To leave ds

[Hockeyboysmum]

Long story short my 8 week old son is in hospital. We have been here for 11 days now and also had a few days stay a few weeks back. I cant cope. Ive now not slept a wink in 72 hours. He screams all night. When we here before the nurses etc said i couldnt go home for a night and leave him. I stayed this time because i thought he needs me -he doesn't he hates me. I cant take anymore. If he doesnt get home tomorrow aibu to go home for the night without him? Hospital locked down ao cant go out for a walk or anything and no one can visit so havent seen older son

[Apileofballyhoo]

He's beautiful, OP. I hope all goes well for the three of you.

[LaGoulueRevenue]

Oh he is gorgeous, Hockey

[caringcarer]

Can you get to canteen or get your Mum to send you in food parcel? If not tell staff you are having a couple of days off to see other child and sleep. Before you go back do s shop, buy fruit, raisins, nuts snack bars and get multivitamin s too. Your baby does not hate you and needs you but you need a break and recharge. Do sorry your little baby is sick.

[Hockeyboysmum]

Thanks yeah both home and hopefully no more stays for a while. Ben is 18 weeks old now and progress is slow but it is there.

[PumpkinPie2016]

@Hockeyboysmum I have only just seen this thread but couldn't go without posting.

Your baby is so beautiful and it looks like you are both home now?

I'm sorry you had such an awful time and I am glad things are getting a bit better

[Fedupofitnow123]

He is lovely! Fingers crossed for you

[lifecouldbeadream]

Ah, he’s gorgeous. Hope things are a bit easier for you now.

[Hockeyboysmum]

Getting big

[Hockeyboysmum]

We're ok thanks. You?

Its not been easy bur we're getting there. Appts started for ben so getting eyes and ears tested and physio etc.

[MJMG2015]

@Hockeyboysmum

How are you & the boys doing now?

How have you coped in LD?

Ben is gorgeous x

[AshGirl]

@OP Only just noticed your thread but I wanted to add that you are doing a great job in unbelievably tough circumstances. Our DS was in hospital for 8 weeks after he was born and we got to stay in Ronald McDonald accommodation, but it was still fucking awful.

I actually found it worse in a way coming home as I was so used to the nurses being my back up, and I found it overwhelming being at home with him.

So, nothing particularly helpful to add but do be kind to yourself and take your time to adjust to this new normal with your little one. He is absolutely scrumptious! Wishing you all the best

[pinksquash13]

Having a newborn is tough enough without health complications, Covid and an absent father. You are both survivors and I'm certain you'll get through this tough time. Sending you hugs and courage. Your baby boy is beautiful and lucky to have you. These little ones are resilient, try not to feel guilty when you need a break!

[Carravaggio]

@Hockeyboysmum please feel free to pm me - i have a 4 year old with a number of conditions including hydro.
We spent 8 months in icu & I didn’t spend every waking moment there.

You’re doing a great job

[Ameliablue]

I wouldn't worry too much about things like tracking yet but you should find going forward that his development is more closely monitored because of hydrocephalus, so that you can get early access to physio, opthalmology etc, just because early intervention can make a big difference should problems arise.

[FairyDogMother11]

I hadn't seen this thread till just now but just wanted to say it sounds like you're coping amazingly and your Ben is gorgeous

[Hockeyboysmum]

Yeah im on the facebook groups. Corrected he is only 5 weeks so guess its early days

[Mrsjayy]

Are you using the Facebook groups there will be other parents who are there for you and understand.

[Mrsjayy]

You must be knackered and confused by everything that's going on his development delay is probably usual considering his prematurity and his disabilities ploughing on Is all you can do for now

[Hockeyboysmum]

@Needmoresleep we did get home. Bens doing okay and fairly settled. Health visitor was out yesterday and has some concerns with his vision as hes not following things. Hes not smiling yet either. All just feels like such a long slog.

[Needmoresleep]

I thought I would come back to ask how you were doing.

Did you get home?

DD had a similar tough start to life. It was about 9 months before her health stabilised, and a year before I felt I loved her, beyond my duty to protect her. And two year before she was well.

She caught up fairly quickly though I was warned she might not. The only obvious sign of early problems was that enamel had not formed on her back teeth when they came through. She had some social lags, because she did not interact with other kids until the age of two, but these sorted themselves out.

In many ways it took me longer. I held it together whilst I needed to but, in retrospect was quite shaken for a few years after. I felt guilty that my child was OK when others were not. I also looked back and realised I could have lost the child I now loved. I was emotionally depleted and some of my resilience was gone.

This is all a long time ago, but I really hope Ben is doing well, and that you are able to take care of yourself as well.

[Spillinteas]

Ah hockey I’ve just read the thread. He is gorgeous 💙 And I’m glad he may be coming home. Fingers crossed for you both. What fighters you both are 💗

[bellabasset]

I hope you're able to go home today and that Ben continues to improve. He's touched a few hearts here 🙏💕

[Ameliablue]

That's good to hear. I hope he continues to improve.

[Mrsjayy]

Fingers crossed for him

[PopcornAndWine]

Your little boy is gorgeous. Glad to hear from your latest post that he seems to be doing better x