To ask you to tell me the bad things about living in America?

[Witchofzog]

Ever since I was a child I thought I would live in America. Any visits I have made there reinforced how much I love it there (I am aware a holiday is not real life) but for various reasons it never happenned. I am now early forties with a mild heart condition and I am aware it is probably too late for me now.

I went to uni with a lovely woman who has literally got the life I wanted. She now lives in a sunny state with her husband who is handsome AND kind and has made lots of friends out there. And I am both happy for her and envious as hell. I know comparison is the thief of joy but today I have been unhealthily fixated on how her life compares to mine and I find mine sadly lacking. I will pick myself up tomorrow, re-evaluate and am already thinking of what I can do to make my own life better but still I feel sad that I never achieved my dream.

Please be kind. My uni friend is beautiful inside and out and she deserves everything she has - and she worked hard for it. But I really need to snap out of this somehow hence asking for the bad things about living stateside. I am aware my spectacles may be rose tinted so some perspective would be really helpful

@mathanxiety

zafferana, you needed 'hard cider'.

After that, any time I went to their house for a special occasion where we'd be required to eat, I'd take my own bottle of wine! They thought it was v. amusing that 'the European' had to have her wine

You can eat as well or as poorly as you like in the US.

Yes, totally agree with this - and groceries don't necessarily cost a fortune - it depends where you shop and what you like to eat. If you do your weekly shop at Whole Foods, yes you will spend A FORTUNE! If you do it at ShopRite or at Food Lion or whatever the big local supermarket chain is, it really shouldn't (current £/$ exchange rate notwithstanding). And you don't have to buy the nasty fluffy, sugary bread. You can buy all kinds of bread in the USA, just like you can here. I never had a problem finding organic produce either - regardless of where we were - but I never visited the flyover states so can't vouch for what you might find in Nebraska or Ohio or Oklahoma.

the generous employee support during Covid ... would explain the almost 40 million people signing on for time-limited unemployment benefits

My fault for not being clearer, mathanxiety - I was actually referencing those who've insisted there isn't any help for loss of income around Covid

Nobody denies there are issues around welfare, but it's the insistence that it barely exists which I find frustrating

The idea that poor people are poor because there is something wrong with them that shouldn't be pandered to is a huge problem for America's hundreds of millions of poor people.

Say what? Hundreds of millions of poor people? The total population is about only about 330 million, and the last census found the poverty rate to be about 12%.

And the food stamp program you rubbish is just one of six major welfare programs available in the US, including the EITC which provides refundable tax credits to the working poor to spend as they like.

[[https://www.thebalance.com/welfare-programs-definition-and-list-3305759 U.S. Welfare Programs, the Myths vs. the Facts
The 6 Major Welfare Programs]]

@lydia7986 you have to post a question here then wait for the other poster to respond. It wasn't possible for me to jump in to the blank space between your question and your sarcastic comment.

When people say MN is a site full of middle class, self absorbed, predominantly white people concerned solely with typically white middle class things, I always argue that's not true at all.

However the fact that you and your posting buddy, one after the other were completely ignorant of the deaths of Mark Duggan, Jimmy Mbenga and many others, along with the fact that you seem completely unaware black people are nearly twice as likely to die as a result of restraint in police custody here in the UK, makes me think I should stop defending this site. It's inexcusable that you should be so proud of your ignorance.

The idea that poor people are poor because there is something wrong with them that shouldn't be pandered to is a huge problem for America's hundreds of millions of poor people.

It's a massive problem here, you honestly think the Tories 'austerity' policy - punitive measures like PIP and UC, massive cuts to all social services, throwing ill people under a bus - are because we Brits don't have this same Victorian ideal? Where do you think the US got it from? Like father, like son.

Now we have the new soft target, furlough people. They'll be on UC soon enough.

@RuffleCrow

You make an interesting point. I agree that a massive problem with the US is the deeply ingrained, institutionalized racism toward the black community.

However I just looked up statistics and UK only has 3% black population. So it’s comparing apples to oranges to say the US is more racist than the UK. I know there are people from other countries there and know there is racism toward them.

I would offer as a “pro” about the US that having a larger AA population brings a richness and vibrancy to our culture that I would sorely miss if I lived somewhere else without it.

(And in fact I did live in a place with very few A.A. people for a short time; it was weird, and I hated it.)

Way more sexism. The way strip clubs are advertised and generally more acceptable. The way female waiters wear tiny skirts to get more tips. Certain things felt a bit more backward. It's a place of extremes though.

@MissConductUS 12% is horrific!

Trump?

[quote EveryoneLoves09876]@MissConductUS 12% is horrific![/quote]
It is indeed horrific @EveryoneLoves09876

I can only console myself that it's substantially better than the 16.7% poverty rate in the UK

countryeconomy.com/countries/compare/usa/uk

@EveryoneLoves09876

Bit offensive to those of us that waited tables in normal places for you to suggest that short skirts are the norm. No, they absolutely are not. I haven’t dined in a place where the women are on display in the last decade.

Maybe you were just dragged into one like that. Some do exist, most normal people avoid them.

Bit offensive to those of us that waited tables in normal places for you to suggest that short skirts are the norm.

Excellent point. When I tended bar I wore black jeans and a long sleeved blouse. Fortunately men tipped well anyway.

@MissConductUS

That’s a great website!

Check out the healthcare expenditure in US vs UK. Both per Capita and % of total budget. US spends more than twice per Capita than UK?!

Obviously that $ is not very well distributed amongst us all.

... America's hundreds of millions of poor people

Errrr ... the population of the USA is about 328 million, and hundreds of millions would mean a large majority of them

You're seriously suggesting that the majority of folk in the US live in poverty??

@Puzzledandpissedoff

... America's hundreds of millions of poor people

Errrr ... the population of the USA is about 328 million, and hundreds of millions would mean a large majority of them

You're seriously suggesting that the majority of folk in the US live in poverty??

@mathanxiety is obviously math challenged as well.

[quote HannaYeah]@MissConductUS

That’s a great website!

Check out the healthcare expenditure in US vs UK. Both per Capita and % of total budget. US spends more than twice per Capita than UK?!

Obviously that $ is not very well distributed amongst us all.[/quote]
Indeed. Our system has huge inefficiencies so that's part of it. But both systems ration care, just differently. The NHS does so partly by using waiting lists for all but the most direly urgent treatments and by simply not making some very expensive drugs available, or making them available with only the most stringent restrictions.

In the US care is rationed by the patchwork of public and private insurance providers. Both systems suck, each in their own special ways.

short skirts on waitresses and strip clubs! I wonder about where some of you chose to go on holidays.

@pallisers I wonder about where some of you chose to go on holidays.

I can relate . Someone on MN once commented about drug addicts and 'misfits' hanging about in our capital. Turned out the poster was referring to a very specific place, you have to very actively seek out .

Medical fees. America, captured.

America's poverty rate is the worst in the developed world. In second last place is Romania. About one fifth of American children live in poverty. This is according to the OECD.

Poverty level is a defined threshold that may or may not reflect the financial reality of life in the US for just about half its population. Relative poverty may be a more meaningful concept.

...despite the strong labor market, wage growth has lagged economists’ expectations. In fact, despite some ups and downs over the past several decades, today’s real average wage (that is, the wage after accounting for inflation) has about the same purchasing power it did 40 years ago. And what wage gains there have been have mostly flowed to the highest-paid tier of workers.
www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/08/07/for-most-us-workers-real-wages-have-barely-budged-for-decades/

The official poverty figures don't reflect the chasm that has opened between the very top and the rest. They also don't represent the working poor who may make more than the federal poverty level but not enough to owe federal income tax (though they do pay sales tax and miscellaneous local and state fees and taxes) and this accounts for just under half of Americans. Mitt Romney was right to say that 47% of Americans don't pay federal income tax. The various insinuations he made about the millions he referred to were wrong - almost half of American workers, including millions working full time, don't make enough to reach the tax threshold.
www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/04/14/u-s-workforce-more-concentrated-in-large-and-largely-low-paid-occupations/

www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/04/24/not-all-unemployed-people-get-unemployment-benefits-in-some-states-very-few-do/
The current crisis has thrown many families into poverty. Whether that shock will be temporary or long lasting is anybody's guess.
Not all the unemployed will receive unemployment insurance by a long shot.
For those who do, benefits are capped at varying amounts according to state.
Benefits are also time limited.

So yes, benefits are really nothing to write home about, and the word 'generous' isn't an appropriate one to use here.

Thanks for the infographic on welfare programmes, MissConduct.

I know how they work though, and I know from personal experience about the limitations of SNAP.

www.thebalance.com/living-wage-3305771
Living wage/ minimum wage/ the real meaning of poverty.

www.thebalance.com/definition-of-middle-class-income-4126870
How to define middle class - income level or spending level?

I love america for holidayingid like to explore more but the op asked to put her off not big it up

What scares me most about living there , is the general quality of life Compared with other countries. Speaking to few Americans living in big cities like SF , NY I was shocked with just how much you had to earn to live a decent life.

groceries are so expensive, I tried buying from small independent shops and they were far more expensive than places like Wholefoods! Which is actually crap when compared to Waitrose or M&S or the many lovely independent shops we have here.

Health insurance is just ridiculous. I actually argued with a friend on WhatsApp about this recently , she believes it’s Trump who is responsible about the high number of deaths due to Covid19, and not the health system!

It’s really expensive, there is no way to enjoy a comfortable life with foreign holidays, dining out , hobbies, nice house unless you are a high earner.

My general perception of the US is that everything stopped developing in the past 30-25 years and the country is in a standstill, the Americans were always told they are the greatest nation on earth for so long it’s in their bones, they are not open to any improvement.

But it’s truly a beautiful country, I hated the big cities, even NY, far to loud and gritty, but places like Connecticut with its charming towns are so picturesque. Charleston is probably my favourite, beautiful architecture!

@lydia7986 have you always been this ignorant or is it a new thing?