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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you resent the shielded?

241 replies

BlackBucketOfCheese · 31/05/2020 18:03

I have seen a lot of people saying on MN and across social media that they now resent giving up months of their lives “to protect the shielded” as they have put it.
And that those shielded should show gratitude.

OP posts:
iVampire · 31/05/2020 18:17

If you unpick the messages from the government today about the changes to the shielding restrictions, you’ll see their motivation wasn’t to protect the individual (though of course it did that too). It was to prevent the 1.5million most likely to tie up hospital beds during the first peak.

Three months of not going out at all is really fucking tough. But people did it to protect the NHS and keep themselves safe. Just like everyone followed the instructions relevant to their risk

No particular need for gratitude in any direction, is there?
(Among those whose only possible contribution was staying in, whether that was on lockdown, isolation or shield procedures - not a comment on frontline staff and other key workers who did an amazing job)

MrsFrTedCrilly · 31/05/2020 18:17

Oh dear god why would you resent anyone? Being in lockdown has protected us all, by reducing transmission rate of the virus. No one is enjoying their loss of liberty and normal life.
The only people I think badly of are the tosspot Tory government and their toadies.

saraclara · 31/05/2020 18:18

I had to isolate for a week when I had symptoms (just a cough). I was climbing the walls by day five.

How anyone can resent those who've been trapped in their homes since March, I just don't understand. They must be sociopaths.

ShinyMe · 31/05/2020 18:19

What I have noticed in a lot of threads here and in work conversations etc is that an awful lot of people seem to think the shielded group are all elderly and disabled and infirm, and likely to die soon anyway, which is obviously rubbish.

Lots of shielded people are young and have full time jobs, and should be expected to live a normal life span, and shielding has been absolutely the right thing to do to try and get them safely through this.

Tatty101 · 31/05/2020 18:19

@Useruseruserusee

Not at all and anyone thinking that needs to take a good long look at their morals.

Another thing that annoys me is this assumption that anyone shielding is on death’s door already. It’s a sneaky way to make their lives seem less valuable and less worth saving.

Totally agree with this.

I'm on the shielded list. I'm in my late 20s, work full time, have a DP and I'm studying at Uni at night classes in usual times.

"Shielded people" are a part of this society that is scared, trapped inside and haven't seen family or friends for months.

Original poster
BlackBucketOfCheese · 31/05/2020 18:19

But I do resent people who have left work and been off all this time on full pay who have posted how they are loving being off and have been here there and everywhere when the are supposed to shield.

How many of those do you know? Genuine question.

OP posts:
PickUpAPickUpAPenguin · 31/05/2020 18:20

No not at all. I have read that some housebound people resent the people out and about but no clue if that's a social media trope

It suits the government for everybody to be against each other - furloughed vs working, people obeying rules vs people flouting rules, people following guidelines strictly vs people following guidelines loosely, people going out vs people staying in etc

PilatesPeach · 31/05/2020 18:20

No I don't resent them at all. The shielded are those with already serious & potentially life threatening illnesses whose risk of death or severe illness if they catch Covid19 is extremely high. I feel enormous sympathy for them and am thankful I am not in that category. I cannot imagine how difficult and lonely life might have been for them.

FourTeaFallOut · 31/05/2020 18:20

Arh the beginning of this there were plenty of people suggesting that we shouldn't include those who are shielding in the covid mortality stats as we were all dying with it and not because of it. I mean, seriously? It was as callous as it was ignorant but it was frequently said and barely challenged.

NameChange84 · 31/05/2020 18:21

I’ve seen people being called crazy for thinking that.

I take it they’ve never even seen a shielding letter then. It tells the recipient that they are advised to shield because they are likely to require hospitalisation should they contract the virus. The government effectively took almost 2 million people and confined them to their homes, often completely alone, so that they didn’t take up spaces in hospital that the non shielders might need. The shielders have paid a massive personal price.

I’m finding it hard to believe that people can be such utter twats.

Port1aCastis · 31/05/2020 18:22

Being shut in for weeks and people should show gratitude yeah right what a lot of rubbish, I feel sorry for anyone who hasn't budged from their home for weeks on end and yes they shouldn't have to read that shite

Kitcat47 · 31/05/2020 18:23

@BlackBucketOfCheese quite a few!! The people at work are so fed up.

Bluntness100 · 31/05/2020 18:23

I think you’re misinterpreting what’s being said op. No one resents they shielded, no one at all.

What’s resented is people having to stay home to protect them, when all that’s required is they themselves stay home.

It’s more a resentment of the policy. It is not a resentment of the people who are shielded

NotAnotherUserNumber · 31/05/2020 18:24

@FudgeBrownie2019

No. I resent that our Government are so desperate to make the Cummings story go away they're pushing the shielded out of shielding before it's scientifically safe for them to do so. That's where my resentment is directed.
We aren’t being pushed out of shielding. The government has just recognised that some people shielding are suffering greatly from not being able to go outside. Given that we now know that transmission is low outdoors if you stay away from other people and the rate of transmission is currently lower, they have said that shielded people can leave their homes and go outside if they want to.

They have made it very clear that this is an individual choice and just a small change about going outside, shielding itself is not ending.

Original poster
BlackBucketOfCheese · 31/05/2020 18:24

the beginning of this there were plenty of people suggesting that we shouldn't include those who are shielding in the covid mortality stats as we were all dying with it and not because of it

I saw plenty of this too.

Along with “my child can’t do their A Levels, your lives aren’t worth their education.
Protect yourself, don’t ask us to do it for you!”

OP posts:
FourTeaFallOut · 31/05/2020 18:24

It's funny you say that Bluntness because there's never been a thread yet where you haven't been the one stoking the resentment.

Original poster
BlackBucketOfCheese · 31/05/2020 18:25

Kitcat47

To balance it out, I don’t know any shielded doing that.

OP posts:
Saturdayrabbit42 · 31/05/2020 18:28

This is awful...lockdown was to protect the nhs, not the shielded...our 3 year old son is shielded and by extension so are we as he cannot socially distance from us...it’s been a really tough and frightening time...I really despair sometimes!!!

loubieloo4 · 31/05/2020 18:28

I would be horrified if anyone resented my amazing dh (39) who is dying of stage 4 bowel cancer with a life expectancy of less than 12 months.

His last months of life being stuck at home without seeing loved ones and friends possibly before he dies.

Walk a mile in our shoes, maybe ask my children what they think

Original poster
BlackBucketOfCheese · 31/05/2020 18:28

Bluntness100

Oh Blutness has spoken! Ding dong, head girl in session.
I am not misinterpreting.

“I resent giving up my social life and my child’s education for your illness”
Not really much to misinterpret there.

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 31/05/2020 18:29

What? Never heard anyone express that opinion.

GalesThisMorning · 31/05/2020 18:29

@Bluntness100

I think you’re misinterpreting what’s being said op. No one resents they shielded, no one at all.

What’s resented is people having to stay home to protect them, when all that’s required is they themselves stay home.

It’s more a resentment of the policy. It is not a resentment of the people who are shielded

So how long exactly would you like these million or so to stay indoors? Rather than the short, sharp, concerted effort required to get the R number low enough that everyone could be part of active society you want a few million to just opt out? And of course their families.

Nice one.

NameChange84 · 31/05/2020 18:29

@Bluntness100

When has the message ever been “stay home to protect the shielded”?

The message was “stay home,
protect the NHS”

The very small percentage of the country that is on the official government shielding list have been staying home and not seeing anyone. They aren’t allowed to go out to buy shopping or medication. Those who don’t live alone have even been advised to social distance from the others in their household and confine themselves to one room, or share cutlery.

The general public staying home was to stop the spread and prevent the NHS becoming overwhelmed. Not to protect those most likely of dying. Why don’t people get that?

formerbabe · 31/05/2020 18:31

It's an odd way to phrase it.

I am not resentful of the vulnerable.

I am resentful that my children's education, social life and mental health is seen as so unimportant by society. It's certainly been interesting to see how the UK views children and young people.

Ze1tGeist · 31/05/2020 18:31

i’ve been indoors for 76 days now.

i’d rather have my health - i’m shielding because my health is generally so shit that covid would cause me huge complications and would potentially kill me.

i’m disabled. i was housebound before shielding. i’m 47. does anyone want to swap?