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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU: boyfriend squeezing my hips

141 replies

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 20:54

I started a thread about an hour ago and I wany clarification on whether im unreasonable after another poster is ranting at me.

Boyfriend and I are furloughed and havent really integrated in the outside world nor saw each other since lockdown below.

We have met up for walks only starting the past few days, and yes we have held hands and kissed. We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd.

Im sorry but I havent seen him in months and we couldnt go on any longer.
It's easy enough people who live with partners to claim those of us who don't are totally unreasonable to "touch" each other.

I find this very sad and upsetting that touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who you dont live with is taboo

OP posts:
Samtsirch · 31/05/2020 21:24

@Shoxfordian
They hadn’t seen each other for months, so she’s hardly doing what she likes.

burnoutbabe · 31/05/2020 21:25

We're just following the rules. Avoiding unnecessary contact. So work and shopping are necessary and seeing friends and boyfriends is not.
I'd probably have broken the rules If say a parent was seriously ill. But not to just see a friend etc.
Hopefully most people do follow rules to provide for those who don't.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:25

@Moooms it's meant to be an example for all workloads.
My uncle can go work in a supermarket with his co-workers and stand near them stacking shelves and having a joke and come home to his wife who works as a nurse.
Yet me and my boyfriend going on a walk and having a kiss is not okay?

OP posts:
ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:27

@burnoutbabe yes and some of the rules make no sense.
I was a massive rule follower until last week when I thought it was ridiculous that so many people are back in work, shopkeepers mingling and joking and right next to each other, so yes i dont think im killing the world by seeing my boyfriend

OP posts:
rooarsome · 31/05/2020 21:29

I'm with @moooms here. Thanks for supporting the idea that nurses are somehow the spreaders of the virus 👍 we wear PPE and as I'm in community I don't actually see my other colleagues

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:31

@rooarsome i didnt say nurses were the spreaders of the virus hahahah
Please quote me where i said this?

OP posts:
ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:32

I have not started a nurse bashing thread? Where has this idea came from?
I used nurse as an example of a job that is currently not at home working, as with shopkeepers, building merchants etc.

This isn't a thread about nurses? Hmm

OP posts:
ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:34

I said my risk of seeing my partner is no higher than people out working

OP posts:
spongedog · 31/05/2020 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:38

@spongedog oh my god. You sound horrible. Called me a 'F* stupid c**'
Wow.

OP posts:
Aridane · 31/05/2020 21:38

YABU to start a thread about a thread

And no one was ranting at you in your barbecue thread

Aridane · 31/05/2020 21:39

Oh, @spongedog - you are so going to get deleted

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:40

There has to come a point when we have to see people otherwise mental health ussues will go sky rocket- so i'm not supposed to see my boyfriend until a vaccine is created which might not even come? Yeah okay.

OP posts:
PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum · 31/05/2020 21:40

OP, I have been seeing and shagging my non-resident partner every day since lockdown was announced. We are low risk, and so are our DC.

I am not a rule-keeper in general, but in this particular instance I have used my brain. It beats me why anyone wouldn't do the same.

I'm not seeing my DM, however, as she is having chemo.

Common sense has prevailed all along for me.

PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum · 31/05/2020 21:41

Oh, and MH issues. I prioritise my MH over some abstract "people will die" mantra. I need to see DP. He and I are low risk. So are our DC. So we have seen one another every day.

Tedgy · 31/05/2020 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 31/05/2020 21:43

couples who live apart are forced to socially distance That isn't specific to couples living apart, it's been for anyone in different households. You're taking that really personally as if it's a slight from the government aimed at you and your boyfriend!

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:43

@PissOffStayAtHomeDogMum i think some people would be happy if partners went a year and a half without touching each other.
I've assessed the risk and it's low.
First time I saw in months the other day and i've never felt so happy. I needed his hug after the stress of the past few months.

And to all those who say ' just move in '. Not everybodys circumstances can allow that.

OP posts:
Alsohuman · 31/05/2020 21:44

i'm not supposed to see my boyfriend until a vaccine is created which might not even come? Yeah okay

You’re allowed to see him, not touch one another as things stand at the moment. There are people not hugging their grandchildren, their mums because it’s not within the guidelines but, like Cummings, you’re special.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:45

@WaterOffADucksCrack i havent quoted the government word for word but couples like other family are forced to socially distance.

OP posts:
ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:46

@Alsohuman i'm not special but i'm also not not touching my boyfriend until a vaccine is created.
It's up to the individual just like my 80 year old neigbour loves a hug from her son.
It's wrong to force people not to touch - awful for mental health!

OP posts:
Fruitsaladjelly · 31/05/2020 21:47

I hate all this “the rules” shite. It’s guidance. No one has the right to tell you who you allow to touch you.

ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:48

@Fruitsaladjelly me too. I feel like some people just love to police others

OP posts:
ChewaBewaNewaCewa · 31/05/2020 21:49

I was so stressed with potential job loss and money and a hug off my boyfriend and kiss made me feel 100000 times better, just as many other people would need that touch.

OP posts:
borntohula · 31/05/2020 21:51

Lol no one in a 'serious' relationship who wishes to remain in one is going to go without touching their boyfriends/girlfriends until there is a vaccine. Ridiculously unrealistic.