AIBU: boyfriend squeezing my hips

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

I started a thread about an hour ago and I wany clarification on whether im unreasonable after another poster is ranting at me.

Boyfriend and I are furloughed and havent really integrated in the outside world nor saw each other since lockdown below.

We have met up for walks only starting the past few days, and yes we have held hands and kissed. We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd.

Im sorry but I havent seen him in months and we couldnt go on any longer.
It's easy enough people who live with partners to claim those of us who don't are totally unreasonable to "touch" each other.

I find this very sad and upsetting that touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who you dont live with is taboo

[SkinnywannabeKBH]

What about our kids who are used to cuddling their grandparents. They know the rules, they follow the rules. They don't cuddle their grandparents. Grow up!

[picklemewalnuts]

There's so much bad logic on this thread. I agree some of the lockdown recommendations seem daft, and that some leaders haven't stuck to them.

However, that doesn't mean breaking them is fine. If you have to see someone you shouldn't, then do it but don't say it's fine because the rules are wrong.

Everyone is making sacrifices. KFC is benefitting people, it's paying tax and starting the economy up. It's feeding people, giving them a treat to look forward to etc.

When you see your BF it means you or he could send the virus somewhere new.

Anyway, enough. There's no point talking to a brick wall.

[MrMeeseekscando]

I am in a similar situation to you and 3 weeks ago decided "fuck it" we both needed it, we rarely see anyone else.
It did wonders for us, we were both depressed, I was drinking too much. We couldn't go on without an end in sight.
Apparently I'm a selfish horrible murdering bitch...
Was pretty much told on here I wasn't being unreasonable apart from the lockdown police who almost exclusively seem to go home to a family.

[Booboostwo]

You don’t seem to understand a very simple to understand fallacy called the tragedy of the commons. If one person walks on a patch of grass of course it is fine. If everyone in a large group thinks that it is fine for them to be the one to walk on the patch of grass the grass is destroyed by everyone walking on it.

Of course it is fine for you to kiss your boyfriend...as long as everyone else doesn’t reason like you. You are relying on others to behave better than you so that you can get away with it.

[MrMeeseekscando]

Oh. The "You're a bit thick aren't you?" Argument.
Wonderful.
Do you live with anyone?

[borntohula]

Although I have just read in The Sun that it's officially illegal to have sex with someone from a different household.

Good luck policing that.

[PepperPott]

It doesn’t make sense.

A couple in separate, single households meeting is no different from a couple living together. They will each work/ shop/ exercise separately. If one of a living together couple gets CV - they both isolate. If one of a living apart couple gets CV - they both isolate in their separate homes. There’s no reason for the disparity.

[Booboostwo]

@MrMeeseekscando

Oh. The "You're a bit thick aren't you?" Argument.
Wonderful.
Do you live with anyone?

It’s a depressing argument but sadly very perceptive and currently wide spread.

Do you think it applies to you? If, yes, I am sorry.

Is that the irrelevance argument you are appealing to there? Shares a lot with the previous argument.

[Everanewbie]

Strictly speaking you broke the rules. But its been a while now, and the hospitals are empty. Don't expect everyone to be happy for you and agree its ok, but I won't condemn you. One thing I would say though, if you or your partner get CV, make sure you comply fully with the track and trace thing and get tested. And do your 14 day lock up if you need to, strictly.

[MrMeeseekscando]

I understand it all perfectly.
I also understand risk.

I assume you won't answer that question then?

It's fine. I think we know.

[MrMeeseekscando]

@Everanewbie
One of the best responses I've seen.

[Marellaspirit]

I haven't seen my partner for 12 weeks and it's hard. We live an hour and a half drive apart so it's never been an option to meet up until the restrictions were lifted. Even then though we have decided if we have to social distance it'll be too difficult to see each other and have no physical contact. We both live with vulnerable relatives and even though neither of us have been anywhere it's a risk not worth taking. If we lived alone I think I'd chance it, after all, people in the street have no idea if we live together or not!

[Booboostwo]

@MrMeeseekscando

I understand it all perfectly.
I also understand risk.

I assume you won't answer that question then?

It's fine. I think we know.

I live with my two DCs every other week...what is the relevance of that question?

Risk is not objective. Risk requires a subjective assessment of a variety of elements, in this case many outside the OP's control which have to do with other people's behavior.

You should also know that claiming to know stuff is no evidence that you actually do - unless your are Donald Trump in which case you don't know that either.

[steff13]

Is he literally squeezing your hips, or is that a euphemism for something else?

[MrMeeseekscando]

I dont have to explain my personal circumstances and understanding to anyone.
I'm not in a position of power or accountability.

Did you really just compare me to the POTUS??
Oh you're amazing!

I live with my two DCs every other week...what is the relevance of that question?

So you, just like most of the people on here criticising those that have finally decided to visit their partners, have had regular human contact during lockdown. It's just interesting.
There's very few people that have been totally without human contact that have jumped on this kind of post.

[Booboostwo]

@MrMeeseekscando

I dont have to explain my personal circumstances and understanding to anyone.
I'm not in a position of power or accountability.

Did you really just compare me to the POTUS??
Oh you're amazing!

I live with my two DCs every other week...what is the relevance of that question?

So you, just like most of the people on here criticising those that have finally decided to visit their partners, have had regular human contact during lockdown. It's just interesting.
There's very few people that have been totally without human contact that have jumped on this kind of post.

I see, while I have to answer your questions, or you arrive at your own conclusions - very logical!

Not in terms of power, just brain power.
Thank you, that makes one of us.

Really good analogy, apart from the fact that my children were already in my household and I don’t need to meet up with them in the park to fondle them.