence.

Luckily DS hasn’t spotted my chin hair yet!

My 7 year old last week.."I love you so much mummy even though
you are fat! "
I'm only a 10/12 I say "I'm not fat! "
"Well ok you're sort of medium..ish well you do have a jelly belly"

I blame him for being a almost 10lb baby though

My dd(2) has told me 'I love you'. Which was gorgeous until her next sentence which was 'I love bird poo'.

DD as a teenager "You're great, I can tell you anything". This was a MAJOR landmark, given the problems we'd had.
Then: "You're like a girlfriend, only fat and bald".

My 3 year old last week (who has been having a hard time with not going to the playground) “I love you more than the playground”

DS(5) called me a stupid old lady the other day. I wasn’t sure whether to be insulted by the stupid and old or flattered to be called a lady....

Ds gave me a great big squeeze cuddle and looked up at me and said "I love...diggers"!