AIBU to give my kids to my folks for 4 nights?

[Poorpigletsrevenge]

I need help decided what to do and I’m confused by the conflicting restrictions/guidance.

My Father has a lung condition and I made them isolate a week earlier than official guidance. If he gets Covid, he will die.

My Mother is missing her grandkids so much that she says this kind of life is not worth living.

At the moment DH and I are working entirely from home and I’m not sending the kids back to school too September.

If we totally isolate for the next 14 days can I then take the kids over To my parents for cuddles and let them stay for 4 nights?

I will have to return to the office eventually, so it’s kind of now or never, as we’d not be able to totally isolate again for 2 weeks In the future.

I’m nervous and confused about whether this is a risk/ok.

Vote:

YABU - Don’t let them have the Kids.
YANBU - Let the kids go.

💯 let the kids go

@Mammaaof but why is the OP singularly making you so angry? If they isolate, go, come back, isolate and GP are isolating anyway, how is it going to affect anyone else?

I would honestly feel more guilty of my father died in such miserable conditions and I'd refused to let him have the grandkids visit. The rest of it is down to his choice. I only had to isolate for one week and I was climbing the walls. He's done ten weeks already and could have another six months to go. His mental health is probably more important to him now than his physical health.

The only thing I'd be really careful of is that the children don't get to realise that if he gets COVID it could be down to them. So that will take very careful explanations of why they're isolating, and also avoiding them getting to know the timescale between exposure and symptoms. You WILL have to lie to them if he gets symptoms within a week or so of them coming back home, and they wonder if they gave it to them. It's highly unlikely they will, but you do need to give some thought to how you manage it if's possible they did.

You are really annoying me as do you not think that everyone would love their children to see their grandparents but due to LOCKDOWN can't! Then you come along thinking your so special that you are above the rules. Well I hope Karma comes back to bite you. Selfish selfish person.

@Mammaaof it's not the OP who wants their children to see their grandparents. It's the grandparents who are desperate to see their grandchildren. THEY are the ones suggesting this. Not OP.

@Tailoff

All get tested, isolate for 2 weeks then take the kids.

Then test kids and Grandparents, isolate them for 2 weeks then bring home. Or just follow the current guidance and don't do it.

I dropped the children over to my parents’ house today and I’m so very glad we’ve gone ahead. They’ve confirmed they know the risk and the kids were so excited to see them. I get them back Monday morning.

My Dad welled up when the kids cuddled him and he’s certain he wants to take the risk.

However you are managing your lockdown, I wish you all the best

So did you all completely self isolate beforehand? How would you feel if your dad gets ill?

Mammaaof

You’d really get pissed off with me, my mum lives 10 doors away from me, alone and I’ve seen her every day since lockdown began in my house and so have my children. We risked no one but ourselves and don’t regret it.

OP, I think you’ve made the right choice.

Well done, @Poorpigletsrevenge ! I hope everyone has a lovely visit. It is overwhelmingly unlikely that anyone will be harmed by your taking this sensible decision.

Everytime you get in a car (just for a common example) you risk yourself, hour children and others, and yet almost no one thinks anything of it. It is a matter of balancing risks and benefits.

@AragornsManlyStubble have you or your DM not been anywhere else since lockdown began eg shops, work? Is there a reason you need to see her everyday?

I suppose in the OP’s situation I would worry about the responsibility she is inadvertently putting on the children if their grandad gets ill. Because they are the only ones staying, if their grandad gets ill, and according to the OP he would die. would they not work out that that was due to them. Obviously no-one would be blaming them but unless they were toddlers or babies they would work out that they had bought the virus to the house.

We’ve done our weekly shopping together, as we did every week as I have no way to get shopping for 6 people home as I don’t drive, particularly if I’m stocking for a full week to minimise ‘popping out.’ Not been in close proximity to anyone at any time. We pretty much live together as usually spend all day everyday with her when the routine is normal. She just happens to sleep in a room 10 doors down the road. Neither of us, nor the children have had one symptom. We made the decision based on what we felt was appropriate for our situation and would have accepted what consequences came our way.

I suppose you have become a support bubble @AragornsManlyStubble