AIBU: boyfriend squeezing my hips

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

I started a thread about an hour ago and I wany clarification on whether im unreasonable after another poster is ranting at me.

Boyfriend and I are furloughed and havent really integrated in the outside world nor saw each other since lockdown below.

We have met up for walks only starting the past few days, and yes we have held hands and kissed. We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd.

Im sorry but I havent seen him in months and we couldnt go on any longer.
It's easy enough people who live with partners to claim those of us who don't are totally unreasonable to "touch" each other.

I find this very sad and upsetting that touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who you dont live with is taboo

do you think the government knows what theyre talking about when they also break their own rules

That's a different discussion. I was trying to back you up and you're all guns blazing. I'm not trying to have a bun fight with you but you seem determined. You saw your boyfriend because YOU needed to. You broke the rules for selfish reasons but I can understand it because we're all human, and it's really hard to just stop all contact for an extended period.

That's all the buns I have.

Yes I saw my boyfriend because I needed to - we'll agree there xxx
Didn't mean to come in all buns glazing, sorry I can across that way,
It's hard for everybody

*came across that way

OP just stop feeling like you have to justify your actions to strangers on the internet. Many people don't realise how lucky they are to live with their partners and obviously take it for granted.

Oh, because I said you came across immature, I’m now immature! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 How very mature (not) of you! 🤣🤣🤣

Please do not do your own risk assessment. Risk assessments should only be carried out by those who are able to see what the risks are and judge the pro’s and con’s! Thinking that physical contact and exchanging bodily fluids (kissing) carries no risk is NOT carrying out a risk assessment correctly!

Right i'm off to bed and as I said to a previous poster,
We've become a crazy world when we don't see seeing loved ones as essential.

Goodnight everyone xxxxx

Jenny Harries did point out right at the beginning of lockdown that it might be sensible for couples to move in together. If all these poor star crossed lovers had done that they’d have been fine.

Fine or split up by now @Alsohuman

@Tootsie321 i'm not going to argue with you. You clearly had a massive issue with my post the moment you saw it and you're clearly not open to a good debate as you stoop to essentially belittling my lack of judgement.

Thanks to all those who posted maturely and gave me a good debate. I enjoyed hearing other perspectives and i'm sorry to anyone if i came across blunt or defensive.
I won't be back to this thread as i'll just be repeating myself but goodnight all

True.

@Alsohuman not all couples can just move in together, i'm sure they wouldve done if it was that easy for them

Well that just goes to show how out of touch Jenny Harries is, @Alsohuman. For various reasons it's not a possibility for everyone.

@Alsohuman I can imagine all sorts of scenarios where it wouldnt have been as simple as that. It's a ridiculous rule

Alsohuman
Because thats a one size fits all solution isn't it?
Oh wait its not.

If we're talking bodily fluids and the risk that provides.... just step into my classroom for 30 seconds and you will see just how ridiculous the 'return to school' drive is.

Its complete nonsense that the government have decided such small children should go back into school. A smaller proportion of working parents work full time when their kids are younger so I fail to see how this will be getting a large part of the workforce back into work.
The government have shot themselves in the foot here. They would have had a much better chance of keeping infection rates low with older children (juniors) who understand social distancing AND releasing more parents into the work force.

Little children are grotty. Ive taught them for over a decade. I have one myself. There is no such thing as social distancing to a 4 year old. Doesnt exist. You cannot make them adhere to it.

So If I have to deal with 4 year olds wiping their tears and snot all over me 6 hours a day, 5 days a week because it's 'safe'... Then it's safe enough to see my fucking boyfriend.

Has there been a poster yet who actually a) has a partner they don’t live with b) disagrees with OP seeing her boyfriend.

Easy to judge if you live with your partner and no not everyone can combine households.

Not hugging your mum for 6 months, shit but your relationship will survive. Not touching a romantic partner for 6 months would end many a relationship.

There is no end in sight for this for couples who don’t live together. It’s not on the road map. People can’t remain celibate indefinitely.

@ChewaBewaNewaCewa such a shame some people have been so nasty on here. I hope you’re ok xx

So basically, we know best. We know we're ok so we don't need to follow the 'rules'

And if everyone else followed the same logic...

Don't see the point of your threads.
People will either agree or disagree but you've done it now and will continue to do the same. What do you want/expect from this?

Nanny, you're kidding yourself if you think that scores of people haven't been breaking that particular rule. In fact people have probably done much worse, like lock-ins and parties, etc. the entire time.

I really wouldn’t use the healthcare worker example to justify yourself.

HCWs are wearing PPE, are only going to work because they absolutely must, and many are in fact distancing themselves from their own families and have been for months.

This idea that we’re parading around riddled with disease and cheerily risking the lives of our families might fit your silly narrative but it’s simply not true.

YABU not to have shagged him rotten. You're seriously letting the government dictate your sex life? FFS.

We followed Jenny's advice and moved in together at the start of lockdown. I guess it is more tricky for 23 year olds to do this because at least one of you has to be living alone for the other to move in.

I don't think you can compare it to people working in PPE and having to go to work.

You took a risk because you missed him. Not essential no. But if he has been working from home too the risk is low.

OP I'm with you. My boyfriend could easily move in but he is going to work every day. So it makes no bloody difference if he comes back to mine once or seven days a week.

If you both live on your own, YANBU.
If either of you live with others, YABU. Guessing that you both do live with others?

"My uncle can go work in a supermarket with his co-workers and stand near them stacking shelves and having a joke and come home to his wife who works as a nurse."

...just want to point out that your uncle might actually be at higher risk of infecting his nurse wife in this example, rather than the other way round. She will be wearing PPE and probably be especially vigilant about hand washing etc. If he's not socially distancing with colleagues or customers then potentially he's at a higher risk of 'catching it' first.

I hugged my sister in law at her mums funeral. We both just said " fuck it , let's take the risk" 😢