To ask you to tell me the bad things about living in America?

[Witchofzog]

Ever since I was a child I thought I would live in America. Any visits I have made there reinforced how much I love it there (I am aware a holiday is not real life) but for various reasons it never happenned. I am now early forties with a mild heart condition and I am aware it is probably too late for me now.

I went to uni with a lovely woman who has literally got the life I wanted. She now lives in a sunny state with her husband who is handsome AND kind and has made lots of friends out there. And I am both happy for her and envious as hell. I know comparison is the thief of joy but today I have been unhealthily fixated on how her life compares to mine and I find mine sadly lacking. I will pick myself up tomorrow, re-evaluate and am already thinking of what I can do to make my own life better but still I feel sad that I never achieved my dream.

Please be kind. My uni friend is beautiful inside and out and she deserves everything she has - and she worked hard for it. But I really need to snap out of this somehow hence asking for the bad things about living stateside. I am aware my spectacles may be rose tinted so some perspective would be really helpful

Terrifying that nobody mentions their backward, inhumane healthcare system.
Can imagine most of you,salivating over it to be honest - low taxes for the win! Fuck everyone else!

Most of this stuff is very untrue.

There are of course big structural problems in the US. But there is also a looseness and a freedom to it.

PP, Boston can be delightful. The areas around the colleges are generally particularly lovely.

Alas, however, I will agree: the area where I live has terrible cheese.

@stopgap I feel like people are either very skinny, or very large around these parts. I've only got a very middling sized friends like me.

I also wonder how everyone has a six pack , and how they have time to be so ripped.

That being said, since moving here 7 years ago, I have acquired a psychologist, a personal trainer, a colourist and a separate hairdresser for cuts, a dermatologist, a brow lady and a nail lady. When I moved here I thought New Yorkers just naturally looked all glossy and groomed hollow laugh.

@SnagAndChips I call bullshit on the hospital story. The maternity floors are locked down like Fort Knox, visitors can't just wander in, so unless her boss was a visitor authorized by her, they wouldn't have got much further than the hospital lobby.

@MissConductUS Can't hack the commute I'm afraid. My boss used to come in from Rye and it took her well over an hour because our office isn't in midtown.

Also, OP, my life probably looks amazing on social media, but I'm not instagramming myself schlepping my shopping back from Trader Joes or cleaning the bathroom. Pre-Covid, I was usually only putting stuff up there that was fun and interesting, not the daily grind.

@Musicforsmorks...While you have missed a whole he'll of a lot on this thread. Health care has been mentioned many,many,many times on this thread. Our lack of Universal Healthcare has very little to do with higher taxes. It has to do with the way our government is set up. Federal government does not have the legal authority to do it. Plus millions of Americans do not want the government in their healthcare. They have seen the issues with our VA system which is incredibly similar to the NHS and has seen,heard the horror stories over lack of appropriate appointment times and waits for care. You will not believe the amount of Canadians who.come across the border for care because they don't have the care available with them. Just before Vivid struck a member here was complaining about the wait for fall bladder removal. That's a next day procedure here. No waits for KRIs or knee replacements,hip replacements etc....Americans will not put up with that

@Snagandchips...Weird I get enough annual leave to split my time between US and UK. Enough to where I have to pay UK.taxes and IS taxes

@Snagandchips...Public transportation is an unrealistic Pipe dream for most American towns.We have a large area and everything is spread out to the point in several.cases one city will be located in 2 different states. Many communities are too small for public transportation. That will never happen throughout the US. Some cities due to have massive public transportation but the majority will never. It would be too expensive

I live in California, I like lots of aspect but here are the downsides:

-Life is excruciatingly expensive, think 2-3k for a one bedroom studio apartment, 25$ for drinks in bars, 100$+ easy for a normal dinner date. $6 for a coffee and 8$ for a croissant. (Got 4 croissants delivered the other day during quarantine the total was 50$ with taxes!)

• Healthcare is crazily expensive and health coverage even more so if you have pre-existing conditions.

-Gun violence and gang violence, my friend got caught in a gun fire 2 weeks ago and the person in front of her got shot in the head (she lives in a nice part of the city), 2 of my female friends had a gun pulled at them on their way home from public transportation. There’s been so far 109 MASS SHOOTING in the US since January 2020 we are only 5 months in! (And again it’s mass shootings so it doesn’t include shootings like the one my friend was in or domestic violence etc...).

• you need a car for most things. If you don’t live directly in downtown. Even if you do live downtown the city is so spread-out it take forever to go anywhere + in SF (hills, hills, hills!)

• There is almost no social help and social services, therefore you will see homeless People absolutely everywhere, including children and walking around some parts of the US can be absolutely daunting.

• Racism/discrimination, lack of social awareness.

• TRUMP.

Could come up with plenty more but those should be enough to make you realize that life in the US is not nearly as good as one might think at first sight.

Have all you experts lived here in the US or just think you know everything. No one is forced to belong to a church, most people have healthcare either from working or Obamacare or medicare. I laugh reading these posts how sorry you feel for us and how terrible it is here. Never been or lived in the UK I don't think your country is that much better than ours.

@Troels - yyy to Tetley British Blend teabags at Walmart. I bought yet another box of 80 there today. My local Walmart has a great selection of nice teas.

@User1471439310.....I split my time in both countries due to being dual.citizen. Medicare is for the elderly in their US. Medicaid is for the poor and not all poor people are eligible for Medicaid. As a CRNA in the US,as a US Vet our healthcare is shit. It's total shot and I'm saying that as a CRNA whose income would be drastically reduced if we had Universal Healthcare. We still need Universal.Healthcare. Healthcare should be a right. Unfortunately it will never happen in my life time

@mathanxiety...Get keys can barely handle iced tea. Let alone a hot tea. That shi t is nasty

If I ever read on MN, “I couldn’t live with the two weeks annual leave” again, I’ll shoot myself with the gun I can get on every corner. Dimwits.

@Linnimg...You live in an incredibly high cost of living area with an overwhelmed social.services system. I love across the country from you. I have a 6 bedroom on 62 acres in a tourist area. My mortgage? Less than 1400. Sitting right now at my local bar drinking a margarita and it was 4 bucks. Large Ventie white chocolate Mocha with a blueberry muffins every morning? 8 bucks daily....

@TomBradysLeftKneecap....In most professions that's a blatant lie. It depends on how long you have worked there. I get over 8 weeks plus

@user1471439310

You're missing the point. The op asked to be put off so that's what people are doing.

No one is saying that the country is bad.

My sister lives over there. She is able to return to this country to see family once every couple of years or so. Flights are not cheap, so she saves her visits for things like weddings. Funerals are usually too short notice for her to attend.

We miss her.

@QuestionableMouse...Yes.Yes they are very much so

@Tableclothing...I'm so sorry your sister isn't able to visit very often. That's truly hard

USA is a beautiful country with lots of lovely people and many plus points.
However, it's only a great life IF you have money. If you are poor, you are fucked, especially if you are a minority.
Health care
Workers rights are pretty lacking
Pretty much no social security net.

I think like any country there are places where you can fit in and places where you can't. Then sometimes you arrive somewhere and the next day you have loads of soul mates while other times you arrive somewhere and it takes years to find people you click with.

I haven't been in the USA in many years, but back then I fell in love with New York, hated Los Angeles and found San Francisco very pretty and the people friendly, but still not my type of people.

@Feelingtheburn...Most of that is not true at all. I have been poor and rich in the US it's pretty much the same. Just because you have money does not mean you don't have problems or obstacles. You just have different problems. If you are truly poor you can get free health care. You can get food stamps. There is assistance for help paying utilities, day care vouchers if you can't afford it,pell.grants to help pay for higher education and training. If you are just trying to abuse the system that's where you run into problems. Our government expects you to try before receiving public assistance. Nothing wrong with that. If you seem out the help it's there. Depending on where live you can even get subsidized housing (section 8). Sometimes that can take years especially in high cost of living ( looking at you California) areas. But it's there

The bullshit where they’re all brainwashed to believe that everything’s ‘awesome’.

You’ll need an extra job for the tipping alone.

I’d consider living anywhere but there.

@Coyoacan San Francisco is now nothing but a defiled cess pool.with literally used heroin needles,urine and shit running in the streets

Leannb are you a business owner? Your annual vacation time seems really generous if not.

If so, what do your employees make per hour?

Some of the outlandish comments are entertaining! I think a few people are watching too much television and not realizing that it’s not meant to be a realistic portrayal of the US.

OP I hope you get a chance to at least spend a few months here and there in the US. You don’t have to permanently move. Perhaps take advantage of the liberal holiday leave you have and find a way to visit; maybe run a Bed and Breakfast while the owners go on vacation.