To ask the best compliment vs worst insult from DC

[PepperPott]

My DS is nearly 3, so he’s just starting to get elements of personality and I’m finding it hilarious.

Compliment - Eva Mendes in Hitch on TV - points at TV that mummy looks like that mummy points at me

Insult - whilst prodding my face You’re head is like an egg (I’m sure the insults will get worse soon.

What’s yours?

A house near us has drawn a giant rainbow, inverted it to make a 'smile', and then added two 'eyes' as little rainclouds above it.

It sounds sweet, but it really isn't. The effect is somehow sinister in the extreme. The face just looks like Dominic Raab when he takes off his person suit at night.

Every time we pass it DD2 says enthusiastically 'it's you, Mummy!'

DS fondly calls me 'Big Bad Mummy' as in 'uh oh, Big Bad Mummy coming'

DD1 used to stare, appalled and fascinated, at DH in the shower and shout 'hairy, hairy, HAIRY!' at the top of her lungs. 'But not your head,' as a thoughtful addition.

My son was 2yrs and 2mths, and I was very, very pregnant. We would take a daily nap together, and cuddle facing each other until we fell asleep with his little arm across my middle. One day, almost asleep, and he says, "Mummy, you're HUGE!"

It was true. He also told me my legs were like a giraffe's and that my hair was like the pretty weeds that grew near the pond.

I've had "mummy you look beautiful, that top really suits you"
To, in the shower, "mummy why does your front bum look like its inside out?"
Both from my very observant 5 year old

What is it about children and beards!?!?
I have a random hair that appears about an inch long under my chin. DD last week told me that "daddies beard is moving onto your face mummy, but that's OK, you can join the circus like the fat lady in my book, you'll look like her soon"
cheers sweetheart.

She does regularly tell me I'm her best friend though, which is cute.

I think my eldest son once said my trainers were cool. That’s as good as it gets.

Unfortunately I’ve inherited my dads hairyness. My 3 year old pointed at my arms and said “look mummy, you’ve got beards!”.

Our youngest asked our next door neighbour why he was washing his car to which he repliednthatnitnwiuld make it nice and shiny. "Oh yes" she said, "Like daddy's head!". Neighbour and I found this highly amusing. Dh not so much!

Not my child, but my niece now 8 - she once told me that “I have hair like rapunzel” and proceeded to “style it”. And once after colliding with me at full speed and head butting me square in the boob she told me that I was really squishy.
I think the greatest compliment she gives me is every time I take her out/babysit, she either doesn’t want me to leave or she doesn’t want to go home, she even begged to come to the supermarket with me yesterday when that is her most hated activity. It’s nice to feel wanted 😂

A friend’s niece (4), after meeting me for the first time, told my friend that she likes me and that I am “stylish and fancy”

our dgs, age 4, to my totally bald dh - 'grandad, you do have some hair, its all up your nose'

DD1 used to stare, appalled and fascinated, at DH in the shower and shout 'hairy, hairy, HAIRY!' at the top of her lungs. 'But not your head,' as a thoughtful addition.

Out watching horse riding, my 5 year old playing 5 metres behind me with another child. I hear them say who their Mummies are and my child said "see that big mummy in the pink top, that's my mummy".

DS1 got me yesterday- he's 14 and Very Angry a lot of the time. I've lost quite a lot of weight over the past year or so. He wanted me to give him another advance on his pocket money to order a takeaway and when I said, no, you're already advanced three weeks and the house is full of food he said "this is because you're a fat person. You're still a fat person even though you're quite thin now." I'm taking it as a compliment but he didn't mean it as one

I hadn't told my then 3 year old DS I was going out, so when I appeared dolled up, he angrily shouted 'why are you beautiful ' at me

I love this!

My dgs 'grandad is too thin to be Father Christmas but you could be Mother Christmas Granny.' I am a size 10.
Once I was wearing a necklace and he said ' you're very smart Granny.'

I was flicking through the channels and came across one of those documentaries about extremely obese people and their weightloss journey. The lady in the programme was about 25 stone.

DS2 says "ow there's you mummy"
i said "no DS that's not me"
DS2 "but her face is like yours".

DS aged three. ‘Oh Mummy, you have lovely big squishy boobs’.

Not sure how to take that!?

DS once gave my boob a squeeze not long after I’d stopped feeding him aged nearly 3 and said “why this still all big when there’s not even any milk” (with suitably angry expression).

Thank you so much, OP, I'm crying with laughter, not laughed like this in weeks!!

Ds says I'm his favourite person in the whole wide world. And that I have a fat bum-bum! (I'm size 10-12!)

Covid has meant I haven't got my chin and lip waxed (they are peach fuzz, really). DS, 2, stroked my face and said, "Mummy, your skin is beautiful, just like a kiwi."

Whenever I put on a vaugely nice dress/jewelry/do something with my hair, DS age 6 will exclaim in an awestruck voice, "Mummy you are so beautiful!"

Starting literally the day we brought his baby brother home (18m ago!) he has also been asking me, on a fairly regular basis, "Mummy why is your tummy still big and there's no baby inside?"

My niece used to absolutely love Madagascar and said one day 'daddy can be Alex like the lion and roar and mummy can be Gloria because she's fat'

I nearly choked on my tongue

My daughter: I don't want babies when I grow up.

Me: oh why not?

Daughter: because I don't want a crinkly tummy like yours! (Whilst wobbling my belly)

Don't remember any compliments but that maybe tiredness from getting up twice with teething baby last night coupled with getting up early for school run 😖 although I was told by my foster child tonight that he loves my kissy hugs (3 weeks ago I couldn't even touch them as they were so scared) ❤️

bubblegum I am squeeing over "foolish outh"

it reminds me of the time my 3yo was apologising and he channelled the Fat Controller and said "I'm sorry my dear"

Teenage son on hearing me on a work call doing some negotiation "you're a right tw#t in work aren't you". I'm nothing like, but that was a compliment from the mouth of a Gordon Ramsey fan apparently.

His most recent insult was to call me a dense cabbage.

My best ever insult from DS was "You couldn't even give birth properly" (I had a caesarean). I oftenn think of it and laugh!

I gave DS 6 oven chips when he expressly said he didn’t want them, he told me even the cats hated me, I said they absolutely love me, he replied that’s because you don’t give them your bloody oven chips.