To leave ds

[Hockeyboysmum]

Long story short my 8 week old son is in hospital. We have been here for 11 days now and also had a few days stay a few weeks back. I cant cope. Ive now not slept a wink in 72 hours. He screams all night. When we here before the nurses etc said i couldnt go home for a night and leave him. I stayed this time because i thought he needs me -he doesn't he hates me. I cant take anymore. If he doesnt get home tomorrow aibu to go home for the night without him? Hospital locked down ao cant go out for a walk or anything and no one can visit so havent seen older son

What a beautiful baby, I am thinking of you both, and hoping for good news. I hope you get a good rest tonight .

He’s gorgeous! Hope you get some rest tonight

Oh @Hockeyboysmum, he is just gorgeous.

I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time.

Is he medicated for the reflux, does he have a cot wedge/ similar to help him- have they considered CMPA/similar- just because my youngest was awful with screaming and sleeping until 5mths when diagnosed CMPA. In hindsight her nappies were dreadful, but we never really picked up on that. Cot wedge and meds did help, but it’s so hard when you can’t hand them to anyone so you can get some rest.

I really feel for you.

Oh OP he is beautiful! Absolutely the right decision to go home for the night, you must
Look after yourself too. Hopefully you have a restful night and feel much better emtionally/mentally as well as physically. You are going through an awful lot and at an already difficult and isolating time. Do you have a partner? Half hoping you don't reply because you are already asleep

@lifecouldbeadream yeah hes on neocate hypoallergenic milk and omeprazole for reflux.

@Lifesabeach86 no partner just me and the boys. My eldests dad is still involved but bens dad not on scene. I did msg him after ben was born but no reply.

Ah, poor you. Obviously can’t say how his other issues are affecting things, but the reflux/screaming was a massive issue for us...... and the first 6 months were incredibly hard.

I think if you’re this tired, leaving him is totally reasonable. It’s far harder to cope when you are drained.

What a beautiful boy I'm sorry you are going through this alone Ben is lucky to have you, your eldest son must be pleased to spend some time with you.

I don’t have hydrocephalus but I do have a shunt for ideopathic intercranial hypertension and when I have shunt revisions we are given oramorph (oral morphine) and sometimes tramadol I’m usually in neuro hospital with many patients with hydrocephalus and they are given Iv morphine id ask to see the pain team and say you feel his pain is not being managed properly my heart out to you and your ds is in my prayers

Yeah im going to ask for a proper sit down tomorrow with everyone. Its so disjointed with neurosurgeons pediatricians dieticians etc..
Id like a full picture.

He is so beautiful, hydrocephalus is a very treatable condition, speaking from experience. There is a wonderful charity called Shine who offer lots of advice and guidance.

You need to be kind to yourself too and take breaks when you need them.

Very difficult situation though.

He definitely doesn’t hate you he’s just going through a lot too so please don’t beat yourself up about this! When my baby was in hospital she cried a lot and for the first few weeks after and I think it’s normal and can take them a while to recover from something so traumatic and when you’re so tired everything feels worse!

Go home and get some rest. Surely the nurses will understand and can take care of him overnight while you rest? It’s better for him if you can have a rest and return more refreshed, and you need the rest for your own sanity...i found it almost impossible to sleep in hospital.

Hi Op,

I was mummy to a gorgeous little boy who shares your little sweeties name,

I just want to say, be kind to yourself, please,

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and the hardest thing ever for my during my Bens last days was the fact I couldn’t fix what was happening to him,

We are all here to support you, if you need to cry, then cry, if you need to sleep, then sleep,

One thing I remember well is having to advocate not only for Ben, but also my other little DS, they both needed me,

Sending prayers to your little Ben op,

Xx

I'm in tears for you op with everything you and your little one are going through

huge, huge hugs OP. You are dealing with so much. What a lovely little baby Ben is.

Hope you manage some sleep tonight

How are you and Ben doing today OP? I hope you managed a decent night's sleep

What a beautiful boy Ben is!

I’m so glad you went home last night. You need to be well rested and to eat. It’s no good for anyone you, Ben or your older son if you are run down and exhausted.

I hope you managed a good nights sleep

@Lifesabeach86 he seems much happier today and had a good night. Asked neurosurgery consultant to come and see me later so i can ask some questions. Discussed pain relief with ward staff and they said babies generally handle it much better than adults. If he was in pain hed let us know. Settled today so hasnt needed paracetamol yet. Just taking blood to check his clotting is ok. Its no wonder hes anaemic with amount they keep taking!

He's beautiful OP! In his little suit...I can't believe they're feeding you so badly.

Go home! They'll let you back in a few days won't they? Your baby won't know...he won't remember....you have to look after yourself too.

I went home last night so got a bit of a rest

Glad you got some rest. You need to take care of yourself so you are able to care for your boys. Xxx

Your post sound better today are you able to think a bit straighter? Sounds like he had better night too.

@Mrsjayy yeah feeling a bit better. Still no real answers tho. Just took blood to test for clotting issues but samples clotted too quick so test didnt work. Hes more settled which is good but doesnt change things i suppose. Will speak to consultant later