To ask you to tell me the bad things about living in America?

[Witchofzog]

Ever since I was a child I thought I would live in America. Any visits I have made there reinforced how much I love it there (I am aware a holiday is not real life) but for various reasons it never happenned. I am now early forties with a mild heart condition and I am aware it is probably too late for me now.

I went to uni with a lovely woman who has literally got the life I wanted. She now lives in a sunny state with her husband who is handsome AND kind and has made lots of friends out there. And I am both happy for her and envious as hell. I know comparison is the thief of joy but today I have been unhealthily fixated on how her life compares to mine and I find mine sadly lacking. I will pick myself up tomorrow, re-evaluate and am already thinking of what I can do to make my own life better but still I feel sad that I never achieved my dream.

Please be kind. My uni friend is beautiful inside and out and she deserves everything she has - and she worked hard for it. But I really need to snap out of this somehow hence asking for the bad things about living stateside. I am aware my spectacles may be rose tinted so some perspective would be really helpful

@BritWifeinUSA Obama care really helped out with the health insurance connundrum. But not quite enough. I truly pray for a Universal Health care.system but I doubt it will happen in my lifetime

I live in NYC - Manhattan. Feel like I need say that I get 27 days paid holiday a year, plus bank holidays, and paid sick leave on top of that. I also had 6 months of maternity leave - the first 3 on full pay and NY state SMP after that.

Now I've got that out of the way - things that are shit about NYC when we're not in the middle of a pandemic .

Everything costs a fortune - my daycare is $2800 a month, a 2 bed, 2 bath flat where I live (crap school district) starts at $1.25m. Broadway costs a fortune, museums cost a fortune, want to go to a mother and baby music class? That'll be $50. I could write a whole post on this, but I'll stop here.

Competitive everything. Everything is an arms race/competition

Obsessive diet culture - I'm a UK size 10, occasionally 8 and I'm one of the fattest people I know

Boiling hot in the summer, freezing cold in the winter, not a lot in between

Brutal divide between rich and poor

It's filthy and smells horrible in the summer

Violent crime is on the up :(

I like it here, can't think of anywhere else I'd like to live, but it has downsides for sure.

@fullfurcoatnoknickers.....I could not handle MY winters city or otherwise. Especially Lockport and their lake.effect snow. I also.cannot.deal with a UK.summer. It's freaking cold and miserable

Terrible chocolate, bacon, bread.

Plus what everybody else said.

Introverted news reporting.

How about focussing on what you have here?

I was born in Manchester but now live in Washington DC. My husband is also from Europe, but we are settled here, with a lovely house and my son is an American citizen. Yes, many of the things people list above are true (health care inequities - although the health-care is fantastic if you have insurance, which many people do through their jobs, although of course it is horrific that others go without, in reality and in principle, guns, Trump, all that) but many things are good, and there are things that I always think "I couldn't live like that now" whenever I go back to the UK (Small house sizes - our house here is gigantic in comparison, being able to see a doctor immediately (for us, I am aware of my privilege), jobs that are far better paid here).

But let me tell you some things that might help:

1. American cheese - forget all the lovely local cheeses you have in the UK, available at any super market. There are some "fancy" cheeses here, but nowhere near as good as in the UK.
2. American chocolate - never have you tasted something so foul.
3. American crisps - plain, salt and vinegar, and BBQ, and that's about it!
4. American washing machines (even European brands over here) - DREADFUL, just don't get clothes nearly as clean.

I sometimes dream of moving back to the UK, living in a gorgeous place (Bath? Cambridge?), but I know that I would have to make millions to live in those places as I live here. Plus the weather is better - sunny summers at Martha's Vineyard, skiing in beautiful snow in the winter in Colorado. There is a lot to like.

@allfurcoat - move North to Westchester. That will solve most of your problems.😊

@KingSheathBelle...You guys don't even have real bacon. You have extremely chewy grilled meat. Not thick cut,hard wood smoked
Bacon. Your washers is a mix of the pork loin and pork belly while ours is nothing but yummy crispy pork belly. I need to make some bacon this week

And yes, as #KingSheathBelle said, the bread is AWFUL too (although I kind of like the bacon).
The worst bread you have ever tasted.

And cream cakes. I bought what I thought was a lovely cream-cake. Turns out it was not cream but lard mixed with icing sugar, or some such horror. Honestly, I walk around the super market here and, while I can get nice veg and nice meat (this is from a fancy supermarket - I wouldn't eat the horrific meat at some other supermarkets), I don't see one thing I want as a treat. I get back to the UK and just want to eat EVERYTHING.

Oh, and good chips are RARE. Good fish and chips? Unheard of!

@Ruthietuthie...I cannot compare the bread between the two countries. I only make my own. There is a great pub about 3 blocks from Harvard that has banging fish and chips. Of course that. Has to do with it being in Boston

@MissConductUS.....You live near White Plains? If I could handle the cold I would move there like last week

Some of these things aren't true - depends on where you are. It definitely isn't the case that you need to go to Church where I live! I am a secular Jew, my husband a secular Muslim, and we are part of a very lovely neighborhood, with many friends of all religions and none, and a wonderful community.

Nor is it true that university costs $100,000 plus, necessarily - bright children get scholarships, and we get tuition support through our work.

Nor does everyone have such a small amount of holiday. We are academics so have lots of time to do as we please (usually doing research) but for 3X the salary I would get in the UK, plus with less pressure.

I live in a blue city in a conservative southern state. I have very good, affordable health insurance, and can see my doctor whenever I need to. I never go to church, and neither does anyone in my friend group. Good quality cheese, bread, and chocolate are fairly easy to find. I do own a gun, but I don’t have a concealed weapon permit so I don’t take it out with me. Most people I know are not gun owners. A lot of comments on this thread bear no resemblance to my experience of US life, and I have lived in six states over the years. I will say that Americans LOVE an English accent, and I’m fairly certain that has gotten me hired more than once 😁

@RuthieTuthie...Most of these things aren't true.

@TannatTart....The only reason why I carry concealed there are a few areas I need to go that certain people are not looked upon as friendly due to the color of my skin. I only have had to pull it once and that was basically just to.show them the threat of you know what I mean. I'm licensed to conceal carry even though so live in an open carry state

@Leaannb, I agree.

Honestly, things are much better here for us. Much better.
Where I live is not this Church focused, Trump loving, place, no one I know owns a gun.

But yes, bad chocolate (mostly), bad cheese (mostly), bad cream cakes (from the supermarket, can get good ones from a fancy bakery), and lack of good crisp flavors.

recipes in cups measurements.
weight in pounds not stones and pounds.
obesity is normal almost everywhere.
old-fashioned in many respects - do they even have chip and pin yet?
and of course the GUNS.
and the arrogance, they teach their children that being American is the best.

@leaannb no open carry here.

@leaannb I'm about 30 minutes North of White Plains and used to work there. What's the attraction for you?

We have a VA hospital in Montrose that's not bad but overall it's not great. As a CRNA you could get a good job up here in a jiffy.

@Ruthietuthie...The only issue I have with religion is that it's incredibly hard to be Catholic in the American South and that was as a child and I was bullied for being Catholic. I was bullied for being Irish American if we were further North that would have never been an issue. Also,when I say Irish American I truly mean Irish American. Both of my parents immigrated from Ireland and I was born in America. My mom and Nan now live in Cardiff and my Father lives in West Virginia. I tell you this because I absolutely hate English chocolate. Hate it. Have you tried any of the Amish or Wisconsin cheeses? Very similar to UK.cheese and you can order Amish cheese and their yummy jams online. If you want a link let me know

@allfurcoatnoknickers, Amen to the diet culture. I’m a size 8 and have been athletic my whole life, but I feel like every woman I know over the age of 40 has a six-pack. I am dying to ask them whether they’re taking human growth or something 🤣

@MissConductUS....Everything but the winters. I had an Uncle we used to.visit in White.Plains on our way to visit another Uncle in Lockport, NY. I truly couldn't handle a NY winter. Not for all the money in the world. The UK in the summer time is hard enough because it's so cold. No way in he'll would.I ever and I mean ever work for the VA. Never know when you might get paid

@MissConductUS, Who doesn’t love a stroll down Greenwich Ave and a drive around the Back Country. It’s a lovely town.

@Wheresthebiffer2.....We have had chip and pins for years. In what world are you living that the US is so technology behind? Certainly not the case. Please remember I usually split my year between Cardiff,NewMarket and the US

Come to Portugal. It’s lovely!

I have had 3 friends live and work in US.
1 was shocked at only receiving 2 weeks annual leave, so lost touch with him quickly. No time to visit/receive visitors
2 was transferred with her large international company. Found everyone thought she was an alcoholic as she liked the odd glass of wine. She was in hospital having just given birth, when her manager came to see her on work related issues. Driving everywhere- if you walk people think you are poor or in trouble. She returned asap.
friend 3 has moved there with her husband (he runs his own business).Taxes are huge, health care has forced her hand in choosing a job, reproductive rights are abhorred (she works in that field) and people are always protesting and some of her colleagues have been shot. Out of pocket medical expenses are horrendous. Everything is a 10 to 15 minute drive, due to road system- no corner shops for milk. Bread and cheese are dire. She is very keen to move back to UK.