AIBU to give my kids to my folks for 4 nights?

[Poorpigletsrevenge]

I need help decided what to do and I’m confused by the conflicting restrictions/guidance.

My Father has a lung condition and I made them isolate a week earlier than official guidance. If he gets Covid, he will die.

My Mother is missing her grandkids so much that she says this kind of life is not worth living.

At the moment DH and I are working entirely from home and I’m not sending the kids back to school too September.

If we totally isolate for the next 14 days can I then take the kids over To my parents for cuddles and let them stay for 4 nights?

I will have to return to the office eventually, so it’s kind of now or never, as we’d not be able to totally isolate again for 2 weeks In the future.

I’m nervous and confused about whether this is a risk/ok.

Vote:

YABU - Don’t let them have the Kids.
YANBU - Let the kids go.

We do this. I have a daughter with SEN. Her Godparents are her additional carers through her EHCP.

They isolate completely for 14 days, I then drive over to drop her off. She stays for 14 days and then returns home. They have two weeks of normal social distancing before it all starts again.

If you are not leaving the house for 14 days you've quarantined. You are safe to send the children.

If you can isolate for 2 weeks first like you've said I absolutely would. I'm desperate to see my Mum. DD goes back to nursery on Tuesday so I know it will be months before we can risk seeing her

I'm personally more scared of a vaccine, then I'd be of going to see your parents.
A vaccine normally takes years to perfect and get right, if one comes out within months I definitely won't be taking it or letting my kids. God knows what will be in it or what the side effects will be

Could you mother come to you on her own? If you all isolated for two weeks, then she came to stay for a few days before returning home and self isolating in a room away from your father for a week (or even two!), would that be an option? Reduce the risk as much as possible.

Mmmmm, can't get over a life being risked for a cuddle tbh...................

@callmeadoctor well if the person who’s life it is wants to take that tiny risk, then frankly it’s none of your business to get over or not is it?

I think your approach is right. The risks are absolutely miniscule with the precautions you're taking. The reality for vulnerable people like your dad is a long, lonely future until there is a vaccine.

At some point, people are entitled to make decisions that others might not like. We still have autonomy at the end of the day. And quality of life has to be a consideration in the longer term. Who's to say that the boost your mum and dad will get from time with you won't increase their life expectancy.

You all know that this is the last chance for a long time, so take it. Enjoy it.

@IndigoHexagon Mum is my Dad’s carer, so she couldn’t leave him for a few days and she would not be able to isolate away from for any length of time if she came to us.

@BadTigerKitty Thanks, I do think this will be good for both them and the kids. They all miss spending time together and it’s been very hard so far.

After a good nights sleep and seeing the replies I’m going to say yes (assuming not temps and we all stick to lockdown fully for the next 14 days).

Will your parents be fully capable of keeping up with your kids? If one or both get homesick and need to come home will your mum feel even worse? Such a difficult decision and one only you can make. You seem to have covered most things in your prep if you decide to go for it. I honestly wouldn't know what to do either in your situation but I think the stress of it all would make me say not yet...

It's actually illegal now OP, so I would think again. Exceptions are domestic abuse, attending a funeral and work. As you've clearly stated none of these apply.

I was then going to say that. It's now illegal.

@MinnieJackson my folks normally have the kids one night every other week and one evening during the week so they are very used to being around each other. My Mum does all the physical activities and my Dad does the sitting and reading/Lego/puzzles/board games so they make a good child care team and they truly love it (I’m very lucky). The kids never get homesick as they’ve been doing this all their lives. But if they did want to come home I’d come get them.

DH and I have discussed and if isolation goes to plan they can have them for 2 or 3 nights, as I agree 4 is too long! We’d miss them!

Thing is though op, you've said that you would be devastated if your dad got ill because of you or your children. No one here can tell you that this will be risk free so whatever you do there will be a risk, even if it's tiny. If you genuinely could not live with him catching it from your dc then that answers your question doesn't it?

IT IS ILLEGAL OP SO ITS NOT AN OPTION!!

Your parents have been isolating. They don’t have Covid. Your family will isolate so you will be confident that you don’t have Covid. They are not going to get infected on the drive over. If you all lived together in the same house nobody would bat an eyelid. Your Dad is comfortable with the risk and I can’t see how you are creating any risk to the wider community. Seize your chance now and do it.

Just do it. There might never be a vaccine. If now is the safest time l would do it. I'm pretty sure it's not illegal...even if it is the police beyint be bothered. They didn't care about all the parties in beaches this weekend.mental health is important

www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/now-illegal-someone-another-household-18340807

Here's a link if you Google it it's all over the news.

Being illegal is the bit I’m least bothered about!

My concern is the risk factor to my Dad’s physical health and the impact on my Mum’s mental health, not whether it’s suddenly become illegal to spend time with consenting family members.

You are really annoying me as do you not think that everyone would love their children to see their grandparents but due to LOCKDOWN can't! Then you come along thinking your so special that you are above the rules. Well I hope Karma comes back to bite you. Selfish selfish person.

Shielding ends in June I've read? 4 nights is a lot tho my inlaws/ mum be sending bk after 1 lol

U should also know as of today shielded people can meet people in garden

@Mammaaof you’d hate me, we moved in with my parents for lockdown and my kids have seen their grandparents all of this time. Why are you so bitter towards the OP?
@Poorpigletsrevenge I’d do it if I were you.

@mammaof and I hope you have a very happy life and a nice sunny summer.

We clearly have a different set of values, so you do what’s best for your family and I’ll do what’s best for mine. If that makes me selfish, I can live with that.

Well I hope Karma comes back to bite you. Selfish selfish person.

Meaning - you wish death on her family? Harsh.