AIBU: boyfriend squeezing my hips

[ChewaBewaNewaCewa]

I started a thread about an hour ago and I wany clarification on whether im unreasonable after another poster is ranting at me.

Boyfriend and I are furloughed and havent really integrated in the outside world nor saw each other since lockdown below.

We have met up for walks only starting the past few days, and yes we have held hands and kissed. We havent stayed over each others houses nor dtd.

Im sorry but I havent seen him in months and we couldnt go on any longer.
It's easy enough people who live with partners to claim those of us who don't are totally unreasonable to "touch" each other.

I find this very sad and upsetting that touching a boyfriend or girlfriend who you dont live with is taboo

@Lemonpink88 other people's opinions wont change whether I see my partner or not. But everything is open to debate and clearly this partner-issue is a debate with many.

@Tootsie321 oh shush

"And as the previous teacher poster posted. She is allowed to be in a class with children all day yet can't spend time close with her boyfriend?"

Yes. She and the kids spreading it to each other during essential contact is not the same as her passing it to her BF, or the BF to her and then on to the children, during inessential contact.

Every individual contact has an infinitesimal risk. Always has done. It only works on a mass scale.

Like I said, I'm not judging and if you needed to see him to prevent a serious mental health issue then that's ok. It always was.

However the idea of lockdown is to minimise spread by stopping everything except essential contact. By getting physical with your BF you are undermining that. I mean, it's ok, other people are too, and the system can afford a little slack. It's not likely that you'll be responsible for an outbreak. But you could. He could have got it at the shops or off post. He could give it to you. You could give it to the shop assistant, or bin man.

@Tootsie321 you clearly didnt read my previous thread properly because it wasnt needy or immature at all?

@picklemewalnuts but it still makes no sense? If children are okay to start being phased into schools then it's okay to see partners?

In my opinion, yanbu.
Look at the end of the day, yes it's against the guidelines, however I've seen many people doing much worse. It's definitely something that each individual person has to weigh up the risks of. For some it isn't worth it, for others the risks may seem minimal.
However you also have to accept that not everybody will agree with you and your reasonings.

I know it's not natural. I'm agreeing with you. You sound very defensive. I was saying you've broken the rules, but that's because you're human. It's totally understandable. These rules are hard to stick by. You must miss your boyfriend like hell.

I don't know if this of one of those 'There they go, forgetting to consider mental health again' situations though. People with mental health issues have found lockdown hard since day 1, but we couldn't just not do it because of that. We're putting out a fire. Wellbeing, physical touch, jobs, the economy, dental work, being with dying family members, being able to see whether someone is smiling or not (facemasks!), have all had to take a backseat.

I'm sure most of us would prefer to struggle mentally to some extent than succumb to the virus. Lockdown isn't forever.

@ChewaBewaNewaCewa I have stuck to the guidelines, unlike you. You obviously don’t see a problem with breaking them, however others do, as there are some people (my shielded husband being one) who will not survive if they catch Covid19!

If you see that as “lockdown police” you are even more immature than I first thought!!

I voted that YBU mainly because the person who commented did not rant at you - you’ve completely mis represented a comment which was in fact fairly mild.

@Eckhart i'm no more defensive than others posters here. But everyone should decide for themselves and to some people touch is essential

@Tootsie321 and you seem quite immature yourself because you seem to see 'i am doing amazing at lockdown' as a competition

@Tootsie321 but i'm glad youre sticking to it well. Good for you.

If children are okay to start being phased into schools then it's okay to see partners

No. You're missing the point that some things are essential to keep society functioning, whereas you seeing your boyfriend was to keep you functioning.

@Eckhart nope you're missing the point that the rules make no sense.
And the 'you seeing your boyfriend was to keep you functioning' is an awful comment. Yes humans need things to keep them sane and happy.

As a previous poster has mentioned, other countries have recognised the need for couples to meet and have "adult" contact

Why do you think everyone should decide for themselves? Do you think everybody knows what they're talking about, and as a country we would have made a good job of dropping the R number by making our own decisions individually?

@Eckhart do you think the government knows what theyre talking about when they also break their own rules?

you seeing your boyfriend was to keep you functioning

Who else did it benefit other than you and your boyfriend?

People in London can get on a packed train but people cant see partners? - rule makes no sense.
Also despite public transport being a big thing in London, cases in London are massively down

But everyone should decide for themselves and to some people touch is essential

Then we’ve all been wasting our time for the last ten weeks. Why have we bothered if everyone can just decide for themselves. If you were single, you’d have no choice however “essential” your need to be touched.

@Eckhart does it matter who else it beneffited if it helped me?
Does KFC benefit everybody? Do we need fast food takeaways? No but guess what, theyre open for takeaway

Sadly we’re subject to our rules. If you want to argue whether the rule was necessary then that’s one thing. What you’ve actually done is start a thread to complain about a comment made on your other thread which pointed out that you were not adhering to social distancing guidelines. (Which you did not ). I dare say I wouldn’t either in your situation but I wouldn’t start a thread about it either.

But there does a come a time when couples have to see each other and a lot of people are calling for it? So yes I can start a thread open for debate about it if i want to

who actually cares, see your partner. it's a bullshit rule and I have said on countless occasions I felt sorry for people in this predicament. okay for people who live with their partnere to wag their fngers and froth over it - I would of honestly got depressed if I hadnt been able to see my partner (fortunate enough to live with)

@tartanbow thank you and it was really getting to me as I dont even know if i have a job to go back to so needed him.
At least other countries have recognised the importsnt of adult relationships.