AIBU: boyfriend squeezing my hips

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

I started a thread about an hour ago and I wany clarification on whether im unreasonable after another poster is ranting at me.

Boyfriend and I are furloughed and havent really integrated in the outside world nor saw each other since lockdown below.

We have met up for walks only starting the past few days, and yes we have held hands and kissed. We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd.

Im sorry but I havent seen him in months and we couldnt go on any longer.
It's easy enough people who live with partners to claim those of us who don't are totally unreasonable to "touch" each other.

I find this very sad and upsetting that touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who you dont live with is taboo

I'm expected to go to work next week with 15 4 and 5 year olds in an enclosed space. For 6 hours. Every day. Literally the worst section of society who are completely incapable of social distancing.
But I cant touch my partner because he doesnt live with me.

Absolute bollocks.

Fucking stupid cunt. And you are on here trying to justify it - jesus christ. And its not just you who is that stupid.
Now there is a calm reasoned argument from an adult!

As op says in her example i work in a supermarket surrounded by people all day. I go home and if i had a partner we would be intimate. He may also work with other people. Should we both avoid each other for months just because of an infintisable chance we pass it on by passing someone in a shop?
Op and her dp are rarely out and about and now go out just to see each other so are actually having less contact with people than i am. So what makes them "fucking stupid cunts" but i am not?

@ChewaBewaNewaCewa

Meh, you broke the guidance. So what. Like other posters have said, some people are going to judge that. We all have to make judgements every day, it's what keeps us alive (hopefully).

Don't let some random poster on mumsnet get to you, keep doing what you think is okay.

Yup. People have been scared into accepting intrusion into their civil liberty that would never be put up with normally, and if you challenge it and do your own risk assessment you must ‘not care about killing people‘. People have lost their minds. If you and your bf live separately but choose to behave as one household it makes absolutely no difference to infection rates.

It's about what is essential and beneficial to society and what is not.

Some people are at work, mixing with people and com8ng home to their families and yes potentially spreading CV. But they are doing that to keep an essential service running- supermarket, school, transport etc.

You and your BF seeing each other helps no one but the two of you. I'm not judging, I'm explaining.

You’re allowed to see him, not touch one another as things stand at the moment

@Alsohuman I couldn't care less what the "rules" say. It's completely inhuman to expect people to go for months without touching people they love. It's a fundamental thing. I have touched my teenagers every day, because I am at home with them and it's inevitable. I have touched DP every day because I love him and I want to touch him - but moving him into my house wouldn't be right for my teenagers. I could, according to the stupid rules, have combined our households - but this would not have been in my teenagers' interests. What's in their interests is a safe and stable household, with no changes to the personnel. So I have made my own risk assessment. None of us has caught Covid. And tbh, none of us would have been that bothered if we had done.

It's not logical. YANBU. We are allowed bubbles anyway now do you should be starting to spend 'quality' time together too. Anyone that doesn't like it can fuck off.

@CleanUpWoman

I'm expected to go to work next week with 15 4 and 5 year olds in an enclosed space. For 6 hours. Every day. Literally the worst section of society who are completely incapable of social distancing. But I cant touch my partner because he doesnt live with me.

Absolute bollocks.

This, too.

@picklemewalnuts but still i'm at no higher risk of spreading the virus than those essential workers just because i kissed my boyfriend. So no the rules dont make sense.
And as the previous teacher poster posted. She is allowed to be in a class with children all day yet can't spend time close with her boyfriend?

If Neil Ferguson, noted epidemiologist, thought it was ok I wouldn't worry too much about it, to be honest.

You've broken the rules, and it's not the same as a nurse going home to their partner because you weren't doing anything deemed 'essential'. Essential workers have been exempt from many social distancing measures from the start, and have risked becoming infected themselves, which, I presume, you didn't feel you were doing.

However, I wonder if those tearing you down have always done everything perfectly all their lives? Never told a white lie, never done 32mph in a 30mph area, etc. There's a lot of breaching of the rules at the moment, none of it justifiable by anything apart from the fact that we're human. But we are human.

@Aridane

YABU to start a thread about a thread

And no one was ranting at you in your barbecue thread

It's her own bloody thread she's referencing ffs, of course she can ask a separate question about something else if she wants.

It's completely inhuman to expect people to go for months without touching people they love

Yes it is. I nearly cried when I saw a little boy desperate to hug his granny the other day. I was pretty upset that I couldn’t hug my son when we went for a walk that day. It’s bloody awful but most of us are accepting it.

@Eckhart but it's not natural for humans to go without touch and comfort. I have stuck by the rules since March and last week I needed to see him, I was feeling down, stressed, boredering depressed. I'm sure i'm not the only person. And I am not doing my own risk assessment of what i think is risky and what is not. And no, me seeing my boyfriend is not classed as 'essential' but it's essential to me and my mental health and to me this highlights how mental health is often forgotten about

I meant i am doing my own risk assessment

OP, if you and your boyfriend want to have physical contact, crack on.

People who judge others for this are invariably not in the position themselves.

Absolute craziness. You know in other countries they have acknowledged people's need for contact and sex in a sensible grown up fashion don't you? E.g. in the Netherlands and in Scandinavia.

yeah, against the rules but I don't personally mind if people do that. I'm not against people creating bubbles assuming they only have the one bubble.

Why on Earth did you feel the need to start a new thread because of a comment posted on previous thread. You did come across as rather immature and needy on your other thread.

@Tootsie321 how did i come across needy?

By the way, you are breaking the guidelines, which you absolutely shouldn’t be doing.

@Tootsie321 and i started a new thread because I felt the thread was going off topic with someone talking about couples seeing each other being wrong.

@Tootsie321 hahaha sorry 'lockdown police'

Op if you think what you & your boyfriend have done is okay why are you asking strangers on the internet their opinion & getting cross when some don’t agree with you?
chill man

Re-read what you wrote on previous thread. Interesting that you didn’t feel the need to query my immature comment!

🤷‍♀️ if you aren't seeing anyone other than him/aren't going to work and live alone I don't see the harm