My first dd was an emergency CS, born in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Dd ended up in neonatal cc. Despite being asked not to come in, PIL’s bullied their way in the next morning. Weren’t interested in me, just wanted dh to take them up to see baby, their first gc. When dd2 was born, they didn’t bother visiting for several days because, I later found out, it was another girl!! They never ever showed much interest in her.
When dc3 was born, it was a boy. PIL’s again bullied their way in, only a few hours after my CS, literally waving their hands in the air (I kid you not) saying “we’ve done it, we’ve got our boy.” They actually didn’t even look at me, just at my dh, asking him to hand the baby over. I actually hated them, for their attitude, and the way they acted with their other gcs, meant our relationship never recovered.
My dm had always been there for us all, helping me cope with 3 children under 3. My ils on the other hand only caused work and would expect me to supply them with tea, coffee, sandwiches etc. when they visited! Things came to a head when one day they visited and, whilst I went through to make a cup of tea, mil lifted my sleeping ds out of his pram and woke him up! I had struggled for 2 hours to settle him and within 20 minutes of putting him down they had woken him and he started screaming. I completely lost it with them and told them to get out. Fil turned to me and said that it wasn’t my house (mortgaged, plus I had put down the deposit) and their ds paid everything, so he was the only person who could tell him to get out!!
I actually ended up leaving my dh as he couldn’t/wouldn’t stand up for me with his parents! If grandparents want to see their dgcs they should respect boundaries, if they can’t do this they don’t deserve to be in their gcs lives.